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I'm trying to find info on a particularly embarrassing method I use to deal with depression.  I'm an adult now, but I've always laid on my side, rocking from side to side, since I was a child.  I do it to fall asleep and I also do it when I just can't do anything else.  I've been able to hide it from lovers and friends, but my family knows about it (and never did a thing, they just think it's weird).  It is weird, but I don't know how else to cope.  I also don't know where to find information on it.  Is it common?  Does anyone else do it?  Am I crazy?

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I'm trying to find info on a particularly embarrassing method I use to deal with depression.  I'm an adult now, but I've always laid on my side, rocking from side to side, since I was a child.  I do it to fall asleep and I also do it when I just can't do anything else.  I've been able to hide it from lovers and friends, but my family knows about it (and never did a thing, they just think it's weird).  It is weird, but I don't know how else to cope.  I also don't know where to find information on it.  Is it common?  Does anyone else do it?  Am I crazy?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hey, if it works and it doesn't hurt you or anyone else? Are you seeing a therapist?

If that's all there is too it, it justs sounds to me like a way you can soothe yourself.

S9

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Hmm, no, sorry, I havn't heard of that one.

But I can also share an ebarassing way of dealing with depression. Well, to me, anyway. I don't know hot to describe this one, but mum called it 'getting excited', because of how it looks. I sort of send shivers up my spine, or so it feels like that's how I do it. I think I'm voluntarily releasing adrenaline, because I get the same feeling involuntarily when I go on a ride, or whatever.  I can't do it too much, mainly because it gets too much, I start shaking and I gotta stop. It's embarassing because I'm just lying on my back, usually arms stretched out, doing it. It makes me feel better for that instance. Can't do it too much, otherwise it makes me go funny, but oh well, better than being depressed!

Sorry I couldn't answer your question though!

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I do a lot of rythmic stuff now (moving my foot, my knee, my toes, even clicking my teeth together) when I'm not working or talking or fascinated by something.  I think it's a way of distracting myself through physical movement. 

My mom not only does that but moves her feet back and forth when she's in bed under the covers.  She's not conscious of it but does it all the time.  She's a very anxious woman and often depressed.  It seems to calm her down.

For me it's not depression that makes me do it; it's more like impatience, and gets worse if I'm anxious and irritably.  I do it more on lamictal than on other meds; I think I used to do it before I was on depakote.

Edited to add: I remember reading an interesting article about how babies learn (or don't) to self-soothe.  Basically babies stop fussing when they get into the right physical position or get themselves the right stimulus (the classic being thumb-sucking).  The article suggested that when a "colicky" baby is crying for no apparent reason, the parents should try rearranging its limbs, propping it on its side with pillows, or otherwise trying different physical positions.  Eventually most babies eventually figure out a way to calm themselves; some never do but can be taught how to. 

So maybe this is just a self-calming method?  Whatever it is, rock on!

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I practice a number of rhythmic self-soothing methods.  Rocking is one of them.  If you'd like to stop rocking in the way you've described, perhaps you could try substituting another soothing rhythmic activity for the one you find embarrassing?  Foot-tapping, rocking in a rocking chair, rubbing circles on a sensiting patch of skin (fingertips or palms of hands works for me), rocking a bit on the balls of your feet while standing?  There has to be a way for you to fit yourself into the world and still be okay.  Maybe there's a more socially acceptable method you could use to return to emotional baseline. 

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Heya Judy Doom,

There's a thread about rocking around here somewhere.

Under self-soothing, I think.

I rock all the time.

Makes it less weird if I use my *brans new* rocking chair (which is at home, not here).

Rocking helps?  Go for it.

--ncc--

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There are a lot of other things people do to quiet their emotions. Some turn to street drugs, others do rather harmless things like bite their nails. I don't think that rocking yourself is weird at all.

I'd say that if a lover is worth sleeping with, that they are worth not hiding this from. If you are close, then you ccan share your feelings and just describe what you do. A lot of people rock in rocking chairs, you just don't use one! Maybe your lover would rock you, you never know!

Just don't be ashamed.

-------loon----------

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I don't see what's embarassing about it. Maybe I should try it...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Dunno where the person lives, but if it's in the US any deviation from what society considers 'normal' is considered a dangerously unstable person. Then the shame is more or less heaped on from there.

I don't think he/she should be embarassed about it either. Whatever works, go with it. ;)

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I was reminded of this thread yesterday by my pdoc (no, she doesn't read CB....at least I hope not!!).

Anyway, I always always fidget when I'm talking to her. She usually ignores it but decided yesterday to ask me why I did it and if I was aware. I said I wasn't usually that aware of it, that I just did it and it helped me to focus and sit still. So I guess for me it's a bit of a comfort thing.

Don't worry about it- if it helps you then go for it. I'm not about to stop fidgeting! Oh, and according to pdoc, fidgeting burns off loads of calories....!

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