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  • 2 months later...

Hi,

I'm Narshe81, the original poster of the old Coming off Invega Sustenna thread. I was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia back late 2012 early 2013 and was forced to take Invega Sustenna injections for close to a year. I have been off all meds since 2013 and have been posting for a while, updating my recovery progress over the years. I was absent for a while from the forums because I was too sick/ill to bother coming online anymore. My condition has not improved. I'm suffering everyday. I don't even feel like writing anything right now, but it's just been too much for me. Anhedonia has not improved. I find no pleasure in life. My writing, speaking, socializing skills are gone. I am no longer human. Each day I suffer in silence and I feel tortured/restless/anxious 24/7. Each minute feels like an hour. I have lost all my friends and my family has abandoned me.

It's May 2-17 now... Been almost 5 years off Invega Sustenna from a misdiagnose and I have not recovered. The only thing improved were that I feel less of the inner torment was I used to feel back when I was still on the injection. Aside from that, my life has no meaning. I am angry and bitter at psychiatry and all its lies. The doctor who told me that this drug was new and that there was no side effects. I want him to go through what he put me through. I hope that he would suffer the same way he made me suffer. He lied to me and took no responsibilities for it after.

I want to kill myself but I am too scared. I really want it all to end. I feel no pleasure, I no longer feel hungry, sleepy, content, satisfied, etc. I have not felt 'pleasure' of euphoric for the past 5 years almost after this drug. Why is it that there is nothing we can do? We can't even sue them? The drugs made us so docile and took away our energies to make a fuss. Most of us just end up sitting back and suffer while they make shit tons of money off these horrible drugs. Fuck psychiatry and its lies. I want my life back.

What can do I now 5 years after this drug and still not recovered? I don't even feel hungry anymore. I don't enjoy food. Each second is torment. It's hard for me to explain in words now what or how I feel. My intelligent level has dropped a lot. I'm a university grad with 3.6 GPA and now I can't even write a proper sentence or finish my thought. I have no interests and hobbies now. Everything that I used to enjoy are all nothing now. I have no desire for anything. Each day is just trying to survive until bed time just so I can force myself to fall asleep eventhough I don't even feel sleepy or rested after.

I have nothing left. I don't want to live.

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  • 7 months later...
On 5/3/2017 at 7:23 PM, Narshe81_return said:

I was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia back late 2012 early 2013 and was forced to take Invega Sustenna injections for close to a year.

 

On 5/3/2017 at 7:23 PM, Narshe81_return said:

Hi,

I'm Narshe81, the original poster of the old Coming off Invega Sustenna thread. I was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia back late 2012 early 2013 and was forced to take Invega Sustenna injections for close to a year. I have been off all meds since 2013 and have been posting for a while, updating my recovery progress over the years. I was absent for a while from the forums because I was too sick/ill to bother coming online anymore. My condition has not improved. I'm suffering everyday. I don't even feel like writing anything right now, but it's just been too much for me. Anhedonia has not improved. I find no pleasure in life. My writing, speaking, socializing skills are gone. I am no longer human. Each day I suffer in silence and I feel tortured/restless/anxious 24/7. Each minute feels like an hour. I have lost all my friends and my family has abandoned me.

It's May 2-17 now... Been almost 5 years off Invega Sustenna from a misdiagnose and I have not recovered. The only thing improved were that I feel less of the inner torment was I used to feel back when I was still on the injection. Aside from that, my life has no meaning. I am angry and bitter at psychiatry and all its lies. The doctor who told me that this drug was new and that there was no side effects. I want him to go through what he put me through. I hope that he would suffer the same way he made me suffer. He lied to me and took no responsibilities for it after.

I want to kill myself but I am too scared. I really want it all to end. I feel no pleasure, I no longer feel hungry, sleepy, content, satisfied, etc. I have not felt 'pleasure' of euphoric for the past 5 years almost after this drug. Why is it that there is nothing we can do? We can't even sue them? The drugs made us so docile and took away our energies to make a fuss. Most of us just end up sitting back and suffer while they make shit tons of money off these horrible drugs. Fuck psychiatry and its lies. I want my life back.

What can do I now 5 years after this drug and still not recovered? I don't even feel hungry anymore. I don't enjoy food. Each second is torment. It's hard for me to explain in words now what or how I feel. My intelligent level has dropped a lot. I'm a university grad with 3.6 GPA and now I can't even write a proper sentence or finish my thought. I have no interests and hobbies now. Everything that I used to enjoy are all nothing now. I have no desire for anything. Each day is just trying to survive until bed time just so I can force myself to fall asleep eventhough I don't even feel sleepy or rested after.

I have nothing left. I don't want to live.

Hey Narshe81,  I hope you are doing better, I am not.  I've been suffering for 4 years.  I don't want to live anymore either but I am too afraid to kill myself also.  I really feel like we need to come together and protest this violation of human rights that allows doctors to force medication against your will.  We need to all move to one place, whether it's America or Russia or wherever and really start a protest.  We need to educate people about what's going on.  The problem is most people will say "oh your just depressed" or whatever but we have no other option.  Sitting at home all day is not going to change anything.  We need to stick together.  We need to have our own forum or website where we can communicate with each other so we can find out if anyone recovered.  It seems that most people stopped posting on forums so it's hard for me to get in contact and I'm really concerned.  They may have committed suicide for all I know.  Anyways please respond if you see this.  Peace.

Edited by spokety
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