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I don't know what is going on. I am on SSDI and am working part time as a substitute teachers aide. I am doing a 6 week gig with each day being 4 hrs. Before this the longest I have worked is 2.5 hrs/day for 9 days.

i come home from work and have to go straight to bed. Usually I sleep for about 2 hrs and then begin my day. Friday I didn't lay down till 5pm and didn't wake from a solid sleep till 8am!! I even slept through with no seroquel or trazadone. I don't know if I am physically burnt out or mental.

each day I have to force myself to make it through the day. I try to convince myself that I can make it through the day, through the week and through the remaining 3 weeks. I don't dare call my pdoc and ask for help because I know what he would say. " you are on SSDI for a reason and I am expecting too much of myself". I have added back Clonopin and prolixin cuz I know that is what he would tell me to do.

 

as this an episode coming or is this fatigue( I am on my feet most of the 4hrs).

 

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I can really relate to needing and having to take a nap immediately after a long day. 

When I go out, especially for more than a couple hours, the day is so draining ... just the social aspect of it, interacting with people, and putting on a happy face at times ... that I am wiped out when I get home.  For me, it is pure fatigue and being mentally exhausted.  If I am out for most of the day, by the end of the day I feel like the bed is calling my name as I walk in the door. And all I take is the muscle relaxer because if not I will wake up with a headache.  It varies how long I sleep ... from about 1.5 hours to maybe 3 hours. 

When I wake up I feel so much better, like my head has finally calmed down and clear, I can think straight again. 

IMO and IME it is fatigue, and being mentally wiped out.  And maybe the sleep you need when you get home is needed to give your brain a rest.

Not sure of your diagnosis/es, but for me. I usually dont experience any psychosis with this ... except if I get over-tired and stressed out over the course of a few days ... the more I am, the more likely it is to happen to me.

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I relate to needing to taking a nap occassionally, but if it's a regular pattern and not something I'd normally be engaging in otherwise, then this would be a red flag for me. Keep an eye on it. Maybe talking to a therapist about this could help you what's going on. No matter what it is that you are doing, any foray into working can leave one suddenly exhausted. It doesn't necessarily mean you're unable to ever handle it. But sometimes it helps to figure out where you are at right now so that you can meet yourself there. 

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I have 2 days off before I go back and work till June 1. Yesterday I didn't need a nap! 

I plan on getting all of my asks done so I am not ruminating about them anymore. I figure that will help.

i also check in on a 90 yr old man 3/week. It has become a chore. Originally I was to work till his new house will be built on his daughters land. It was to be ready June 1 but I think it will take longer. I told her yesterday that I could only help her until June 12 as I have class until my class begins and runs late. That will take stress of my life too.

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