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BP II w/ Rapid Cycling Help Please!

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Anyone have BP II with rapid cycling that can cycle fast?  Like less than a day you run the gambit of moods?  If so how do you deal?  I have med and my Seal Team Six of people I see for this stuff know about it.  I'm curious if I'm alone and if not how do you survive outside of meds?  

  

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I can sometime cycle rapidly, but it's not polar up & down. I go from feeling low, but stable, to suicidally depressed & crying within hours (more of an agitated depression I suppose?) The ideation & severe mood often lasts for 2 hours and then I go back to my baseline, apathy low mood. It's not really classic BP, but similar because I can go between these 2 states several times within a day. Some docs say this is a sign that you aren't on the right dose of meds because your moods are not well controlled.

I honestly don't know what helps other than meds, maybe others can chime in. Rapid cycling can be a very difficult symptom to treat without at least a PRN med. Are you on any meds?

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1 hour ago, Blahblah said:

I honestly don't know what helps other than meds, maybe others can chime in. Rapid cycling can be a very difficult symptom to treat without at least a PRN med. Are you on any meds?

I'm on Abilify, Lexapro, and Depacoat.  I have BPII, anxiety, and ADHD.  The rapid cycling is really tough.

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Seroquel prn helps me and to a lesser extent clonazapam.

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I have this problem too. It's actually one of the things I was looking for here to talk about. I came into the site up babbling, and have gone through 6 mood changes almost in tears now. It's very frustrating. Honestly, my PRN as suggested above helps me a lot. Mine is diazepam. I'm careful with it so a lot of times I just sit and deal, breathe, watch tv, browse interwebs, research something, cook, clean, sleep, anything to keep me occupied. 

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My cycling is not usually that rapid, but it can be quite rapid. It's not unheard of for me to be hypo for a couple weeks and depressed immediately for anywhere from a couple weeks to six months. Thankfully, my meds control it fairly well... when I'm compliant.

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It's weird; my cycling can be rapid, but when I am depressed it last for months; but I can cycle as mixed states on top of the depression... that is some bizarre shit to me. I guess that's why they NOS me. You're definitely like me; they've guinea pigged me on like 20 some odd meds; some we've even tried more than once. I was pissed when a new doc tried Risperidal a 2nd time; I told him it caused seizures; let's try it anyway; grrr. I digress. We even have similar DX; I used to have psychotic features when I was younger but I was being abused so ... easy to become a little um, psychotic in a very violent way. It took me a long time to be compliant; now I'm compliant most of the time; I'll only half my psych meds so I'm half compliant, but then not take other meds, so not compliant with my other health needs... I chuckle sometimes at our compliance; I shouldn't but I do. As of recently I've been very compliant with all meds; I got very sick and in a lot of FM pain and gained a ton of weight so, want to exercise, so compliance it is. Grrr I hate taking 8 meds or whatever. I'm hypo right now; so babbling. Sorry.

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Without the proper meds-cocktail and communication with your doctor, it's obviously incredibly rough - i had to suffer for a long time before i finally got on the right cocktail. It's been a couple of years since i've rapid-cycled, but at the time, i learned to understand what my triggers were; alcohol, relationship stress, and anniversary of a certain death all were bad triggers for me. They still are, but with my meds being in proper working order, the swings are far less intense - and i rarely drink now (if i do, it's in moderation). Also, i learned that i have a very bad reaction to THC. Many of us do. I know a lot of people don't like to talk about the fact that they mix their meds with alcohol and weed, but let's face it, many people do, and many should not. In fact, most shouldn't, lol. 

In any case, being mindful of my cycles, and my triggers which took writing things down. Also, making the Herculean effort to step back from myself and tell myself that what i'm experiencing is not ME, but a state of my MIND. Taking a breath, and doing something that would distract from the immediacy of the moment. Read, or watch a movie, or if that took too much concentration, take a walk, or since i am a dancer and a writer, i'd do one of those things depending upon which of those releases seemed like it would help me feel better. Work out. Physical release does wonders.  

