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Addicted to hypomania


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I don't know if this is more of a confession or a plea for perspective.

I'm not seeing my pdoc until the 22nd. I've been taking various ADs and Risperdal was added late December. Since early January I've been having three days up, three days down. This pattern was there before the Riperdal but I didn't notice it and didn't have hypomania.

The hypomanic times are generally pretty nice. Almost no anxiety which is very unusual and energy, although still lacking in motivation as I was before Risperdal. I feed the hypomania with coffee. Although the coffee doesn't seem to affect me which is also unusual. (I love drinking coffee when I can.) The down times can be bad for a day or two, but not worse than before Risperdal.

I'm not sure how to present this to my pdoc because I don't want to go off the Risperdal. I'm not going to lie of course but want to tone it down so he doesn't get scared off. I want to keep taking Risperdal or maybe try Abilify along with maybe a mood stabalizer. But I would be sad if the hypomania totally ended.

This is still new to me so I'm just writing thoughts if only for my own benefit but would love to hear what others who are more experienced think.

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i'm not sure what your question is or how the risperdal fits in. are you saying it causes hypomania? how is it helping you at all? if you have specific questions about risperdal, you might get better responses on the AP board. off-hand, aps are usually anti-manics. but you could be having a paradoxical response.

as for hypomania or it's milder healthy form, hyperthymia (it's all a blur), it's only bad if you're having seriously bad consequences. If your depression is bipolar, then yes, you will have to give up mania because they're interrelated.

hope that helps,

7

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I know the feeling. Sometimes I feel like I "deserve" mania (no hypo here, straight mania) because of my depression and suffering...

But the crashes are SO LOW when you do go down. Did you know that the suicide rates for BP1 and BP2 suffers are THE SAME??!! It is because it is so easy to not be afraid of hypo, to go with it, and when the crash comes it smacks like a fist, then it is over...

My dad was BP1 and killed himself when mania crashed into depression. The stuff does kill.

Talk to your pdoc and you may consider Abilify. It keeps me peppy but not hypo and not down. I'm "normally" a peppy, cheery person, so I feel like I have myself back. Who knows? You may find a treasure, like your real self, that you never knew you had!!!

thinking of you,

loon

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Just thought I'd say that I don't think it's abnormal to feel addicted to hypomania. (No idea if this is even a concern, but what the hell, I feel like blabbing on tonight). Unfortunately it's not normal or good- what goes up must come down after all.

I'm so stupid. Whenever I go hypomanic I sort of 'forget' I'm BP, forget that the chances are I'll end up with a full mania or a crash into depression- I just go with it. Love the euphoria, the lack of sleep, the pace of my thoughts, the addition confidence, not being so socially inept..it's great. I get pissed when it ends. Of course it always turns on me and I always end up suicidal or trapped, frightened, paranoid, deluded, psychotic with everything going far too fast.

Just a vague rant, seems it fits here.

Tell your pdoc everything- he needs to know so he can help. Maybe risperdal isn't the right drug. Maybe he can change it to something that'll work better for you and you'll like more.

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i'm not sure what your question is or how the risperdal fits in. are you saying it causes hypomania? how is it helping you at all? if you have specific questions about risperdal, you might get better responses on the AP board. off-hand, aps are usually anti-manics. but you could be having a paradoxical response.

as for hypomania or it's milder healthy form, hyperthymia (it's all a blur), it's only bad if you're having seriously bad consequences. If your depression is bipolar, then yes, you will have to give up mania because they're interrelated.

hope that helps,

7

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think I was BP II all along, but didn't realize it until Risperdal magnified it, and yes causes hypomania. I'm up three days, down three days, so no surprises. I can handle the depression especially since I know it's not going to last more than three days.

Of course, I probably wouldn't have made this post during a depressed time. Some of my down times are more anxious, and some just melancholic. So it's not always terrible depression, although I got my first taste of a mixed state two days ago which wasn't very comfortable.

"Whenever I go hypomanic I sort of 'forget' I'm BP, forget that the chances are I'll end up with a full mania or a crash into depression- I just go with it. Love the euphoria, the lack of sleep, the pace of my thoughts, the addition confidence, not being so socially inept..it's great."

Nice description. Except my ups and downs aren't as severe as most other people.

Thanks for the replies. I'll just tell my doc like it is and let him sort it out.

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dittodittoditto.

It hurts me to even listen to the music I used to listen to when I was hypomanic most of last year.  Again though, I'm probably a little more depressed now (dysthymic if not MD) and I know I'll eventually swing back to YAY (hypomania) mode again. ;-)

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