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Don't think I will make it through work today


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I have three hours to go at work, but I am fighting the urge to run out of here.

Feeling cycle:  fear, doubt, hate myself, I am a weak person, freak...breathe...everything will be fine...just leave.  Boss isn't happy with my performace of late anyway.  Girl friend is having a flare up of her lupus.  Can't kill myself, got to take care of her.  Need to hide in my house...read some ancient history, but I will just think about how much I suck as an employee.

Just finished a quick ramp down of Cymbalta...now taking Lexapro.

Will hate myself if I leave now; too much important stuff to do.

Run Lola run; Run Lola run.

2utopian

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I have three hours to go at work, but I am fighting the urge to run out of here.

Feeling cycle:  fear, doubt, hate myself, I am a weak person, freak...breathe...everything will be fine...just leave.  Boss isn't happy with my performace of late anyway.  Girl friend is having a flare up of her lupus.  Can't kill myself, got to take care of her.  Need to hide in my house...read some ancient history, but I will just think about how much I suck as an employee.

Just finished a quick ramp down of Cymbalta...now taking Lexapro.

Will hate myself if I leave now; too much important stuff to do.

Run Lola run; Run Lola run.

2utopian

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well... now it's even less time to go.

I don't know why you think you are a weak person. I don't know anything about you, but so often we are so hard on ourselves and judge ourselves too harshly for things that are easily fixed and/or really very understandable.  Especially when depressed or stressed.

Instead of focusing on why your boss may be unhappy with you, maybe you can turn it around- think about the things you do well. Even if it is small things. And build on that. Then, what else could you do well in the future?

Write it out if you need to. It's more productive than beating yourself up, and it may give you some sort of plan.

But if you do feel like you are having a hard time concentrating at work- it sounds like you are at least a little 'down' if not depressed, which  can add to concentration difficulties. Plus if your girlfriend is sick, it is understandable that you might be distracted by that.

I don't know how else to help you through this day other than to say that if you get stuck in a loop of negative thinking- try going for a walk for a couple minutes, get some water, change your environment for just a small amount of time if you can.

Not too long until the end of the day.

Hope your last couple hours ease up.

~navy~

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Thanks guys.

Still here.  Too nervous to call the people I am supposed to.  Took 1mg if Klonopin.  Breathing more easily.  God, I am going to have to do this tomorrow!

Dx: Chronic Depression (did not leave my brother's basement for two years), agoraphobia and PTSD.

tdoc and pdoc therapy since 1996.

Rx: Lexapro 20mg. a day (started on Tuesday), 1mg. Klonopin/three times a day, Wellbutrin 200 mg. twice a day, Ambien and Temazapam.

Ex-Rx: Paxil, Prosac, Serzone, Trazadone, Lithium, Effexor, Cymbalta and others.

 

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I researched some stuff this past weekend and found that i identified with being a highly sensitive person(introvert), maybe these tings will help sooth u.

its from this website 

www.hspsurvival.com

How to Create Enjoyable and Relaxing Work for the Highly Sensitive Person

2. Listen to background music that is calming and maintain proper air circulation and temperature.

3. Gaze at pictures of natural settings; bring flowers and plants to work.

4. Have juice or herb tea and healthy snack foods available as well as uplifting magazines or articles for your clients or employees to read.

5. Have a comfortable chair to sit on. If you are sitting all day at work, periodically perform stretches and take short walks.

6. Throughout the day do some slow abdominal breathing exercises and take short meditation breaks.

8. Explore changes in your job schedule such as beginning work later, working from home or reducing your hours.

9. Create a daily work schedule each morning to plan a pressure-free day.

10. If you are working in a very stressful job that cannot be modified, examine your beliefs and values as to why you continue to work in a difficult situation.

11. Investigate new job possibilities that are well suited for your sensitivity.

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how did u get locked in? I also bought some noise canceling headphones so I wont hear the other cackling ladies in the cubicle farm

Also if telecommuting is an option u may want to ask for short term disability where you can work part-time or have them accomodate you so u can work from home due to illness

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I work for my brother; it is his company.  He has been very understanding, but I feel like I am failing him.  I am locked because until we sell the company I will not get my part of the sale.  It is a fortunate position to be in, but it takes all my spirit away.

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