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Does it sound like I'm getting depressed?


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Here's what's going on:

 

- Sleeping more than usual and feeling fatigued a great deal of the time

- Receiving messages from the supernatural entity that wants me to kill myself

- Some suicidal thoughts, but they aren't coming from me... the entity is putting them in my head

- High anxiety and OCD

 

I know when I meet my docs on Tuesday they are going to say I'm depressed, but I don't feel depressed. Maybe a bit on the physical side (tiredness, sleeping a lot), but my main complaint right now is having thoughts put into my head by this creature that's out to get me. Unfortunately I doubt they can help me with that. I've had this happen time and time again and now I'm trusting my senses and intuition. I know what's happening is true and I need to fight it on my own terms. No one can help me.

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Do you think maybe you crashed after your manic episode? 

Also, seriously your supernatural entity is just like Sharon (my evil mind/entity/idk what she is). 

That is exactly what happened to me after what some thought was a manic episode. I "crashed," ended up calling pdoc from under my desk to avoid bad things getting me and then days later I was just like this. Sharon was putting violent images in my head and controlling my body and trying to kill me.

Edited by iaawal
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So it does sound like I'm depressed, then? I kinda don't think I am. Is it just that I've had suicidal thoughts? Even though they aren't my thoughts?

10 hours ago, iaawal said:

Do you think maybe you crashed after your manic episode? 

Also, seriously your supernatural entity is just like Sharon (my evil mind/entity/idk what she is). 

That is exactly what happened to me after what some thought was a manic episode. I "crashed," ended up calling pdoc from under my desk to avoid bad things getting me and then days later I was just like this. Sharon was putting violent images in my head and controlling my body and trying to kill me.

Yea I do think it might be a bit of a crash, but I'm confused that I'm not having a ton of depressed symptoms. Most of the badness is coming from the entity.

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3 minutes ago, aura said:

So it does sound like I'm depressed, then? I kinda don't think I am. Is it just that I've had suicidal thoughts? Even though they aren't my thoughts?

Yea I do think it might be a bit of a crash, but I'm confused that I'm not having a ton of depressed symptoms. Most of the badness is coming from the entity.

To me it just sounds like a result of the entity being mean to you but I lack any rational thought when it comes to mine. Also a crash.

So Carol (rational mind) says let's agree with the others and say it's psychotic depression but even she's having a hard time believing that one because she's not sure. Take what I say with a grain of salt, I'm clearly not operating at my best. 

Talk to pdoc. Like the others said could be psychotic depression.

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1 hour ago, aura said:

So it does sound like I'm depressed, then? I kinda don't think I am. Is it just that I've had suicidal thoughts? Even though they aren't my thoughts?

Every time I give my pdoc an example of something like an OD or related (like an analogy to something) he says I am depressed.  Every time.  I don't feel depressed, but apparently I am.

@aura what did your pdoc say when you called her from under your desk?

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13 minutes ago, melissaw72 said:

 

Every time I give my pdoc an example of something like an OD or related (like an analogy to something) he says I am depressed.  Every time.  I don't feel depressed, but apparently I am.

@aura what did your pdoc say when you called her from under your desk?

I think you mean @iaawal? I didn't call pdoc.

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Sometimes for me at least, I get a low mood when I am psychotic, because, the hallucinations are so negative, my pdoc says its not depression, its a reaction to the voices, death messages, etc. 

When I am depressed there is no rhyme or reason, I just withdraw from everything, sleep a ton, hopelessness, tearfulness, isolation, can't laugh or have fun

I experience psychosis with low mood outside of actual depressed or manic episodes. I also experience psychosis with my baseline mood. 

To sum it up, who wouldn't be kinda low when psychosis is scary, negative, and sending you death messages.

I would question your pdoc on why he thinks your depressed, and if you disagree, challenge him, Good luck!

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Being physically tired after the "burning the candle at both ends" effect of mania is not unusual. Thinking that you're depressed because an entity outside yourself is putting any kind of thought into your head is. That's not classic mania. That's a symptom pf psychosis.

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So this sounds more like psychosis than depression? I really don't feel depressed at all, but I keep thinking about suicide anyway. They aren't my thoughts. So far they are only mild suggestions and I can fight them off pretty easily, but the entity is strong and it can make me totally lose touch with my own needs and safety if it wants to. I don't want that to happen!

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