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Reality checking: who is safe for you?


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It's becoming more and more clear to me that, in some aspects of my life, I'm completely delusional and am convinced that I'm getting persecuted nearly all the time. Obviously I can't check that with the people that I'm scared of. Who else can I reality check with?

I don't trust my partner in this area, because I consider him to just be mis-informed on the subject. 

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I reality check either here or on the new chat. I understand not trusting your partner my ex was quite misinformed about MI in general. 

In person, I can reality check with tdoc since I see him 2x/week. I don't see pdoc that often to reality check with him anymore.

Sometimes I may even reality check with my boss. I have done that before too.

 

If you don't have anyone in real life that you feel comfortable reality checking with, can you continue posting on this forum? Or even in the "Anyone on the SZ spectrum want to share?" topic? I often find that delusional people make great reality checkers. :P 

Edited by iaawal
a word
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I see tdoc twice a week too. She helps me, and reminds me about reality. Then I go home, and I forget, and I get scared again.

I'm currently checking with my employer, too. I'm scared to do that, though. Because I need to do it a lot, and I'm scared that it will make them think that they can get rid of me. Which I think is part of the persecution thing but I'm not sure. See the problem here?

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2 minutes ago, WinterRosie said:

I see tdoc twice a week too. She helps me, and reminds me about reality. Then I go home, and I forget, and I get scared again.

I'm currently checking with my employer, too. I'm scared to do that, though. Because I need to do it a lot, and I'm scared that it will make them think that they can get rid of me. Which I think is part of the persecution thing but I'm not sure. See the problem here?

I see the problem. My only suggestion is to do it here. Can you access CB while you're at work on your computer or on your phone? 

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I can access it on my phone. I use their wifi so sometimes I get a bit worried about that, but it's usually okay. And I go for coffee every few days so I can do that when I get too worried about them tracing the address through the router.

The check-in thread is a good idea.

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I normally reality check with (now the new) chat. I might be able to reality check with my mother; I until recently hid my psychotic symptoms from both of my parents, but letting them know actually went over much better than I expected, so I might be able to reality check with her (she's a semi-retired tdoc) (my father on the other hand does not really understand any of this).

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Aside from checking in with another person, my tdoc has taught me to ground myself if I'm hearing voices or whatever. You can do it in various ways. Focus on something in your environment like a picture on the wall or music. Focus all you can on that something and take some deep breaths and reconnect with reality.

 

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I'm getting better at grounding! :)

My challenge is that I keep thinking in very catastrophic ways that I'm in trouble and that it will be exceedingly life-altering if I get found out. I need fairly constant reminders that this is not, in fact, the case.

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It's difficult for me to trust others and even those close to me. If I am afraid, or if something new seems linked, I try to ask myself if anyone would believe me. Or if most people would say it was real. If most other people would not think it was true, than I reason it is probably a delusion.

For example I thought I was hearing some kind of noise that was a being trying to get my attention. It was very upsetting at first. I reasoned that if I asked just about anyone if that was real, they would say no. So likely it was a delusion. It still feels scary but I think it is probably not real.

Also I try to repeat to myself when I'm upset that every thing is normal. It is just a regular day. Nothing special is happening. 

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