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When I'm feelin' good I love the world. Well, mostly. Enough to want to fix everything I think is wrong with it. I've been wondering if my overly effusive passionate desire to make my world a better place is necessarily all bad. Obviously it has down sides (I burn out, I stress out, I come back down, I get frustrated and cry because children die in Africa and rural communities don't exist anymore and damn if I can do anything about it), but do you guys ever think that maybe if other, so called "normal" people cared just a little bit more about things outside their control then maybe little good things would start happening? I'm not asking for big unrealistic sacrifices I'm prone to wishing I could make. Maybe all this overbubbling of love and desire is a really fantastic side effect of sometimes feeling like a freaky stalker/ generally needy and utterly worthless human being? I know I'm making light of serious stuff, but how else am I supposed to live? Sound off please.

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(I burn out, I stress out, I come back down, I get frustrated and cry because children die in Africa and rural communities don't exist anymore and damn if I can do anything about it), but do you guys ever think that maybe if other, so called "normal" people cared just a little bit more about things outside their control then maybe little good things would start happening?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh, GOD yes I agree with you.  I've been thinking alot lately about what exactly is my problem?  I've been diagnosed with anxiety because I'm always angry.  But I'm angry at the state of the world!  Angry that I brought a child into this world!  I'm actually working up the courage to tell my pdoc that I have some kind of failed super-hero complex. 

I have found that volunteering helps a little bit, but I can't do enough and I drive myself into the ground trying.  And then some asshole in an SUV triggers me into a raging fit.  Yes.  I'm always angry that the so-called normal people live in their own little bubble of selfishness.  Don't even get me started on Bush. ;)   :)   :P

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  do you guys ever think that maybe if other, so called "normal" people cared just a little bit more about things outside their control then maybe little good things would start happening?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes. 

And then some asshole in an SUV triggers me into a raging fit.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Fucking die SUV drivers!!! DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE!!!  I'm a little ragey this morning.

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Uhhh...I bought an SUV because my sons are 6'2" and 6'3". I would have happily continued to dirve my Ford Probe hatch back, BUT THEY DIDN'T FIT ANYMORE!!!

I have had had more trouble with drivers in Honda Sedans than SUVs. And what is with people with the Jesus fish on their cars?!?? They are THE WORST!

Anyway, I am done defending the tall people who wont fit in little cars and have to drive something bigger than a postage stamp.

About the caring...I have a BP hubby and an autistic son. My caring time is full-up. As to why things all over the world suck. Well, it sucked before Bush was president, and it will suck after he leaves office. Blaming him (no matter how stupid he is) doesn't get to the real cause.

Remember this little prayer?

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

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whoooaaa,

wifezilla, what you are doing is good and loving and certainly what i'm talking about in broad, general terms! i didn't mean specifics about why the world sucks and i don't have anything against Bush or SUV drivers (not anything relevant here:), although i personally think that people should only use what they need (and i agree an SUV is what you need!). Lol....the Jesus fish people get me, too.

I guess what I'm saying is...can all the excessive emotions associated with borderline-ness translate into something good in terms of idealism and motivation to do good things for the world? This is one way I think being too affected by the bad things that happen is a good thing. We can use it. I think a lot of the time I forget that I'm not just an essentially bad or selfish person...I wouldn't get upset about stuff if I was. Of course, I have to be careful not to get caught up in my desire to do too much or too many things and focus on what I can handle to avoid frustration that leads to more emotional implosion.

The serenity prayer is nice, but I'm not

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"can all the excessive emotions associated with borderline-ness translate into something good in terms of idealism and motivation to do good things for the world?"

OH! Now I see where you are going. Yeah, energy can be channeled a number of ways...emotional or otherwise. If you can't control that it is going to be there, it would be a good idea to at least be able to point it in a good direction.

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I guess I didn't understand where you were going with your line of thought the first time I responded. 

I haven't been dx'ed as BP, just anxiety, but the symptom lists are pretty similar between anxiety and BPII.  I don't experience a huge manic state or severe depression, just really quick moodswings between silly/joyful and extremely angry.  And typically when I'm really, really, super angry it has to do with the state of the world, which is why I responded. 

I do try to channel my energy into doing something helpful.  And after my last post on this thread I did manage to talk to my pdoc about feeling like a failed super hero because I can't do enough to feel good about my place in this world.  She asked what I've done and it was embarrasing but I listed off several things and she said to just keep doing what I'm doing and it's wonderful that I have a calling that I'm answering to.  That kind of stunned me.  I didn't think of it as a "calling" and though it calls to me, I often feel like I don't respond enough.  And like Dreaminagian said, I have to be careful to stay focused on what I can handle or it leads to an emotional implosion.  I'd say I suffer from frequent emotional implosions.  So yeah, whatever your dx is, the answer to:

"can all the excessive emotions associated with borderline-ness translate into something good in terms of idealism and motivation to do good things for the world?"

is yes.  Absolutely.

And wifezilla, I know there are SUV drivers who have good reason to drive one.  I just get frustrated with the "cool factor" that they have.  Maybe it's a local thing, but there are so many young people who behave exactly like the Honda drivers your talking about.  They trick out their SUV and get huge sound systems and extra dark tinted windows and drive too fast and dangerously and pollute my little world in so many ways.  But that certainly isn't every SUV owner, you're right.

;) ommm <practicing being less judgemental>

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"I just get frustrated with the "cool factor" that they have."

I used to work for this tiny wench with a Napolean complex. To compensate for the fact that she was only 5' tall, she went out and bought a Chevy Suburban. She had one...ONE...child. The stupid bitch could barely see over the steering wheel. I would have loved to tell her that being short and small wasn't her problem and buying a big car is not going to make up for the fact that she was stupid and evil.

Anyway....as to how to channel all this energy. I guess it would depend on how well you do amoung other people or if you work better independently.

One thing I recently learned about was charity knitting. I am in to knitting looms and like to loom while I watch TV. Since my family only needs so many hats and scarfs...I had to find other things to knit without making everyone nuts! Anyway, there is a program where you knit hand and foot covers for soldiers who get medivaced from Iraq to Germany. Apparently those helicopters don't have heat in the little patient pods. The mormon church also has charity knitting programs...from hats for preemies to leprocy bandages.

Another CB poster has a thread about her new volunteer position at an animal shelter.

There are 2 specifics...if I think of more (after caffine) I will post later ;)

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