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Sick [intrusive] Thought


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Maybe this is normal, maybe not. I definately don't want to diagnose all of my problems as part of a disorder. Normal people are weird too.

I get these very weird, kind of sick thoughts at completely random times. Like today in yoga class, I suddenly imagined someone cutting my leg of with an axe. Stuff like that. The thoughts feel very real and not irrational at all too.

What the hell is this? Is this just a normal quirk or is it something more?

I added "intrusive" to the topic to help with later searches for this subject. --V.E.

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Helena

I remember, a very long time ago, that I was sitting in a meeting and all of a sudden had this thought that someone was going to break in and slaughter us all - yuk. Lots of fear I guess, and paranoia abounded at that time. Let it go, it'll pass. I had an awful hallucination a week or so ago, and someone (I wish I could remember) posted, Weird Brain, and that worked for me.

Keep the faith,

Love, Sylvia

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Maybe this is normal, maybe not. I definately don't want to diagnose all of my problems as part of a disorder. Normal people are weird too.

I get these very weird, kind of sick thoughts at completely random times. Like today in yoga class, I suddenly imagined someone cutting my leg of with an axe. Stuff like that. The thoughts feel very real and not irrational at all too.

What the hell is this? Is this just a normal quirk or is it something more?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Helena, I almost literally killed myself after I had my first kid. I used to have thoughts of bashing his little infant cranium on the sidewalk, throwing him out of the car and WORSE, sick stuff. Twisted shit from the past. But I didn't have a clue about diddly then. Not post partum depression, not pregnancy/labor/delivery induced PTSD, nothing. I thought I was a sick fuck and need to give my baby away and go die.

That was my first serious adult MDD episode. I perservered through treatment for him. External motivation is better than nothing.

I used to wear a rubber band on my wrist. When I'd get those thoughts, and they were like Viewmaster, technicolor bullshit (all the acid), just pop in there. I would say, (like Mr. Rogers), thoughts are just thoughts. It's what we do with them, I'd snap my wrist and remind myself I was NOT going to prepetuate the cycle of violence and abuse handed down to me. And with a lot of therapy so far, they are okay. Weird, but, whaddya expect? LOL

S9

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I get those and assume it is part of my OCDness. If I am near a cliff I always get the urge to jump so I have to make myself move away.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That's different though, Jem? Am right? A parasympathetic system thingee that makes us want to spontaneously drive into a bridge abutement? Is it the same thing?
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My guess is that normal people, whoever they are, have disturbing thoughts and images pop into their head from time to time. I just don't know any normal people. I think people without some flavor of MI would never dare to speak about them.

Would parents tate like chicken?

Erika, sick question, I know but I am joking (I think)

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I don't know what the hell any of it means, but I used to have sudden horrible images flash into my head too. Like I'd imagine mysefl smashing my skull on concrete steps that were over there. I definitely used to have the thing at the top of the Empire State Building or on a cliff (or at the top of the 3-story open tank at the New England Aquarium) where I'd start feeling really nervous that I might suddenly decide to jump. But none of this was ever really accompanied by actual fear or anger or anything, it was just random images.

No idea what it means though.

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I've always attributed this phenomena to OCD, though for me it's not the sudden images so much as the fear that I must be a really fucked up person to have them pop into my head that becomes disabling.

"Intrusive thoughts" is the term I believe.  I wanna look a couple things up on this when I get back from doing laundry and may or may not move this thread to the OCD forum as a result.

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I don't know what the hell any of it means, but I used to have sudden horrible images flash into my head too. Like I'd imagine mysefl smashing my skull on concrete steps that were over there. I definitely used to have the thing at the top of the Empire State Building or on a cliff (or at the top of the 3-story open tank at the New England Aquarium) where I'd start feeling really nervous that I might suddenly decide to jump. But none of this was ever really accompanied by actual fear or anger or anything, it was just random images.

No idea what it means though.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Come on...back to Psych 101...how the parasympathetic (am I even saying the right system) system in our brains, the unconscious part, sends out these random impulses and involuntary muscle control, shit like that. Some help! I know I learned this. And not that long ago, that's the scary part!

The parasympathetic nervous system. I'm too lazy to Google. That's bad.

Oh well...just don't drive into a bridge, saw your legs off, jump of the empire state building or stick your head in an electric oven.

