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Brokendishes

I think dead people have made me fat

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Not like in, I eat them....but in, i think the grief I have is making me gain weight.

i was ok until my mom died in 2016. I got over my chronic illness and gained back the weight it made me lose. But my mom died in Feb and i packed in a ton of weight. I'm 40lbs past my past-ideal weight, and 20lbs over my pre-illness goal weight where I was a little doughy but not horrible. 

I feel like crap. None of my clothes fit. Tops looks like stuff I'd put on a child, and even my fat-pants I can't shove my fat ass into. I'm wearing my maternity stuff and am worried what kind of dress clothes I can wear because nothing is my new size. It's frustrating. I get dressed, cry, try something else, cry some more and throw something on I'm not happy with but it's on.

i keep feeling like it all goes back to my mom dying. We haven't gotten that far in trauma therapy work though. Childhood was such a horrible disaster it's gonna be a while before we can address recent traumas.

i keep thinking that stupid slogan in my head, it's not what ur eating but what's eating u...i hate it.... I feel like it's gotta b something since my entire family has died off, I've disowned the one half-sister, and even the dog is now dead...that's a lot of shit, especially including bankruptcy, divorce and foreclosure....and job loss. That's a ton of grief! I don't consciously feel it all but maybe it's unconscious???

anybody go through weight issues with grief? 

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A lot of people suffer from emotional eating.  

I eat for emotional reasons more often than not.  I eat when I'm sad, empty, bored, lonely, trapped, angry- even when I'm HAPPY.  

Food is needed to live but it can be abused and used as a drug especially with all the processed, man-made, sugar and fat laiden foods which can sedate us very quickly.  It's an instant fix.  

What helps some people is switching to all Whole Foods like eggs, meats, fish, veggies and fruits instead of pastas, rice, donuts, bologna, hot dogs, sugar and sugar substitutes.  Not only is it healthier but it's supposed to reduce cravings. 

Its really portion control and exercise that make you lose weight.  

Anyways, you are absolutely right about grief making you eat more.  I am assuming that is what you mean. Some people may eat less- others more.  

I'm working on the same issue but I have 200 pounds to lose!

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@Brokendishes

I re-read your entire post and nowhere in there did you say that over-eating is a problem for you.  I wonder of i was wrong in assuming that over-eating was your problem.

So, in order to be a better help I Googled if being sad or depressed can cause weight gain.

What I came across was something about the hormone cortisol which is known as the stress hormone.  The more stress we have, the more cortisol our body releases.  It said that cortisol in and of itself can make it EASIER TO GAIN WEIGHT.  I mean it just does but there's got to be some kind of super scientific mechanism of action.  They said that cortisol usually increases abdominal fat. 

So, if I'm on the right path now, then my advice is to keep talking to your dr and try to discover more ways to reduce stress in your life if at all possible.  

Eating whole foods might also reduce stress because they are easier for the body to process and utilize for energy which in turn makes you feel better overall.  

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ChillPill, I'm not sure of I overeat. I eat all healthy organic crap like kale and have cutout all the processed junk, the only bad thing I do is white sugar and not even the gods themselves can make me give that up.lol I don't seem to eat a lot and I don't snack, Maybe a few crackers at night with some cheese or butter, but not like I used to do....I could eat a stick of butter with anything like toast or something--in one sitting. But that was when I was skinny....

i read about cortisol too but don't know what to do if that's the case....buy those pills u see on tv? It's frustrating because I eat way way healthier than ever in my life but if I work out a lot I'll lose a handful of pounds, but gain it all back if I don't keep it up... i feel like I cut everything as much as I can....like there no way way to lose this weight. It's frustrating cuz it goes to my hips, boobs and butt...and in a ball in my stomach...i look pregnant from the side. If I was fat all over it may make more sense to me but it seems to target those areas...oh plus I've lost two shoe sizes! Wtf?! My body's gone insane.....

i don't feel like I snack absentmindedly...i rarely snack at all, just at bedtime. I agree about emotional eating too because I feel emotional about eating.,,,the taste, the texture, spice....something about whatever I'm eating will be super-appealing but I don't eat mass quantities...but I do notice how I emotionally respond to foods. 

I know I need to be more active for sure, but I wish I knew more about cortisol like if there's herbal teas and stuff that aren't pills that will help? Research mode ???

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Your body's ability to metabolize fructose improves with age. That's a bad thing, and it's one of the reasons why people often get fatter as they age. Other issues revolve around glucose metabolism, which generally gets impaired from the assault of 'empty' foods over time, which causes insulin resistance. Both contribute to diabetes, but especially fructose consumption when combined with glucose consumption. And the more refined, the worse. And if you really want to complete the trifecta, you'll add so-called vegetable oils to the mix (yes, the same ones you've been erroneously told are good for you all these years). 

Drinking is also a major downfall for many (e.g., me). Whether it's alcohol, soft drinks, energy drinks, or fruit juice, you have pretty much the same problems. And artificial sweeteners do not help, contrary to popular belief.

As for physical activity, it has been demonstrated over and over again to be virtually worthless for weight loss on its own. It has been shown to be helpful to keep the weight off, however, and the myriad of health benefits associated with exercise definitely suggests you should partake.

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Spoiler

 

I tried to cutout any fructose and I don't drink, maybe a glass of wine every few months or so. I'd love to start walking and maybe burn off extra calories, but I know I'd have to follow up with firming exercises. Seems like alot of work. I used to eat lousy, not sleep and still be thin and healthy. They need to harness the power of 20-year olds and give it to others cuz I'd love to have the energy I had when I was 20!!

