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How to tell husband that I need my meds?


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Hi new here what would you all do if your husband gave you hell about having to be on medication ? I'm on lamictal Wellbutrin Lexapro and kolonopin .  If I'm not medicated I do stupid stuff like can land you in jail or ruin your life kinda stuff ...  and I know I need the meds I'm bipolar  1 with psychotic features .. I hear voices and see things when i am bad manic .. I have a chemical imblence and have been hospitalized because of manic and mixed episodes . I don't know what to do to chill him since I got back on my meds he has been this way.

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Hello Nikki,

Welcome to Crazyboards :)

I want you to know that I gave you your own topic because where you'd posted is such a general thread that you were not likely to get many answers. And you absolutely deserve answers - this is a very important topic!

If you have any questions about this or about anything else you're more than welcome to PM myself or the staff member of your choice.

I hope that you can find the answers that you're looking for. I agree with you that meds are pretty important.

 

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Would your husband listen to your psychiatrist?  That said, when I was married, my husband never accepted my need for meds or therapy, despite my taking him to talk to my therapist. He had his own agenda. In the end, I had to do what was right for me anyway. So, someone may have better ideas for you, but bottom line is you need to do what's best for your mental health even if he can't accept that, if you want to avoid the consequences you mention.  It's hard when the one you love doesn't get it. But without your meds, you will not be in a place conducive to a relationship anyway. I hope he can come around, I've been in that situation and it dragged me down a lot, so I feel for you. 

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Hi Welcome to Crazy Boards.

it took me a long time to get on the right meds.  ( my meds and DX is below).  My husband really struggled through it all.  He says I am different on meds. Not the person he married.   He often questioned if I was bipolar.   I questioned if I was bipolar, still do. I try to avoid the topic and keep my appointments to myself.  He has surprised my lately.  I began tapering off my meds, not by doctors orders and told him so.  I told him I knew I was not bipolar so I didn't need the meds.   I was expecting some sort of "it's about time" from him.   

What I got was " what the hell are you doing that for, you need your meds and your doctor knows better than you and you need to accept that you are bipolar and that it's okay". I guess what I am trying to say is acceptance can be hard for both you and him.

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Taking him to your psychiatrist and therapist appointments to get some support in explaining it to him and taking him to carer support group might help. Perhaps giving him a book on bipolar, some are written for friends and family of the sufferer could help also, if he'd agree to read it. There are also documentaries you could show him. It might help him recognise the symptoms of BP in you, and shake him out of his denial.

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12 hours ago, ByePolarCoordinates said:

Bringing him with to a psychiatrist appointment seems like a great first step. It has been helpful to me on many occasions. 

I agree.  First though that came to mind when I read your original post (OP).

Also maybe look into couples therapy?  That seems to help a few people I know.

 

Welcome to CB :) 

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This has been an ongoing struggle for me for years. What I've learned:

No matter what, keep focus on maintaining and improving your mental health. It's imperative that you find a sense of balance in your life. My SO was *not* happy when I told her my dx was BPII, and even less happy as I've been through meds, therapy, suicide attempt, and the ever-present mood swings. I have extended family that absolutely refuse to accept my dx because they "don't believe it." I have struggled the past few years accepting the dx and finding the proper treatment, but there has been major progress in the past year, and I'm in the best place I've been in a long time.

It all sounds selfish, but the point is that you can't control other people. You can try to educate them, but if they choose not to believe, then it's on them. I wasted a lot of energy trying to involve my SO in my treatment, and all I did was create a lot of turmoil in our relationship. It's also very stressful on relationships, and some non-MI people have a tough time understanding and especially empathizing with something as erratic as BP. I drew my boundaries on what I *have* to have to be stable and maintain myself, and I let my SO know. I put the decision to be supportive in her lap, and if she rejected it, so be it. 

I think that individual therapy is far more beneficial (initially) than couples therapy. The reason is that your relationship isn't in a stable place in terms of communication and it's going to be a very uphill battle. I tried couples therapy initially, and it fell apart after a few weeks. Ultimately we both ended up in individual therapy, and that has served us both well for the past (almost) 2 continuous years. We each have our own issues to resolve first, and sitting down together doesn't always lead to productive conversation (which you need for couples therapy.)

It's worked out in the end, I'm very stable, and my SO and I have learned how to deal with our issues (which takes consistent work) and we're doing good. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Sorry it's been so long since I've been on .... And thanks so much for all of your advice nice to know I'm not alone in all this he has been with me since we were 16 now 33 he wouldn't go to therapy with me too manly for it he says but we will work it out like we always have I hope . Thanks so much again it means alot that you guys care I feel alone alot my faith is a big part of who I am so God has my back :)  nice to know I can come to people that understand because he has no clue !

 

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