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SH escalation - TW


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Hi, I'm completely new here and after lurking for a while have managed to work up the courage to post. Please edit or remove if I do something wrong. 

At the end of last year I relapsed back into SH after a 3 year break, and although I was initially being careful not to get hooked into it again, thats gone out of the window now. The severity and regularity has been escalating, and over the weekend I ended up having to go to the ED for stitches. I'm really struggling with the urges to do it again, and none of my distraction/self-soothing techniques are working currently.

My tdoc has 'confiscated' all of my tools, but I'm just feeling a bit hopeless about the whole thing. Over the last couple of years I've completely isolated myself, so although I have a good treating team, I have no friends or peers to talk to. I'm hoping reaching out and connecting on this forum will help me a bit :)

Tiff x 

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I'm sorry things have been difficult enough that you've started self harming again. Its good you were able to take yourself to the ED and that you have at least T support around you. Self harm on top of mental illness can be really isolating and its understandable you're having a challenging time and I get where you're coming from not having normal coping strategies helping. Glad you've felt able to reach out here. If I can listen or be here for you in any way, I will try. Please try to take care of yourself, especially if you're needing stitches, serious damage sucks. I'm in australia too, so I will probably be around at similar times to you.

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Welcome, tiff. (Great series of books, btw :D)

Sucks when relapse happens. And it's also the case that sometimes it happens. 

When you think about the things that lead up to the relapse, where did your skills fail you? Where were the "weak links" in your ability to cope with stress that contributed to the relapse?

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I relapsed again after a nasty breakup with an abusive partner. I guess having no 'accountability' was what made it seem like a good idea. No one to see it and get upset and angry. But then the more you do it, the more you get addicted to it again. I have a fairly new tdoc and treating team, and this is the first time he's dealt with my self-harm. Its weird for me - I've never had a tdoc so concerned with self-harm before. None of my previous ones were that bothered by it. But this tdoc takes it very seriously, and treats every incident like a crisis. He keeps gently bringing up hospital which scares me.

Thank you for your kind replies :)

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Its the worst! I know he has the best intentions but I just find it a bit disconcerting. It makes me not want to tell him when I do SH. Although I do get why he's concerned - I actually just got back from the ED where I got more stitches tonight. I'll have to see what happens tomorrow when I see him and my pdoc.

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Ah yeah. I can see the concern from his perspective if you're injuring badly enough to need stitches. 

The containment of the hospital can sometimes be helpful. But sometimes it can make things worse. Maybe you guys could have a talk about harm reduction since it doesn't seem likely that you're going to stop self harming entirely any time soon.

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