But above all, do ALL YOU CAN to separate youSELF from your STATE OF MIND. I am not saying, again, that this is at all easy. But it was a life saver for me.  And it helps me now with my s/o, who is still struggling with his Bipolar illness and has not yet found stability, as he is still new in his treatment. I try to tell him this, and remind him that he is not his moods. So often it feels like we are caught in this hurricaine of emotions - if we could only be like Dorothy, in the relatively calm centre in the safe little house with Toto until the storm passes, we know we are safe, no matter what...

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17 hours ago, Devotchka said:

"i learned to understand what my triggers were; alcohol, relationship stress, and anniversary of a certain death all were bad triggers for me. They still are, but with my meds being in proper working order, the swings are far less intense - and i rarely drink now (if i do, it's in moderation). Also, i learned that i have a very bad reaction to THC. Many of us do. I know a lot of people don't like to talk about the fact that they mix their meds with alcohol and weed, but let's face it, many people do, and many should not. In fact, most shouldn't, lol."

RE:>>><<<<>>>> I never even thought about this; I'm coming up on my 1 year anniversary of my husband telling me he "wasn't in love with me and not attracted to me" and "probably married me knowing this" and he cheated on me; granted I knew deep down the relationship was over long before I wanted to admit it, but I don't like to give up and still loved him and do deeply but realize this is more on a companion or best friend level. ... Which brings me to, now I'm starting to date, more stress as the 5 year or more depression (and laziness) before I wanted to admit my relationship was over, created "some" weight gain and my house being, well messier than I'd like... these are major triggers for me. I do not drink (big no no for most of my meds) so adding them all together with alcohol; can't even imagine the results. And long before compliance with meds or even diagnosis, weed made me super paranoid and anxious, so nope. Weed = me in the bed going over everything I've ever done and said and feeling like an asshole on every level and thinking my cat is talking to me telepathically calling me an asshole etc etc etc

"In any case, being mindful of my cycles, and my triggers which took writing things down. Also, making the Herculean effort to step back from myself and tell myself that what i'm experiencing is not ME, but a state of my MIND. Taking a breath, and doing something that would distract from the immediacy of the moment. Read, or watch a movie, or if that took too much concentration, take a walk, or since i am a dancer and a writer, i'd do one of those things depending upon which of those releases seemed like it would help me feel better. Work out. Physical release does wonders."

RE:>>>>>><<<<>>>> While I have some new symptoms physically and things are a little hyper at the moment I pretty much know my cycles from various methods. As I mentioned in my OP; that's exactly what I do, keep myself occupied. I just started a workout schedule. With fibromyalgia it's tough, but exercise is good for that too.

You make awesome points!!! We have the same coping skills; been dealing for about 20 years now; you? 

 

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2 hours ago, Dorkpixie said:

"i learned to understand what my triggers were; alcohol, relationship stress, and anniversary of a certain death all were bad triggers for me. They still are, but with my meds being in proper working order, the swings are far less intense - and i rarely drink now (if i do, it's in moderation). Also, i learned that i have a very bad reaction to THC. Many of us do. I know a lot of people don't like to talk about the fact that they mix their meds with alcohol and weed, but let's face it, many people do, and many should not. In fact, most shouldn't, lol."

RE:>>><<<<>>>> I never even thought about this; I'm coming up on my 1 year anniversary of my husband telling me he "wasn't in love with me and not attracted to me" and "probably married me knowing this" and he cheated on me; granted I knew deep down the relationship was over long before I wanted to admit it, but I don't like to give up and still loved him and do deeply but realize this is more on a companion or best friend level. ... Which brings me to, now I'm starting to date, more stress as the 5 year or more depression (and laziness) before I wanted to admit my relationship was over, created "some" weight gain and my house being, well messier than I'd like... these are major triggers for me. I do not drink (big no no for most of my meds) so adding them all together with alcohol; can't even imagine the results. And long before compliance with meds or even diagnosis, weed made me super paranoid and anxious, so nope. Weed = me in the bed going over everything I've ever done and said and feeling like an asshole on every level and thinking my cat is talking to me telepathically calling me an asshole etc etc etc

