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I need advice (again)


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So, here lately I have been going through some *CRAP* again and I have noticed myself drinking every day now (again).  I know obviously I shouldn't be drinking but I doesn't seem to be that easy.  I saw a therapist last semester and she really help me.  While technically I am taking crazy meds again (when I think about it which really isn't that often considering I find myself in constant withdrawl), I feel like I need something more.  Would I seem desperite or like a pansy if I went and saw her again.  While I still think I am way better off than what I was last semester, I don't want to slip back into the way I was.  It was so bad that I almost died (on several occasions).  Please let me know what you think.  You guys know I make sucky decisions on my own!

Amy

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While technically I am taking crazy meds again (when I think about it which really isn't that often considering I find myself in constant withdrawl), I feel like I need something more.

OK, I am confused here. You have as your sig line that you are "back on Zoloft". Are you taking as prescribed?

Would I seem desperate or like a pansy if I went and saw her again.

No. You would seem "smart" and "trying to head off anything bad at the pass"

As is often said to me: if you ask for advice, you usually already know the answer. ( I hate it too, but it's true.)

Go see her.

Breeze

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Hi, eyebeamy,

If the therapist helped before, she can probably help again. It is in no way desperate to go back to her. Mental health, and sobriety for that matter, isn't a one shot deal. We all need extra help, encouragement, therapy, medication, whatever it takes. Get the help you need. You don't have to apologize for it.

And from your sig line, you're back on Zoloft. That is an AD that you really have to take e v e r y day. When I've accidently missed a dose of it, I feel like crap for the whole next day. It's hard on your body and hard on your head. It works best when it's at a steady level in your system.

But go see the therapist. It'll be good. You'll be glad.

Greeny

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Could you try setting a timer or an alarm to remind you?  My friend has her cell phone set to go off every day at the only time she can guarantee she'll be awake in order to take her birth control (another important-every-day med).  Could you do something similar?  Could you also maybe be sure to always have extra doses of Zoloft with you, in case you forget at home but remember an hour later?  That's what I do with my meds, in the absence of a portable alarm.  This is important.  There has to be something that'll work for you while you try take responsibility for yourself. 

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Amy:

Don't be afraid to go back for help---and try to adhere to a regular med schedule for your own good. If you are going to drink, try to practice harm reduction---see www.moderation.org (or pm me if you'd like to talk about drinking issues).

diane

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Prevention is the best cure, you knew yourself best, and if you suspect that you need more support then you go get it, that is a responsible and mentally healthy to do, no shame in that. As for the meds, you need to work out a way of taking them regularly. Could a friend remind you? Or could you set a reminder on your cell phone, or alarm? Maybe if you kept them by your toothbrush or your jewelery you'd see them and remember? They are really important to take, they're affecting the chemical levels in your brain and misusing them will be doing damage, so it's really key to start this. The drinking is a problem, but until you begin to seek counselling and get your meds sorted you will feel like drinking, so work on those two first.

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I set a daily alarm on my PDA last night for this morning and when it went off I knew exactly what it ment and I automatically went for the meds.  Seems easy, I think I will stick with it.  I think I will go by and chat with a therapist today.  I see the ones on my campus and you just have to go in and say "I need to talk" and they will find a therapist for you.  Thanks for everyones help, I knew I could count on ya'll.

Amy

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I set a daily alarm on my PDA last night for this morning and when it went off I knew exactly what it ment and I automatically went for the meds.

I don't usually need the reminder, but I've done the same thing for both of my mid-day med doses. I've found it very helpful.

I think I will go by and chat with a therapist today.  I see the ones on my campus and you just have to go in and say "I need to talk" and they will find a therapist for you.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yay! I hope it goes well.

Fiona

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Late to the thread but I am glad to hear you are going back to talk with a therapist. Having to go back is not a sign of weakness but an indication of strength, wanting to stay healthy, and taking an active part in remaining healthy.

And again, yep missing just one dose can make you feel like crap physically and mentally, and lead to unnecessary rebounds in depression. Good to hear you have found a reminder system that is easy and works for you.

Erika

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Is there a reason why you didn't go this time?  Would it help to bring a friend or someone you trust with you to your first session this time around?  What do you think might help you show up?

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Is it possible that you didn't go today because you know that the therapist would tell you to stop drinking and you're just not ready to give it up yet?

I went back to therapy after a year break and I felt the same way way you did. I thought I was weak for needed help again. It was so hard to make the call. I was doing so well for so long and then I found myself slipping back into old patterns and I had developed an addiction to pain pills. I finally called and it was such a relief. I basically told him everything on the phone before my appt. so it wasn't so bad. The first thing he said to me was "I'm so glad you had the courage to call me and thank you for trusting my secret (addiction)". He told me to not feel bad about coming back and to think of it as preventive maintenance. I know how it feels inside to know what you are doing is wrong and what makes it even worse is that we know what we need to do to fix it. If you don't go soon it might cause you to spiral deeper. Good luck.

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Death by chocolate? 

I don't know.  It sounds like you're wired and anxious and scared, and though there are ways to deal with that, the specific externals don't matter a whole lot, only your internal state of mind.  So I don't know what to say here. 

Your immediate outside problem is getting yourself to go to therapy, right?  And your main obstacles are anxiety and fear?  Figuring out exactly why you are afraid, down to the nuts and bolts and finishing nails, if necessary, can help deal with the fear part of the equation, because then you can tackle or counter each little piece.  It's a lot easier to assault a single idea than an entire psychological construct.  Write things down.  Maybe it'll help.  Anxiety can be tackled in a similar way. 

Undoing your physical fear responses and anxiety responses can also help you feel less afraid and anxious.  What's your breathing like?  Breathe very deeply (ALL the way in, ALL the way out) slowly a few times, to cleanse.  After this, check that your breathing is regular and even, not too shallow or too fast.  Getting enough oxygen is important.  Force your body to relax.  Do you have a lot of tension in your ankles?  Relax.  Do you clench your butt?  Relax.  Are you huddled over?  Straighten up comfortably.  Do you clench your jaw?  Relax.  Go through all your body parts, and make them be calm.  This can help you get a grip on your mind.  It should at least help your body feel less stressed. 

Call your therapist.  Explain the problems you've been having.  Make a new appointment.  It is completely okay to be a blathering anxious wreck in therapy.  The therapist's job is to help wrecks unravel and reweave themselves into functional people.  No matter how bad a state you're in, it's still worthwhile to go.  You are the therapist's raw material.  They choose this job knowing they will be seeing a lot of people in bad states.  Your therapist willingly chose to see you. 

If things don't work out with this therapist, you can ask for a referral, but give things a chance.  Relax as much as you can.  Go.  If you have to bawl the entire time you're there, it's fine.  If you're angry while you're there (as long as you don't make yourself a threat), it's fine. 

Does any of that help? 

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Heya Amy,

For sure go to therapy.  Do whatever it takes.

It's not weird, it's good.

The fact that alcohol is a medication for you means you need some more real medication and/or therapy.

I'm scared to make an appointment right now.  But I'm working on it.

You and me will do it, b/c we need to.  Need to, like we need to breathe.

--ncc--

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