You'll be alright. Buy rubber bands...Jem, ya on da weed?

I wish that stuff worked for me <looks both ways for police>

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Hi Helena,

Yup, I get those too. But I think you can be encouraged by the fact that even as you get this thought that is totally whackjob, your rational mind knows that the thought itself is whackjob.

If you freak out and ruminate over it, you may encourage the thought to come back, but if you just acknowledge it and give it no further concern, it'll go away.

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What you describe are intrusive thoughts and are a symptom of OCD and other anxiety disorders. I've had these since I was a kid but I usually ignored them and the subsequent anxiety they caused. I never developed coping compulsions in response to the thoughts, which is what happens in full-blown OCD.

I think of the thoughts as a sign of a creative mind. Some people go to horror films to get their heart beating; we can just dream them up and get the same effect. If the thoughts take over and cause great discomfort, then it is time to bring them up with a pro and go from there.

--Weasel

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OCD? I've never had the diagnosis OCD, and I've had a couple. But I've always suspected I had some mild version of OCD. Then again, I think I have a mild version of pretty much everything.

Another weird thing I have is that my left side of the body constantly feel as it will float away if I don't "ground it" by touching things with my left pinkie finger. Hmm. Sometimes I even feel the urge to touch people, when I'm not close to a wall or a suitable object. Doesn't this sound a bit OCD? I do it all the time. And I like order. I love

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the Concerta definitely exacerbates OCD.....so that might be something to look at as a cause in your OCD getting a bit more intense. 

I speak with experience of this.  As i take a stim for my ADD and it intensifies my OCD issues, the intrustive thoughts go mad in my mind if i dont take another med to get the OCD down....... right now taking 5 mgs of Lexapro and 4 mgs of Gabitril at night is doing the trick (though the Gabitril is kickin my cognitive abilities a bit).

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BTW, how the hell do you treat OCD if you can't take antidepressants?

My tdoc is tapering me down (off?) of zoloft (switching over to a depakote/lamictal mix). He started me on Risperdal to help clear my head. Wow, works very well, and I'm sleeping better. I'm feeling tinglings of OCD revving back up, but since I'm going through a meds change, and still titrating on the Risperdal, I guess that can be expected.

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I think there is a spectrum of OCD symptoms and behaviors. Lots of people have little rituals they perform when they have intrusive thoughts--to keep bad things from happening. OCD is diagnosed when the anxiety from the thoughts and the corresponding rituals take a significant amount of time and when they keep a person from "functioning".

If you are just having passing intrusive thoughts that you find strange, but that you can let pass without trouble, then you probably don't need to worry about OCD. OCD thrives in a positive feedback loop situation: the thought triggers anxiety which leads to the action (compulsion), and when the action doesn't prevent the next occurence of the thought, greater anxiety arises and the action is tried again...and you just go in circles.

If you are bothered too much by the thoughts, and/or have out of control compulsions, then you can try cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT works by gradually desensitizing you to the intrusive thoughts. For example someone with a cleanliness obsession might have to expose themself to a "dirty" environment and then resist the compulsion as long as possible, repeatedly. It's a slow reconditioning process.

--Weasel

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I have had really sick thoughts, and I was worried, I don't listen to aggressive music or watch horror movies or like violence or gore, I'm a bit of a peace loving wuss that way. But the more I got scared and repulsed, the more it went on, and it wasn't until I talked to health professionals and relatives and mentally ill people and Buddhists and basically other people that I realised it does happen to some extent to us all, it's not pathological. It didn't mean I secretly enjoyed it or was repressing it, or that I would be overtaken by it, or that I was possessed or a nutjob.

We all have thoughts of all varieties and we can't always control it, we have to choose how we respond. M Scott Peck talks emotions and thoughts as slaves. If we are too harsh with them, they rise up and burn the house down when we let our guard down. If we are scared by them and let them ovverrule us they run riot too. So the trick is not to be too harsh ro too scared, but to observe and to stay cool as much as you can.

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BTW, how the hell do you treat OCD if you can't take antidepressants? Therapy? What kind?

I've learned some CBT tools that have helped.  Seroquel has helped more with the thoughts than anything else.

Check out the CBT Workbook by Hyman that is mentioned several places in this board.  It's excellent.  It's like six months of therapy without the uncomfortable chairs.  It's the source for the OCD subtypes mentioned in the board description.  I should really cite that.

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