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I guess I always thought OCD was "Munk" (The TV show) but my Doc has DXed me with it and after a little bit of reading I see that one aspect of it seems to be me.   Perfection and never being pleased with the results.   While this is actually useful if you design electronics and software its still a pain.   The OCD is also I think?   Part of anxiety issues.   Getting into a panic over not having something done on time  because its not "perfect" yet (Thus taking more time) and making my frequent high speed trips to the post office at the last possible second an experience I really really don't like.   At least this seems to be making the stock price of Valium go up.  

I'm not very well versed in OCD or connections with Anxiety and depression so if anyone would like to chime in please do.

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OCD is linked to anxiety because of several things. The obsession that drives (in your case perfection) is linked to the compulsive behavior to act out a "ritual" that enables that perfection to happen or ward off anything that could prevent the so called perfection (i.e. constantly revising and checking.) If you mess up your ritual, anxiety floods in because you feel that you have "jinxed" yourself or others, so to speak.

I hope that made some sense. At least that is the science behind it. From my experience as a checker and a germaphobe, things can get horribly anxiety ridden if I don't wash my hands x amount of times, or if I don't methodically check my place before going to bed or leaving. Because I may be contaminated, or I may not have locked the door, etc. I also was the same kind of perfectionist at work and school, always revising because nothing was good enough.

Not that I am endorsing these behaviors. I'm just trying to explain the anxiety. And yes, I am being treated. :P

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17 hours ago, Poem said:

OCD is linked to anxiety because of several things. The obsession that drives (in your case perfection) is linked to the compulsive behavior to act out a "ritual" that enables that perfection to happen or ward off anything that could prevent the so called perfection (i.e. constantly revising and checking.) If you mess up your ritual, anxiety floods in because you feel that you have "jinxed" yourself or others, so to speak.

I hope that made some sense. At least that is the science behind it. From my experience as a checker and a germaphobe, things can get horribly anxiety ridden if I don't wash my hands x amount of times, or if I don't methodically check my place before going to bed or leaving. Because I may be contaminated, or I may not have locked the door, etc. I also was the same kind of perfectionist at work and school, always revising because nothing was good enough.

Not that I am endorsing these behaviors. I'm just trying to explain the anxiety. And yes, I am being treated. :P

It comes in handy if you do programming or electronic design.   Or art if you like it to be super anal exactness.   ha ha.

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22 hours ago, Poem said:

OCD is linked to anxiety because of several things. The obsession that drives (in your case perfection) is linked to the compulsive behavior to act out a "ritual" that enables that perfection to happen or ward off anything that could prevent the so called perfection (i.e. constantly revising and checking.)  :P

Does being a "Perfectionist" necessarily mean you are "OCD"? Like for example, I've never been dx'd OCD but I do have anxiety and obsessive needs around checking & revising anything I work on (wanting immediate perfection). It has caused me many, many problems because I hate completing work assignments if they are not up to par with my expectations. They end up getting turned in late, or I am extremely late to start/initiate projects. This also manifests in therapy, I feel like I don't articulate myself "perfectly" (despite rehearsing many times what I will say). In activities or hobbies, since i was a child, I never thought I was "perfect enough' compared to others in the sport or competition, arts whatever.

I can't just "dive in" or "just do it" However, like the OP said, no matter how much I revise, or redo something, spell check, re-read something, or practice an activity, it's never "good enough" and I am never satisfied.

Is this OCD or just a perfectionist streak/anxious personality with low self-esteem?

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Could be either one really. I guess it comes to how much it affects your life, and if there is significant distress involved. I'm no Doctor, so I can't say either way. But you do bring up a valid point @Blahblah, it could just be a personality trait and not a disorder. Perfectionism falls under both categories.

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Certified OCPD perfectionist over here haha, a lot of my perfectionism is about having standards so high, not even a deity could reach it. Then, once I inevitably fail to reach those standards, that part of my brain gets to rip me to shreds, reminding me how 'useless' I am. I used to work in catering (well, professional kitchen lets say) and it was the worst possible career choice for me. You are trained to be aware of hazards and germs, but of course in the OCD/OCPD (in my case) mindset, that because 'must avoid any possibility of bacteria to the n-th degree'. I couldn't sleep at night if I hadn't cleaned the counters x times over after working with raw chicken. Completely convinced I would wake up to a salmonella crisis that I'd created. There was also a checking component- do I have enough stock, or too much stock, will bosses be mad, etc.

A lot of this stemmed from inexperience and poor management. Unfortunately, I can't tell you how not to be a perfectionist, but I can offer some generic advice? For one thing, setting appropriate boundaries helps. As said, poor management meant that I was given far more responsibility than I should have been at that stage in my career. Pointing out earlier on that this was unreasonable would have helped. I don't know if you work alone or in a team, but maybe getting feedback on what others think of your work would help. A lot of the time, details that seem of vital importance to us are completely overlooked by other people, because all they can see is just... good work. Unfortunately, perfectionism is seen as a 'valuable' trait in employment, because we 'produce' better work. But that doesn't mean shit if it makes you feel like shit. Far better to be happy with yourself than trying to live up to what others want from you.

Perfectionism helps fuel the anxiety/depression spiral because it creates impossible goals which will always lead to disappointment. I struggle to accept that I'm just a human being who makes mistakes. Unacceptable! But worrying and focusing on avoiding mistakes leads to bigger problems, one of which being a mood down the toilet and anxiety through the roof because everything becomes about Being Better. I once took half an hour to cut a few carrots because I thought if they were the wrong size I would get fired. Then I panicked because I was taking so long, which would get me fired. I did not get fired, I just got a cigarette break, because... chefs? 

Gosh sorry for the essay. If it's too long to read I can condense it? (Still trying to appease!)

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