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MIXED land


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Yeah, it's the worst for me too. I hate hate hate it. And recently it has happened a lot. I didn't know what it was at until pdoc suggested it was a mix of mania and depression. And that's really what it is. A depressing mania. Could it get worse? You wanna die and you have all the energy in the world to actually go through with it.

Hopefully now that my Lithium levels are back up it will calm down.

My symptoms would be: Racing thoughts, tingling feeling in my body, negative thoughts, extreme irritability, wanting to die, tons of energy all focused on my negative thoughts, wanting to fight

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I hate mixed too; being so depressed I can't stop weeping and at the same time having enough energy that I feel like I'm going to blast-off like a rocket if I sit still for a minute longer.  Then I get more depressed thinking about how hyper I am.

Tommy

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I think mixed land is where I was living for the last 40 years and I'm just now climbing out and seeing what real life is all about!  What a waste of time.  Too bad I can't have all that energy and be happy about it.  It seems I can only be happy and lazy, or energetic and crazy, depressed and irritable - with a really clean house.

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My symptoms would be: Racing thoughts, tingling feeling in my body, negative thoughts, extreme irritability, wanting to die, tons of energy all focused on my negative thoughts, wanting to fight

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

minus the tingle, thats how i feel right now. i mostly can't stay still, like, there is a dent worn into the carpet in front of my computer, because when i'm in any state, I sit down here, bounce my foot like whoa, and try to zone out. not that it works.

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racing thoughts, feeling like i am on a permanent adrenaline rush, negative thoughts galore on crack, pissed the fuck off, i wish i was dead, too much energy and no way to get it out, anxiety out the ass, if i could just slow down, i would kill myself, emotions way too intense

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oh i can't stand it.  it's like 'i want to die!! grr i hate everyone they should die too!' then 'oh, i want to give everyone a hug!  i'm so blessed to have the life i have!  let's spend money!' then i get this state to where i'm sort of stable and figure out what's going on which i think is REALLY bad, then rinse and repeat.

and yes i am the most suicidal in mixed states.  i can't stand them.  i pop a clonazepam once i figure out what's going on.

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Has anybody found a "cure" for mixed states? And I mean apart from a working mood stabilizer. What do you all use as emergency meds?

For me, Haldol works if the mixed state is more on the manic side and I need to calm the fuck down. If it's really bad though, nothing works except an elephant dose of Xanax to knock me out.

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Has anybody found a "cure" for mixed states? And I mean apart from a working mood stabilizer. What do you all use as emergency meds?

For me, Haldol works if the mixed state is more on the manic side and I need to calm the fuck down. If it's really bad though, nothing works except an elephant dose of Xanax to knock me out.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

a benzo, or trying to sleep.

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Has anybody found a "cure" for mixed states? And I mean apart from a working mood stabilizer. What do you all use as emergency meds?

For me, Haldol works if the mixed state is more on the manic side and I need to calm the fuck down. If it's really bad though, nothing works except an elephant dose of Xanax to knock me out.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Zyprexa is pretty much the standard emergency med for mania and mixed states.  I know you didn't enjoy your experience on Zyprexa, but for a "this has to stop fucking now" moment, it is the best choice, at least for me.  You may be a zombie for a day or two, but that is better than the alternative.  Of course, once it wears off, you are back where you started.

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Well, on my third day of taking my benzos (klonopin) at set times, my anxiety seems somehwat less and it is the biggest manic component of my mixed states.  It ain't doin' sh&t for the depression thoough ;)

Tommy

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Thanks Loon for starting this thread. It's really helpful to hear about everyone's experiences.

I'm a bit spooked about all I'm reading about mixed states and a recent nasty episode I had. I've not been officially dx'd BP, but am suspicious (as is my tdoc) and will bring this up with my pdoc in two weeks. Here are the pertinent details:

--Have taken 40 mg. fluoxetine/day for anxiety/OCD/MDD for 8 years.

--Had experienced some hypomania on trying 80 mg fluoxetine (rec. dose for anxiety) so stepped back.

--Experienced euphoric hypomania for 6 months last spring semester. Stopped taking fluoxetine cold turkey because I felt so damn good.

--Started stressful new summer internship.

--On getting period a few days into internship, experienced out-of-the-blue extreme anxiety (difficult sleep, racing thoughts, hypervigilant, loss of appetite, weight loss, negative thoughts, depressed thoughts) and basically an overall out-of-control awful feeling. Started fluoxetine immediately.

