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dammit, cut the first time in a long time lastnite


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I cut for the first time last night since like september. not very much, and not very deep, but dammit why did I let myself give in. had a bad argument with the husband following a bad week and I just had a small episode of hating myself.

;)

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I understand about the hating oneself-- I'd say worry less about "giving in" after a bad week and a bad experience; what's done in the heat of passion is not such a thing to be sweated (depending, of course, on how bad it was, but this was not such a bad thing imo).  As long as a slip does not become a slide, there's little to be overly upset about, and certainly not to the point OF making a slip into a slide.

I slipped up myself last week, but I'm focusing more on the reasons for the slip, not the slip itself.  Like you, I had a bad week (well, more than that, but still) and then some other really bad shit, and well, it just happened.  Crime of oppurtunity sort of thing.

And i know, so long as I can either prevent or constructively handle, the things that led up to it, then I will have no problems. I'm sure you'll do fine and that this is a minor slip, and nothing to flagellate yourself over.  (no mental SI either girl!)

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;)

sorry i did

but i refuse to feel bad about it.

i tried a lot of stuff alternatively, but i gave in.

i'm ok

i'm just trying to deal

but no mental.. im wondering how that could even be possble. how that is. i do believe it IS possble.  :)

pj

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I cut for the first time last night since like september. not very much, and not very deep, but dammit why did I let myself give in. had a bad argument with the husband following a bad week and I just had a small episode of hating myself.

;)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

im sorry you had a bad week, halogirl66.... try not to let this get to you too much.  just bc you slipped up, does not mean that all of the work you have done means nothing.  you have to try to find an alternative way to deal with what is going on and then continue on the path you were going.  we all slip up.... we are only human.... but we cant let every little mistake we make bring us down... Not cutting since september is an amazing accomplishment and there is nothing that can take that away from you.....just remember that....

xo

~Ophelia~

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((hugs))

sounds like a combination of everything upped the stress in your mind so that it felt overwhelming and so you reverted to a previous coping mechanism, the SI.

A couple of weeks ago I SI'd after a few months of being free, in a therapy session as it happened (not cutting though) and I actually learnt a lot from this slip up, more than I would have done had I not had it, if that makes sense?

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  • 2 weeks later...

thanks evryone. I haven't done it again, I wanted to, but I didn.t so I am hanging in there.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i've had alot of temptation lately.  but i have resisted so far.  you can too.

we are all here for you!!

_jen

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I gave in again, the night before last AND the night before that. So I took an emergency trip the to pdoc yesterday and he changed up my meds. i feel bad for slipping up, but what feels worse is having to try and hide it from my hubby and friends so that don't worry about me.

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