i've been having this thing where my eating disorder and adhd kind of combine forces: i'll take 10mg ritalin LA (+150mg bupropion) in the morning, not feel hungry all day, then when it wears off and i get hungry again i overeat, feel guilty, and struggle not to vom. tbh even if it's a normal amount of food i'll feel bloated and want to vom.
sometimes i'll try to get myself to eat while the medication's still in effect by smoking weed, but i end up b/ping almost 100% of the time. i'm seeing my psychiatrist soon so i'll discuss this with them, but i'm curious if anyone else has had these experiences.
My pdoc and I have finally found something that works for my impulsivity/compulsivity (mainly impulse buying, which I've always had an issue with, but may or may not have been exacerbated by Abilify) and my binge eating: Memantine (Namenda). For those who haven't heard of this medicine, it's an Alzheimer's disease medicine, but it is gaining use in psychiatry for many off-label uses, including binge eating, impulse control disorders, ADHD, etc.
After I was prescribed Abilify almost a year ago, I started piling up some serious credit card debt because I was impulse buying, and soon both my credit cards were beyond their credit limit. I have also dealt with binge eating for several years. My I asked my pdoc about memantine, to see what she thought about it, and if it would be worth trying for these things (I told her about my debt, and she knew about my binge eating, as we have tried several things for it). She agreed to try me on a starting dose of 5 mg 2x/day. I responded very well, as I found myself able to stave off urges to impulse buy a lot easier! I also noticed my appetite has diminished, my binge eating has subsided, and I have lost 10 lb in about the span of a week (which is starting to slow down).
My next visit (my most recent visit), I told her the results, and she agreed to increase to the maintenance dose of 10 mg 2x/day, and I'm noticing the therapeutic effects are markedly increased. Next time I see her, I may consider switching to Namenda XR, which has a dose of 27 mg, which is taken just once a day.
I figured I would write this post in case anyone who is dealing with these issues and might be searching for any answers.
I don't know why but after not really struggling with binging and purging for several years (9) I seem to be picking it up again. I told my psychiatrist and he recommended a place that has services for people with eating disorders but I feel like they'd not believe me that I have a problem because I'm overweight or they would judge. I'm scared my teeth will be ruined because it's hard not to whenever I binge. Seems like I almost-impulsively plan to binge hours in advance.
I know the title sounds a little silly but let me explain (buckle up this is going to be a long one)
As a person that has struggled with heavy eating disorder tendencies for over 6 years now, you would think that I would have this all figured out by now... But that just isn't the case. It kinda just crept up on me when I was 10 and it never went away. I can't exactly pin how it started or why (otherwise it would be easier to treat it. Go figure) however, I never actively thought, "I want to skip meals and be thin". It just became a habit, one that I just can't break despite my best efforts. Its not that I don't want people to know because I dont want them to stop me, its mostly because I'm ashamed that my life has come to this. I am a very happy person that is friends with everyone and just wants the best for people. I just don't want this to change the way they see me. Such a strong and nice person being controlled by some thing so awful. Besides, there is a lot going on in my home life anyway and I dont want to add this on top of it all.
I know a lot of people say that "biology eventually rules out" and "you're setting yourself up for a binge the more you don't eat" I wish it were like that for me. I don't even have to think about it and I end up not eating for at least 3 days to sometimes a week at a time. And the few times that I do eat I just end up throwing it up anyway. Everything just feels so dull and repetitive that I don't even notice. I actively try to eat. But I keep falling back into the same behavior I don't want to die but I don't want to keep living this way. What should I do?