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I am having so bad adrenaline rushes from PTSD and then downs my pdoc said something about being manic.

 

HHe said something about lithium. He doesn-t want to try clonidine.... that reduces adreanline.

I want to kill everyone, then the next minute kill myself, then I am just crying and can-t sleep even if I have taken today a total of 6mg klonopin and 4mg xanax,

 

I waas thinking on clonidin, carbamazepine, .... what do you thiink

 

lithhium or carbammazepine

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Just now, Iceberg said:

I think you might need a hospital 

My pdoc told me to don't go since they ddon't know how o tre a t someone with PTSD a nd a lw a s trigger me a nd m a kes me feel worse.

Just now, The Hitcher said:

I took carbamazepine for a little while and it didn't do much for me. Lithium was much more beneficial for the mania, and lamotigine for the depression. The combo has worked pretty well for me over the past few years.

I a m a fr a id of lithium fucking up my kidneys a nd tiroid

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3 minutes ago, OliverB said:

I a m a fr a id of lithium fucking up my kidneys a nd tiroid

Sure, it's a possibility that it might happen, but incredibly low chances of those side effects. Besides, if you got those symptoms they'd take you off it and try something else, like lamotrigine that I mentioned earlier.

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Just now, The Hitcher said:

Sure, it's a possibility that it might happen, but incredibly low chances of those side effects. Besides, if you got those symptoms they'd take you off it and try something else, like lamotrigine that I mentioned earlier.

I took it a nd didn't work. Myy m a in problem is a git a tion

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Just now, OliverB said:

I took it a nd didn't work. Myy m a in problem is a git a tion

Then I'd give the lithium a whirl. I've been on it for years with no side effects. I know it's not aa given that you won't experience them but it has to be worth a try if it makes you health(ier).

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Just now, The Hitcher said:

Then I'd give the lithium a whirl. I've been on it for years with no side effects. I know it's not aa given that you won't experience them but it has to be worth a try if it makes you health(ier).

Does it st a rt to work quickly or it t a kes time?

I TOOK 5mg more of clonazepam and 2mg of lormetazepam for sleep

 

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Just now, The Hitcher said:

You have to wait for the levels to build up in your system. Took me a week or two if I remember rightly.

So will I be a week or two like this? I am gonna die first ... I cant stand it

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Just now, Iceberg said:

Is nobody alarmed by these benzo doses? 

Let see

 

During the day:

6mg klonopin

4mg xanax

When trying to sleep:

2mg lormetazepam

Some minutes ago, here it is 12:35 am:

5mg Klonooin and 2mg xanax and 2mg lormetazepam and melatonin

 

So today

11mg klonoin, 6mg xanax and 4 lormetazepam

 

It is high but not that dangerous

I am still racing.

 

...

I will try to sleep.

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7 minutes ago, OliverB said:

So will I be a week or two like this? I am gonna die first ... I cant stand it

There's no way around getting it to start earlier I'm afraid. It's not effective until until your blood level is up to the required dose. Jeezus you are taking a lot of benzos, I take it you're self-medicating and this is not prescribed?

 

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I'm sorry you aren't doing well right now.  I'm not in a mixed episode, but I can empathize with the agitation and how hard it is to deal with without "jumping out of your skin."  I have had so much agitation and irritability in me lately that pdoc increased my klonopin dose today. 

I really hope you can find a med to help.  I understand your concerns about lithium.  I've taken carbamazepine before but IIRC it didn't help much with my mood.  I was taking it for seizure activity at the time, and it did help that though.

Have you taken the klonopin with food in your stomach?  I remember when I was on the pill form you swallow (now on the disintegrating pill) it didn't work well for me unless I had eaten food before taking it.  I felt like it worked faster for me with the food in me first.

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1 minute ago, Iceberg said:

It means you need real, immediate treatment. Those benzos are masking real serous issues. No doc would ever prescribe that much 

I think you need immediate treatment too ... if you went to the hospital, does your pdoc work alongside the pdocs there? 

 

36 minutes ago, OliverB said:

My pdoc told me to don't go since they ddon't know how o tre a t someone with PTSD a nd a lw a s trigger me a nd m a kes me feel worse.

If your pdoc told you not to go to the hospital, how does he plan on helping you on an out-patient basis?

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Lithium is generally tried first, at least where I live. It has the most evidence saying it works, of any BP med. I don't have any side effects. It is a powerful med but never made me feel dulled or numb the way some meds can. I highly recommend it. I haven't tried carbamazepine. 

Hospitalisation could be a lot of help if you are wildly unstable and at risk of suicide or not taking care of yourself. They do treat PTSD, but even if they didn't, bipolar disorder is one of the main conditions treated there. 

Edited by mcjimjam
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Just now, rainyday107 said:

I'd go to the hospital now and they can stabilize you on new meds there, get you calm, safe environment, etc. Take care. 