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You lost two shoe sizes...?

Broke, have you been to see a gdoc for a general check-up, with blood work? It would also be a good idea to visit a nutritionist. A nutritionist can help you determine what portion sizes are healthy, and what amounts of protein, carbs, what kinds of fats etc. you need to be eating.

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1 hour ago, Gearhead said:

You lost two shoe sizes...?

Broke, have you been to see a gdoc for a general check-up, with blood work? It would also be a good idea to visit a nutritionist. A nutritionist can help you determine what portion sizes are healthy, and what amounts of protein, carbs, what kinds of fats etc. you need to be eating.

Virtually all nutritionists are WAY behind the times, and virtually all MDs are as well. And trying to dial in the "correct" proportion of macronutrients is often a futile exercise. Most every fat, protein, and carb is unique. They are not interchangeable. Biochemistry/nutrition science is incredibly fascinating and incredibly complex. The people who try to reduce everything to calories or macronutrients are ill-informed. And many of the studies are worthless, because the researchers fail to understand that these various ingredients are not equivalent. Soybean oil, casein, and cellulose is not the same thing as eggs Benedict.

The 'Mediterranean Diet' is a product of fiction that only exists in the imaginations of Americans. Olive oil is not an ancient food; it was only used for anointing until a couple centuries ago or so, when it started to be used for culinary use. And it has no particular health benefits, despite all the hype. It's a great oil, don't get me wrong, but it it's no better than avocado oil, coconut oil, leaf lard, beef tallow, butter, ghee, or schmaltz. And most of the others have superior cooking properties. Also, most so-called olive oil is either fake or adulterated. Real olive that's fresh is very assertive. Very peppery. And the stuff that comes from Italy is just as likely to be fake. It's similar to Parmesan cheese (parm-regg), almost all of which is fake in the US, because our food laws are screwed up. If you tried to sell US "Parmesan" cheese in the EU, you would go to jail.

Anyway, I have gotten off the topic. Most all nutritionists and MDs are hopelessly clueless about nutrition. Follow the modern research. Virtually everything that's been drilled into our heads over the past 5-6 decades or is wrong, and a new generation of researchers have proven it. Everything they told you about fat, saturated fat, cholesterol, and salt is wrong. And statins do not help anyone avoid a heart attack except for middle-aged med who have already had a major cardiac event. And the reason it helps is NOT because it lowers cholesterol, but because it lowers inflammation. The entire basis of the medication is flawed. It's tragic.

We have been lied to for decades, and the truth is finally coming out. Thank goodness. That said, don't believe the low-carb stuff either. There's a very different effect if you eat spaghetti, rice noodles, whole wheat bread, sourdough bread, boiled potatoes, or potato salad. Carbs are not carbs. And fruit and veggies are different too. People have reversed all kinds of medical issues by juicing, despite the high sugar content. And people drop a lot of weight, too. I lost 3/4 pound every day I juiced, which was the fastest weight-loss method I've tried. But it's not the easiest. For me, the easiest was eating lots of salad, grilled or baked seafood/meat/poultry, and a baked potato or sweet potato. Potato salad is probably even better, but I love baked sweet potatoes with butter and cinnamon and/or nutmeg.

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This is why it's messed up....my labs are good, I'm in the average range for me and the doc thinks it's grief/ depresssion. Even my cortisol levels were normal. The only things wonky were elevated heavy metals of two kinds, but that was from when I was drinking pepto constantly for my stomach... but now the levels are normal. 

Yea, two shoe sizes...not width either, length...freaky right?! My slippers fall off if I try to go upstairs in them.

When I had gasteoparesis, I lost a literal shit ton of weight and everything shrunk up. And I gained the weight back after I recovered, and hit my goal weight...which was what I was before I got sick...which was also about 15lbs more than my skinnier, cut-abs weight, but I was ok with it. Now the number in the scale upsets me. I'm still shaped the same only I'm expanded in the places women hold fat...and my belly/baby bump. I thought I'd just gain all over and be round, but I'm still shapely, just big like Anna Nichole...plus the tummy bump. 

Im seeing a nutritionist to see if there's some kind of diet plan, and I'm meeting the guy at the gym next week to try it out. I'm happy to work out if I'm going to see results...if my diet isn't going to help fix things I may as well eat crap and be happy.

maybe tmi but I'm scheduled for a mammo too. It's time....I was avoiding it, but I read a certain type of tumor can cause the symptoms I have. I'm sure it's not that but better check it out too....,

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Are you hungry enough in the morning to eat breakfast? If you do, how much do you eat?

The shoe size thing is odd, to say the least. I don't know why that would happen. 

As good as exercise is for you, it has never proven to be a very good for losing weight for the average person. It increases your appetite, and the overwhelming majority of your food requirements have to do with your basal metabolic rate. And that is partially a function of how much you eat or exercise. So if you eat less, your basal metabolic rate tends to decrease, and if you exercise more, it tends to increase. Either way, your attempt to change the calorie equation fails, at least to some extent. 

Over and over again, diet has proven to be far superior to exercise for weight loss. Even so, most diets don't do well in the long term. But you may not be average. Exercise might work better for you than others. And whatever diet you choose may not be suited to you, but might work very well for someone else. 

There is no one prescription that suits everyone, despite what most everyone in the industry says. That said, there are three things that I think almost everyone agrees on: eat more veggies; eat fewer refined grains; and consume less added sugar. If you do nothing else, these non-controversial adjustments will likely help you manage your weight and improve your health.

 

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