So, I found out recently that my diagnosis had changed from Bipolar 1 to Schizoaffective Disorder: Bipolar Type. This diagnoses switch was done 2 YEARS ago and nobody told me. Sure, my Pdoc at the time said it might be a possibility, but I was really upset that no one bothered to clue me in. Anyway. The thing is, I've been shuffled around through so many Pdocs and psychiatric nurse practitioners and I have never told them my whole story.
My first ever Pdoc asked if I ever had any psychotic symptoms. I said that I would hear my name being called, and before I could say anything else, they laughed me off saying that everyone experiences that. So, being the shy person I am, I thought that I was being silly and never mentioned it again. My last Pdoc, I tried to be more open with and told them about some hallucinations/paranoid thoughts I had...hence change in diagnosis.
Now I am with a new provider whom I don't trust at all. They don't seem to know how to manage me at all, and every session seems to be more and more a waste of time. I am currently switching to another provider, but it will take a bit before I can go. I'm a little nervous because I've tried so many anti psychotics, and am currently not taking one. Sorry, the point is I am planning to give my therapist all the details about things that have been going on for years. Stuff I never had the guts to say, because I know they will listen to me. I am just afraid that since I never said anything to my new provider (or even in the past) my future provider might think that I am making it up since I found out about my new diagnosis. Maybe I'm overthinking things. I don't know. But the only people on my support team that I trust are my family and my therapist.
Sorry if this is a bit of a ramble. I've been in a bad state the last few days and this has been edited and re-edited for your perusal. If there is anyone out there with the same disorder, or just someone with advice, please help me! There is so little info on Schizoaffective disorder, that I would really like to hear from others, maybe hear some coping skills? Everyone is different, but I am open to anything at this moment. Falling asleep last night was hell. My mind was racing all over the place, with layers of thought over layers of thought. I have to sleep with a light now, because shadows will creep the hell out of me. I have poor memory and forget words/mis-say them. My concentration is shot. I lash out in anger and always have this simmering irritability underneath. I'm starting to get the feeling that something is watching me again.
Hey yall I wanted to get some better insight on a situation. I am set to see a therapist in a few weeks, I just wanted to see if I was overthinking the situation or how I should try to cope with it better.
My fiance and I live together with my parents under the same roof. My fiance goes to grad school and I study at home and volunteer to build my career. In the past, my fiance and my folks got along really well together and are friends. Lately though it seems like they are being more critical of my fiance. After thinking about it, I am beginning to think that it is mostly my parents being a bit possessive of me and clingy.
My sister is an actress and is in a lot of stage plays every couple of months. I'm not that into theater, but I don't have a problem going to see my sister with my folks. My fiance however has a really hard time in plays and theater. He has a hard time staying still and is a bit fidgety, which kinda annoys me. He also hates plays, so it's kind of a bad combination. I do not have any problems with him just staying home and me going to see my sister. However, my folks have a big problem with this. They told me that he is unsupportive and would make a bad husband if he doesn't go see all of my sisters plays. After speaking with him about it, my fiance decided to compromise and agreed that he would go see a few plays a year (We go like once every 2-3 months). This, however, isn't good enough for my parents still. My mom since then has suggested that he isn't a good partner for me.
There are also smaller stuff that they complain about. They don't like that he plays video games for more than 2 hours at a time, that he is sexist for asking me to make him scrambled eggs, and that he doesn't go out to dinner with my folks every time (my parents eat out A LOT). The most annoying thing is that I have never at all felt like he is a bad partner!!!! He literally makes my life better, helps out my anxiety, and makes me a better person!!! I seriously think I'm going crazy sometimes because I literally cannot see any problems about what he is doing. If anything, I respect my fiance more because he has handled this gracefully, has been polite and a responsible tenant, and has been super supportive and trusting of me.
The problem is that i have GAD and get really bad obsessive thoughts, which makes me really anxious. I can't stop thinking about my parents hating my fiance. If anything is negatively effecting my relationship at all, its the fact that my parents don't approve of him fully. It just really fucking sucks when someone actively improves your life and your own parents can't see that. I was wondering if anyone had any tips with stopping obsessive thoughts with this situation.
Had a tiny fight with my psychiatrist, he seems to be dobuting my diagnosis. In the hospital they tried to say i was bpd with bipolar, but my psychologist says i cant be bpd and even my psychiatrist used to think im not. I dont have any bpd traits other than emotional inestability. Anyways im mad bc people dobut my psychotic symptoms he thinks is just something from my imagination or something "typical" from me. Im mad bc the new medication is not working and now i have panic attacks i didnt had before. The hospital kinda helped kinda made things worse. I feel like my doctor has left me behind, he doesnt care anymore, if he had answered or seen me 15days before when i asked, before i had my big crisis i wouldnt had ended in hospital. Im scheduling an appointment with a new doctor. But i feel so lost, so sad, like no one can help me, not even doctors. Its not fair. This illness is destroying my life. Has anyone ever had this kind of problems with doctors? Have you had a moment where medication made things worse?
Second post on this forum (woohoo!), but, I was wondering if anyone has any advice for smoothing out a relationship between two bipolar people. My fiance and I have been together for nearly three years now, engaged for almost two of those years, we're both under the age of 25 (but over 18), we live together, and we're both bipolar. She has Type I and I'm just recently diagnosed Type II. Both our diagnosis(es?) have been in the past year, and we've both been trying medicines (her first, then me as my dx came months after); she is presently unmedicated. We both see the same psychologist but different prescribing doctors/GPs. We do not presently do any sort of couples therapy, our therapy sessions are separate and confidential. Our relationship in all it's years has always had very rough spots that we stick out because we genuinely love each other and care for one another, and want to see each other grow/be apart of each other's lives. However, our MIs (bipolar, ptsd, possible schizo-spect disorder on our end) have nearly ripped us apart for good many times. We took an almost month long break after our most recent big falling out, out of desperation to try and amend ourselves and our relationship. Being apart for a bit seemed to help, but we seem to have fallen right back into the "cycle" of our relationship. The extreme highs and lows that are no doubt also attributed to our bipolar. Does any have any words of wisdom or advice to think about/keep in mind when trying to keep the relationship afloat? We genuinely do love and care for one another and want to make what we have at our best work. It just seems to get more and more difficult. Hopefully meds will help even us out, we know we need to work on ourselves to help the relationship.
Anything is much appreciated!
I'm currently having real difficulty at work and with a lot of my other relationships.
The issue is that I'm constantly being talked over and really have to fight to be heard at all.
I stutter slightly so that doesn't help me, and no-one seems to give a fuck most of the time.
At work it is particularly bad because my bosses will start to talk over me before I've finished half a sentence. This is an issue because I work as a software developer and communication is key to getting my job done.
The issue is so bad at work that every Sunday before I go to work I get angry thinking about having to deal with any of them. I feel that part of the issue is discrimination, because of my illness (I regret telling folk at work about it). I don't feel that I can move onto another job because I'm becoming unstable because it is leaving me feeling alienated. Other folk in the office seem to be following the example of what the bosses are doing.
I've tried to tell the bosses that they're doing this, but I'm being largely ignored.
Does anyone have any experience on how to deal with this sort of issue?