They are not safe and make me more unstable by trigger my PTSD. The environment is threatening for me... That is why my pdoc told me to don't go unless he sends me there. My ex pdoc who worked there and I saw him outpatient and a couple of times when I was IP, told me he wants me far from the hospital since the environment wouldd make me sicker. They considered it so seriously when I was IP they sent me to the unit for minors, people up to 17 years old an generallly also 18 even if I was 19 because I was non aggressive, calm, ... and I needed an environment like that, calm and we a lot of attention. There were 3 rrooms with  6 beds, and we were 3 people in total, 16years old and 13years old, then someone who was 17 years old joined us. People from 16 to 18 who are aggressive or cause troubles are sent to the adult uniit.

In the adult unit there are a lot of people who go there because they did a lot of drugs on Friday or Thursday -They college party day here- and they had a bad trip, so they are holded the hole week.

Nurses barely talk to you. Half of doctors are paternarlist and threaten you at the minimal thing you want to discuss because you have another point of view, this triggers me a lot and put me in fight mode (a year ago I tend to freeze or hide), which cause them to be more aggresive and therefore me being more. I was IP twice when I had a mixed episode weeks ago. I think it never ended but when I was put on pregabalin in the beginning it caused me so much dissociative effects I felt good and it maskered the mixed episode. While IP the first time they didn't believe I was in danger, thought I had a personality disorder and discharged me in 12h. Second time I tried to explain them I have PTSD and all the things but the doctor threaten me anyway, I got into fighting mode, confronted him, it got worse, and after he left I asked another pdoc to be voluntary released. My pdoc was on vacation by then.

I have the Compex PTSD problem

a dissociative problem

mood problems

psychotic problems

but not personality or behavioural.

When I get into fight/flight/freeze mode, if I am dissociated enough I might forget what I do and stop controlling my body, it something DID-like, thats why I have DDNOS.

Being triggered into fight more makes mania an mixed episode worse

Being triggered into flight mode makes depression worse.

Being triggered into freeze mode makes psychosis worse.

Just now, mcjimjam said:

Lithium is generally tried first, at least where I live. It has the most evidence saying it works, of any BP med. I don't have any side effects. It is a powerful med but never made me feel dulled or numb the way some meds can. I highly recommend it. I haven't tried carbamazepine. 

Hospitalisation could be a lot of help if you are wildly unstable and at risk of suicide or not taking care of yourself. They do treat PTSD, but even if they didn't, bipolar disorder is one of the main conditions treated there. 

Thank you for the input. The problem is the dysphoric mania is thought to be caused by adrenaline rush and then downs, with a PTSD background. That's why I wanted clonidine, an anti-adrenergic drug to stop the cycle. It looked like ultraradian cycle of mania and depression until it was added pregabalin that killed the depression (sadnes), but between the dysphoric mania I have suicidal urges because of agitation even if I actually am not sad. My pdoc thinks there are causes mainly caused by environment, mainly by biology and an equal mix. But he said I looked manic two days ago and let me go with clonazepam and pregabalin. It is a "pseudo bipolar disorder" if you believe it only can be organic, but the symptoms I was having are the same. Now I have taken so much clonazepam my head is dizzy and I don't feel agitated and probably won't for few hours, but then again...

Just now, melissaw72 said:

I think you need immediate treatment too ... if you went to the hospital, does your pdoc work alongside the pdocs there? 

 

If your pdoc told you not to go to the hospital, how does he plan on helping you on an out-patient basis?

They talk but mostly doctors form the hospital do what they want. They usually think I have a personality disorder while my pdoc has told them and told me a TON of time I don't. The problem is I was so abused when I expressed any feeling that now I tend to freeze when I am so agitated I can't stop myself. So in the end they see someone who claims to be unwell but does nothing.

My pdoc works in a day hospital.

Just now, Iceberg said:

It means you need real, immediate treatment. Those benzos are masking real serous issues. No doc would ever prescribe that much 

I know. I know the dosage I am taking it is for serous seiz..ures that don't stop. But the maximum it is 20mg, so until that I am safe. It is masking the agitation but it was 12:00 am I have nobody and I was out of control. I will talk with my pdoc today

Just now, melissaw72 said:

I'm sorry you aren't doing well right now.  I'm not in a mixed episode, but I can empathize with the agitation and how hard it is to deal with without "jumping out of your skin."  I have had so much agitation and irritability in me lately that pdoc increased my klonopin dose today. 

I really hope you can find a med to help.  I understand your concerns about lithium.  I've taken carbamazepine before but IIRC it didn't help much with my mood.  I was taking it for seizure activity at the time, and it did help that though.

Have you taken the klonopin with food in your stomach?  I remember when I was on the pill form you swallow (now on the disintegrating pill) it didn't work well for me unless I had eaten food before taking it.  I felt like it worked faster for me with the food in me first.

I don¡'t remember if I ate before taking them, I don't remember if I did it at all yesteerda....

It seems lithium tend to works better, I will ask for it

Just now, The Hitcher said:

There's no way around getting it to start earlier I'm afraid. It's not effective until until your blood level is up to the required dose. Jeezus you are taking a lot of benzos, I take it you're self-medicating and this is not prescribed?

 

They are prescribed, 0.5mg if I have a crisis up to 4 times a day.... 2mg being the maxium

Edited by OliverB
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