"In any case, being mindful of my cycles, and my triggers which took writing things down. Also, making the Herculean effort to step back from myself and tell myself that what i'm experiencing is not ME, but a state of my MIND. Taking a breath, and doing something that would distract from the immediacy of the moment. Read, or watch a movie, or if that took too much concentration, take a walk, or since i am a dancer and a writer, i'd do one of those things depending upon which of those releases seemed like it would help me feel better. Work out. Physical release does wonders."

RE:>>>>>><<<<>>>> While I have some new symptoms physically and things are a little hyper at the moment I pretty much know my cycles from various methods. As I mentioned in my OP; that's exactly what I do, keep myself occupied. I just started a workout schedule. With fibromyalgia it's tough, but exercise is good for that too.

You make awesome points!!! We have the same coping skills; been dealing for about 20 years now; you? 

 

 

Dorkpixie - thank you so much!  Oh, man - i suppose most of my life, really - but i've had the diagnosis for about six years. I got it in the hospital dealing with depression after the death of my son. It made so much sense! Explained so many things, so many years of suffering. You have fibro as well?  I have it too - or rather i have what they think is fibro as a result of chronic Lyme. Meh, who knows. The end result is pretty much the same. I have Hashimoto's as well, so i totally understand the issues with exercise. It can be so hard! Add a good bout of depression on top of that, and it's a big ol' pile of NOPE some days.  

I can only imagine how tough that would have been, hearing that from your husband - pardon me for saying it, but what an ass! I don't understand why some people have to be so cruel.  Going through a rough time myself, and the depression from it is hitting pretty hard. Situational depression triggering chemical depression - such a delight!

I went from 117 lbs (my baseline is 117 - 123) to 148 in the space of several months in the past year, due to the Hashi's. I got super depressed about that. Dancers tend to freak about that stuff :/.  Now i'm down to about 133 or so and counting in the past two weeks, with a good portion of it being muscle, from being on back the Keto diet. I find it really helps with my health issues and gives me more energy/makes me less symptomatic. I tend to get obsessive about things and so it gives me something healthy to focus on, being a recovering bulimic as well. 

Ugh, and the weed! Holy shit, it makes me hear voices and ruminate too - it's so bad. It makes me convinced that i am the most logical person in my high state, and that logic tells me that i am the biggest asshole in the world and every thing i've done in my life leads to me being a sociopath that deserves to die. Just...no.  Stuff is bad. CBD, the non-psychotropic stuff, on the other hand, is wonderful for my all-over pain. 

Yeah, i've decided alcohol and i just need to part ways, pretty much. Every single time i drink i get a headache anyway, so what is the point?  I always feel much better when i don't take that weekend drink of wine, so why bother? And let's face it - psych meds and booze are generally a no-no anyway. And i LIKE me on my meds.  With the shit i'm going through right now with my S/O, i NEED to be at my sanest.  I have to be my rational self at my best right now. Not that i don't always need to be, but especially now.  Coping skills are what keep us alive and kicking, despite the bullshit. My stress levels are so high right now, but i'm NOT needing the hospital and i'm NOT thinking of purging or hurting myself. And that in itself is a pretty big deal.  

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21 hours ago, Devotchka said:

 

" I got it in the hospital dealing with depression after the death of my son. It made so much sense! Explained so many things, so many years of suffering. You have fibro as well?  I have it too - or rather i have what they think is fibro as a result of chronic Lyme. Meh, who knows. The end result is pretty much the same. I have Hashimoto's as well, so i totally understand the issues with exercise. It can be so hard! Add a good bout of depression on top of that, and it's a big ol' pile of NOPE some days."

