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So I've been lurking about the board for a few weeks, posting a couple of times. I first read about CrazyBoards in that New York Times article -- I have to have my daily dose of the Times -- and thought I'd check out the board.

Every few years, I lose it, it being my ability to deal with the outside world. It happened when I was in grad school in 1992. it happened last year while I was undergoing treatment for Hepatitis C, it's happened to lesser degrees at other times. I've had various diagnoses over the years: depression, PTSD, anxiety disorders, a few more. Various treatments, too: medications, psychotherapy, intensive cognitive-behavioral treatment, a group for male survivors of sexual abuse. The meds include antidepressants, anxiolytics, antipsychotics, homeopathic remedies; the current cocktail is in my sig. I self-medicated for several years with opiates, benzos and every other street drug I could get my hands on, and I've been clean and sober for 20+ years now (it wasn't until I'd been clean for a number of years that I began falling apart emotionally).

I could write more, but I'm trying to keep it brief. Right now, I'm dealing with fallout from PTSD. I've had a great, trustworthy tdoc for a while now, and we both agree that trauma is at the heart of my struggles. I'm going to be doing EMDR in the near future and possibly doing some somatic experiencing work as well. My meds don't seem to be doing much for me; I have an appointment with my pdoc next week.

Lots going on, and not much fun in any of it. My wife is very supportive, but she has her own demons to deal with. I'm glad to find this board. Thanks for being here (oh, and thanks to the Times, too).

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