Trileptal 150 mg withdrawal

[Sls]

 As I sit here and get my thoughts together like search the internet for help  when it comes to withdrawal  from medications. I've been put on Trileptal 225mg for 1 year and a half this withdrawal from Trileptal has been so difficult but short-lived ,at the same time I can't remember things I leave doors open I try to say something and something else comes out I actually feel sometimes like i am drunk , I started my withdrawal from going from  taking 225 mg for the last year and three months down to 75 mg in the morning and 75 in the evening I'm now down to 50 mg in the morning and 50 in the evening my next step next week will be down 25 morning 25 evening . 

At  My doctors advice we have been doing this within a 14 to 15 day period for each cut down . 

 I cannot say enough about the fact about how as a patient you have to be your own advocate when it comes to your health and what you will take to help you . I admitted myself in the hospital a year and a half ago due to severe anxiety that caused me to want to hurt myself and then it turned to my family I felt like a total freak  panicked I knew this was not something I wanted or felt , but soon realized at the hospital that my doctor had switched my meds three times within a week in a half . I'm very sensitive to medication and that's what drove me over the edge . 

 I have been dealing with stress for a very long time I begged for help from my husband but he just didn't listen he didn't think it was as bad as I was telling him as I cried and cried for months he's apologized up-and-down I know he's truly sorry it's not his fault that I have these issues and he truly has been a rock for me . 

 I just feel so sad that I had to get that bad to finally realize that I could've just said no I can't do this or no I don't want to be around the situation .  I guess I just can't stress enough how important it is to really think about your situation or anyone else it's reading this I always say now in doubt just stop . NO!

I also feel guilty because I used to think that people who  ended up in a situation like this were truly crazy , I accept the fact now that I was so wrong it bothers me that I was that way and I am sorry for it.  This society promotes these feelings but it still is not excusable .

 I now daily deal with the fact of having to let go that I admitted myself to Physc hospital it saved my life but most of all protected my family as a victim of abuse as a child my emotions have been affected but they're not going to conquer me it's been about a year and a half now ,  i've had a lot of therapy rest and support from my family and friends and I'm ready to start to go back to the things I love more fully but a changed person! if I can say anything to anyone pay attention to how you feel emotionally take time to think about what your options are , PLEASE take THE TIME  to research any medications you may take if that's what you choose to do and if you're not able to ask your family members to check before you start to take something.  I've been through Approximately six withdrawals with Clonzepham being the worst. 

I think most of the time family & we ourselves are looking to hurry and get a fix for these terrible feelings and thoughts that is what I found in my case and that really wasn't the solution it did cause more problems. 

 To this day I still don't have an accurate diagnosis yet they put me on mutiple meds starting with Wellbutrin XL to Cymbalta to Gabapetin  to lamatical 3 times a day of clonzepham (  if you look at your research you should only be on this for one month and then put on something else because it's so addictive) to now Trileptal 150 mg  at first it made me feel good I would say for two months then I started to feel depressed again I also had a rash around my eyes it wouldn't go away and severe itching weight gain not to mention I just feel high all the time and my memory has been shot from it.  And through the withdrawal it goes up and down with different effect but I know it's short-lived because of all the other with Charles I've done is the only thing that keeps me going to continue and not give in . I now I'm on Wellbutrin SR 150 once a day am , Xanax 2.5  3 times a day  and I'm finally feeling like I'm getting some control in my life . 

I remember one of my appointments with my psychiatrist she asked "Why are you on Clonzepham?"  I about fell over lol ?  Really I know it's not funny but it is what happened in my life . I have had 4 different Drs  they're doing the best they can but you have to realize there are people and there not perfect and you know what else they're stressed out too and they're probably on meds also ?

Some days I cry about it I'm trying most days to laugh it off for me I realize now this disease depression and anxiety is worse than CANCER . I worry about people that cannot get  adequate care because I was able to have the best care possible and it was still so difficult I am a spiritual person that pulled me out of the darkness more than I ever realized and with that being said reading the Bible has helped me to see  many in the Bible we're also dealing with the same problems we are today and they made it but they trusted in God fully .. 

Sls

Edited March 6, 2017 by Sls
Typos

[crtclms]

Are you venting (which is totally fine), or do you have a question? I'm not trying to be snide, I just don't see one. 

And just so you know, a lot of people take Clonazepam for years. My husband actually takes it for Epilepsy nightly, but many people here do as well. There is a lot of hysteria surrounding benzos. Not that you can't get addicted, it just isn't as common as it is portrayed to be. Most people have little difficulty tapering off.

[Sls]

Tired so I guess venting, also putting some info out there that a real person is experiencing..