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Trying not to relapse


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I've been clean since my last slip up in November, before that I can't remember when I did it, it was over 6 months. Today I'm feeling super on edge and I keep thinking about hurting myself. I'm trying not to, but I feel like it might help. I don't know who to turn to, my boyfriend is away and nobody else knows about it, except my ex, and well, I don't want to go there. I'm trying so hard to fight the urge to do it. The last relapse was the worst I've ever done it and it scared the shit out of me, I guess not for long..

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Thank you for both of your replies. I haven't given in yet. The urges are still really strong today, I'm just trying not to do it. I know relapses happen, but I don't want it too. I know it will help, that's the problem, because it has always helped me. I'm just trying to distract myself. Also haven't told my bf, I know he would be sad of me even thinking about doing it.

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Good on you. You must be tired from urge surfing.

If it's too hard to tell your bf directly, would it be possible to ask for more snuggles or whatever would feel better? (oh wait... srry... you said he wasn't around)

How about spending time in a public place where you're less likely to self harm?

Any other thoughts about what you can do to put distance between thought and action? Like ditching your whatever-you-self-harm-with? Asking someone else to hang onto it for you for a while? wrapping it up in layers of duct tape? Locking it in the car trunk? Freezing it in a block of ice?

 

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Yes, I've been horrible today. Just overall in a horrible mood. My boyfriend wasn't around yesterday but he is today. He noticed that something was up with me, but I don't think he knows why I was in such a bad mood. I don't think he thinks I'm on the verge of relapsing whenever I'm feeling so bad. He has been giving me lots of snuggles yes. It has helped a bit, I also tried the alternative of snapping a rubber band on my wrist and it has helped as well. I was really close to relapsing earlier, but somehow I managed to convince myself not to do it.

i haven't thought of freezing the tools, that's a really good idea. I think the best for me to just get rid of them, you know to keep it put of sight and out of mind. But it's really hard. 

I think I'm safe for one mote night from relapsing.

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You are doing a great job at resisting! That is so hard to do. Is there anything you can do that is fun, relaxing or enjoyable?  I know it can be hard to even think of something like that when you feel horrible, let alone actually enjoy it.  But that sometimes helps me.  I try to do things like eating icecream, shopping, or doing crafts.  Thinking of you. 

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I have resisted it so far. I can't think of the last time it was this hard to do it. I have kept myself really busy these past few days, so I think this really helped me. 

Thank you Distant Rabbit, I try to stay away from shopping when I'm feeling down because then I tend to spend money on things I don't need ?

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