<<<>>>><<< OMG I am so sorry. I can't truly imagine. I did imagine; once, my daughter used heroin for a couple years, a boyfriend got her into it, so I imagined the worst daily. The reality... I am so so so sorry. So many hugs to you girl!!!!

I had Lyme as well; maybe that's is also what caused my Fibro; I'll never know for sure though; we moved around too much, too many Drs to know. 

"I can only imagine how tough that would have been, hearing that from your husband - pardon me for saying it, but what an ass! I don't understand why some people have to be so cruel.  Going through a rough time myself, and the depression from it is hitting pretty hard. Situational depression triggering chemical depression - such a delight!"

<<<<<>>>><<<< No, you can say it, lol. We're still friends, we always were, probably should've just stayed that way. We're roomies for financial reasons now. There are days when I want to beat the crap out of him in his sleep, but, I don't lol. My earlier days or hospital and jails was enough.... I'm sorry you're going through depression right now; depression is the worst!!!!! I prefer hypo anytime; but spend most of my time in depression land. and situational any of it is rough. If you ever need to talk; msg me!!! Right now; I'm going through my first hypermania in Idk how many years. At least 10 or 11. It's really hard to deal with only because I haven't been here in so long, but being medicated now and more responsible than I was then is helping a lot.

"I went from 117 lbs (my baseline is 117 - 123) to 148 in the space of several months in the past year, due to the Hashi's. I got super depressed about that. Dancers tend to freak about that stuff :/.  Now i'm down to about 133 or so and counting in the past two weeks, with a good portion of it being muscle, from being on back the Keto diet. I find it really helps with my health issues and gives me more energy/makes me less symptomatic. I tend to get obsessive about things and so it gives me something healthy to focus on, being a recovering bulimic as well."

<<<>>>><<< DO NOT stress about that much weight!!! that's about how much I gained. I was a dancer as well prior to my career as a wife. Then the depression of lack of affection and intimacy from him set in went up to 165, then they gave me nortriptilyne for migraines, shot up to about 190!!! I wanted to kill myself for real! It was very difficult. I told them we're done with the nortriptilyne obviously and talked them into topamax (it def causes weight loss) and I'm working out and have already lost 20 lbs. It sounds awful but my digestive system got sick & that helped my obsessive BED so I can't eat like that; I used to binge then starve myself for weeks (I just can't make myself throw up no matter what I tried.) So, don't stress to hard about weight, keep to your diet and exercise and you'll be fine. Idk your age (I'm horrible at reading profiles b4 talking to someone, lol) but as you age you realize age comes with some imperfections you have to just let go off. Just like our mental health; "societal norms" need not apply only "reality."

"Ugh, and the weed! Holy shit, it makes me hear voices and ruminate too - it's so bad. It makes me convinced that i am the most logical person in my high state, and that logic tells me that i am the biggest asshole in the world and every thing i've done in my life leads to me being a sociopath that deserves to die. Just...no.  Stuff is bad. CBD, the non-psychotropic stuff, on the other hand, is wonderful for my all-over pain."

<<>>>><<< Same!! The CBD that's legal in 50 states though from industrial hemp; doesn't work well, tried from 2 companies. I need the real CBD from cannabis plant; which unfortunately as of yet haven't gotten script from Dr. I'll see how that goes since I'm limited on pain meds and I refuse narcotics. No, I will not take them. My choice.

"Yeah, i've decided alcohol and i just need to part ways, pretty much. Every single time i drink i get a headache anyway, so what is the point?  I always feel much better when i don't take that weekend drink of wine, so why bother? And let's face it - psych meds and booze are generally a no-no anyway. And i LIKE me on my meds.  With the shit i'm going through right now with my S/O, i NEED to be at my sanest.  I have to be my rational self at my best right now. Not that i don't always need to be, but especially now.  Coping skills are what keep us alive and kicking, despite the bullshit. My stress levels are so high right now, but i'm NOT needing the hospital and i'm NOT thinking of purging or hurting myself. And that in itself is a pretty big deal."

