so, i went to the doctors today and they were all freaking out concerned about my weight. I am only 30 lbs. "underweight". under weight my ass. everyday i come home from not eating at school and then binge eat a whole bunch of food. then throw it all up. i made promises that i would eat. but they said nothing about throwing it back up. im suppose to weigh 40 more lbs than my current weight. and im so happy about it.
What medications have you found that have worked for binge eating disorder or bulimia? Topamax kinda helps, but I hate the side effects (depression, hair loss, slowed thinking, tiredness, etc....) and was wondering if anybody else had success with any other medications. Or if you've found ways to deal with the cognitive side effects of topamax?
So it's the 6 week holidays and I was having a pretty good time spending it with my girlfriend and loved ones. However it's currently 1:15am and I have just purged after weighing myself. I look in the mirror and all I see is a fat, ugly, slut! I hate her and I don't even know who she is anymore. Every night I have had alone when there's nobody with me I fall back into purging and not eating. I hate my weight. I used to be so thin but this recovery has made me fatter than ever and I just want to punch the walls and scream! I just need people to rant to who understand. I just want to be more open with Bulimia and talk to people who feel the same - I feel like ranting is a good option right now.
My name is Kelsey and I am living with multiple illnesses(bipolar type 3,aka cyclothymia, ADHD, alcoholism, paranoia, eat disorders etc) that my doctor refuses to treat until I gain his trust back.. (I want a new pdoc, but he knows me and my tricks)... I recently overdosed on over 11700mg of lithium, 1300mg of seroquel, 1040 mg of both prozac and vyvance. I had to spend 5 day in the ICU in hard cuffs and soft cuffs. I spend 24 of those hours getting my blood dialysised. The rest of the time I spend was hallucinating my team of nurses were all the enemies in my favorite primetime shows (too many to name on here). I bit my head nurse, bruised her from kicking her in the stomach during the switch from hard cuffs to soft. I escaped my hands from the cuffs and it all seems to be a blur, so much I have to ask relatives if it really happened or if it were just a dream. Once the lithium was out of my system and all the hallucinations stoppedal they wheeled me to a psych ward where I was miserably happy.. no matter what happened, I had the biggest shit eating grin on my face. I was happy. There wasn't a thing nurse, an orderly, doctor, social worker, or peer could say or do to me that would make me unhappy(however, my husband did tell me that my mania was getting good worse every evening he saw me) I . I guess the 5 day ordeal in the ICU really had an impact onot my life and I had yet to realise it until I started to talk to everyone about all my life decisions that haday everything to do with my addictions and mental illnesses. I flip two suvs, got 18 stitches in both wrist. Wrecked four vehicles, been to jail, extreme drug and alcohol abuse, etc. Every action whether a positive or negative impact on my life was because I was living in denial about being sick and walking around refusing help. I live in the midatlantic region. I don't know much about support groups(online or local) that I can meet people like me. I am living with these diagnosis, practically untreated trying to survive. I could write a novel on my life. But I wont... at least not today. Until next time..
Hi, so I'm new to the board. My story is basically that I have suffered from anxiety disorders (and what was finally diagnosed as) Bipolar I Disorder for at least half my life. (I'm 30.) I have also struggled with anorexia nervosa since I was a teenager. While I still meet the diagnostic criteria for AN, it is nowhere close to being as severe as it was before the mood disorder (after a decade of trial and error with medication cocktails) was finally brought brought under control. I currently take Lamictal 200 mg, Seroquel XR 800 mg, and Wellbutrin XL 300, which, in combination, have made me the most functional I've ever been in my life
What is NOT under control is my anxiety. I wake up every morning with an overwhelming sense of dread that subsides only a little as the day goes forward. (I have to measure my vitals in the morning for an unrelated illness and my pulse is over 100 from the second I open my eyes.) The most basic interactions with others make me jumpy and, even though I'm usually pretty articulate, I have problems with stuttering and word retrieval around new people (which, of course, makes me more anxious). I do not live an "objectively" stressful life. In fact, I should be LESS anxious than usual right now because my semester just ended. But, frankly, it's made no difference. My brain always finds SOMETHING to worry about.
(Good grief...this has gotten so long. No one is going to read this...)
Perhaps this is a bit naive, but the thought occurred to me yesterday that if I could just manage this anxiety as I do the mood disorder, I could live an almost normal life. The health professionals and even my family seemed to have accepted that I will live a marginal existence given the number of years I've already been ill; the sheer number of psych (for medication overhauls and ECT) and eating disorder hospitalizations; the fact that the only reason I'm really able to work is that I am the office manager at my fiance's office and he obviously allows me to have very flexible hours. (I've even found out by accident that my mother has started a trust fund for me in case I'm unable to support myself after she is gone. Obviously, this is exceptionally generous, but it also made me feel like she's given up on my ever being self-supporting.) But, frankly, I don't want to be complacent, and I don't the people around me to accept my permanent disability as a foregone conclusion.
So back to the point...I don't want to just lie back and accept that my anxiety is going to dictate the rest of my life. At the moment, the only thing that helps is my PRN Klonopin, which I only use when I am complete losing my mind, because I don't want to build a tolerance to it and have it become completely useless.
In case anyone is just skimming this, my question is, "What medications (other than benzos) have you taken that have successfully managed your anxiety (either by itself or as part of a cocktail for comormid conditions)?" I'd also love to hear about your less conventional successes (acupuncture, yoga, etc.). I really feel like this is one of the last pieces of the puzzle, particularly because I feel like my eating disorder is primarily anxiety-driven. Not that it would just go away if I were less anxious but that it would be easier for me to engage in conventional treatments if I weren't for, instance, terrified of treatment professionals.
I see my p-doc tomorrow and I know I should have posted this days ago (but I just made the appointment today) and I was just wondering if there is anything that you would suggest that I mention.
Thank you in an advance to any kind soul who takes the time to read this.