--Extreme anxiety state continues for five months straight without abating until starting 30 mg. buspirone/day.

Since the anxiety (mixed state??) abated, I've had days where I feel as if a euphoric hypomania is coming on, days when I'm so jittery and anxious that I can't focus on work I have to do, and days when I feel just even-keeled. Mostly I've been even.

Has anyone else experienced this train of events or something similar?

--Weasel

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Heya Loon,

Thanks also for starting this thread.  There are a lot of us, it seems, who have mixeds and not just pure "euphoric" manias.

Sounds like there *are* common threads to our mixeds, which is actually reassuring in its own small way.

Mixed for me, which I *used to think* was my personality, no really:

Can't sleep.  Up all night, all day, all night.  Sleeping leads to endless nightmares anyway. 

Too busy to eat, but not getting anything done either. 

Mad as hell, rage rage rage, pretty much at me and everyone, and God help you if you cross my path. 

Thinking too fast to talk, talking too fast to be understood. 

But the thoughts are depressed, dammit, end-of-the-world, crash-the-car-b/c-I-want-to-die-in-a-fiery-collision-and-take-you-all-with-me. 

Then I drink, b/c I think it will help, and it gets worse.

Only had one since on Lamictal, about 2-3 weeks' worth and kind of low-intensity.  For anyone who remembers, I'm pretty sure the timing coincided with some big-gun antibiotics I was taking.  With any kind of luck, I'll see the next one coming.

I'm still getting used to *not* being mixed (1-2 weeks q3-4 months) or deeply depressed (7-8 months/year).

It's been six months.  Almost to the day.

I have no prn's yet.

It feels fragile.

--ncc--

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Mixed is definately the worst. For me it is definately the dark suicidal thoughts combined with the energy to actually do it. That makes it the most dangerous of all phases.

Other symptoms I have: can't sleep and just sit up thinking about how terrible things are or coming up with ways to die, literally pace back and forth for hours, stuff my face full of food (and get even more depressed) and the worst, which comes from the racing thoughts and restless is I just aint comfortable in my own skin. I want to tear it off!

Lovely picture I've painted!

Ameth

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Great topic, Loon.

I'm actually in a mixed-state right now, thanks to my four days on 25mg of Zoloft. Come to think of it, most of my time is spent in mixed states. Yes, I've experienced euphoric hypomania from SSRI's, as well as out of the blue, but 99% of my hypomanias are of the mixed-state variety. (By the way, I'm BP II, so everything is "hypo", right?)

Anyway, for me, it's the worst depression and the worst anxiety happening at the same time. It's feeling too depressed to function, while simultaneouly feeling like I'm going 100mph inside. The energy is dysphoric, though. It's severe anxiety and agitation. I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin. I cry. A lot. I also have trouble sleeping, waking up every few hours in states of panic.

I stopped the Zoloft, but the mixed state is still happening. I see the doctor tomorrow (and he already upped my Trileptal), but out of curiosity, once a mixed state has been triggered, how long does it take to abate? Does it just have a mind of its own?

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...but out of curiosity, once a mixed state has been triggered, how long does it take to abate? Does it just have a mind of its own?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Great question, Jill. I don't know the answer myself. Very interested in hearing what others have to say.
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out of curiosity, once a mixed state has been triggered, how long does it take to abate? Does it just have a mind of its own?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes it does, and it is a sadistic mind.  In my experience, it has taken longer and longer to abate every time I have one, usually after the crap that triggered it has been resolved.  Good news, eh?

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being stuck in a mixed state is very scary for me.

i cant stand being in my own skin. i get so agitated that i can stand to be around anyone (and visa versa - i know). 

a good example would be...

i try to tell myself that everything will be okay; why are you such a fucking idiot? EVERYTHING IS FINE!!! not exactly knowing what im trying to talk myself out of...and within moments it switches, and im hoping that if i drive my car off the road i WILL kill myself and wont be that girl who ends up paralyzed for the rest of her life.

....and you know, the other stuff.  uncontrollable crying, always wanting to fight, extreme energy - all MIXED into one.

ive been threatened with lithium (long story - i keep refusing). although, my last uppage of lamictal worked really well. havent had another episode.

yeah - fun times.

:embarassed:

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