<<<>>>><<< LMAO I laugh because I had a date yesterday; my 1st one in a yr since the break-up (the relationship was dead long b4 then.) I hadn't drank in over a year and I really don't drink. But ask if I wanted to go for a drink. I thought of our conversation, but still said sure (there was more, funny conversation to it, but I digress too much already.) Well, I had five including the 2 shots bought by the regulars at the bar. Since I'm hyper right now; I handled them well.... then they wore off.... the headache!!!! omg! I thought my head was going to explode... ugh. I can't say I won't do it again, cuz well, mania comes with bad decisions; but; maybe later in the day when there's a better chance of falling asleep before the headache. I was terrified though of falling asleep and never waking up due to meds mixing with the alcohol. If I wasn't lying there in mania fueled insomnia; I probably would've had panic attacks about it.

-The only thing I'm having a hard time with right now in dealing with the hyper is I am already in debt because I've been living off my credit until I get a job, which is in the works. But I spend; instead of spending dawn to dawn in bars and on drugs and having sex with strangers like I did in my 20s; now my behaviors are a little more "adult-like," super cleaning (cool beans), exercising more (hell yes), being more social (ok, but only with ppl I know), buuuut overspending is a serious problem. I cannot be doing that. I'm really trying to get my satisfaction by ONLY buying things I need. Which is the things I would have been buying anyway on credit (again, living off it for now.)

YOU are doing AWESOME!!!! you are here; you are talking about things; you are not doing the behaviors that could land you in bad places. Yes a big ado!!!! Again, if you ever need to talk. Please msg me.  

 

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4 hours ago, Dorkpixie said:

" I got it in the hospital dealing with depression after the death of my son. It made so much sense! Explained so many things, so many years of suffering. You have fibro as well?  I have it too - or rather i have what they think is fibro as a result of chronic Lyme. Meh, who knows. The end result is pretty much the same. I have Hashimoto's as well, so i totally understand the issues with exercise. It can be so hard! Add a good bout of depression on top of that, and it's a big ol' pile of NOPE some days."

<<<>>>><<< OMG I am so sorry. I can't truly imagine. I did imagine; once, my daughter used heroin for a couple years, a boyfriend got her into it, so I imagined the worst daily. The reality... I am so so so sorry. So many hugs to you girl!!!!

I had Lyme as well; maybe that's is also what caused my Fibro; I'll never know for sure though; we moved around too much, too many Drs to know. 

"I can only imagine how tough that would have been, hearing that from your husband - pardon me for saying it, but what an ass! I don't understand why some people have to be so cruel.  Going through a rough time myself, and the depression from it is hitting pretty hard. Situational depression triggering chemical depression - such a delight!"

<<<<<>>>><<<< No, you can say it, lol. We're still friends, we always were, probably should've just stayed that way. We're roomies for financial reasons now. There are days when I want to beat the crap out of him in his sleep, but, I don't lol. My earlier days or hospital and jails was enough.... I'm sorry you're going through depression right now; depression is the worst!!!!! I prefer hypo anytime; but spend most of my time in depression land. and situational any of it is rough. If you ever need to talk; msg me!!! Right now; I'm going through my first hypermania in Idk how many years. At least 10 or 11. It's really hard to deal with only because I haven't been here in so long, but being medicated now and more responsible than I was then is helping a lot.

"I went from 117 lbs (my baseline is 117 - 123) to 148 in the space of several months in the past year, due to the Hashi's. I got super depressed about that. Dancers tend to freak about that stuff :/.  Now i'm down to about 133 or so and counting in the past two weeks, with a good portion of it being muscle, from being on back the Keto diet. I find it really helps with my health issues and gives me more energy/makes me less symptomatic. I tend to get obsessive about things and so it gives me something healthy to focus on, being a recovering bulimic as well."

<<<>>>><<< DO NOT stress about that much weight!!! that's about how much I gained. I was a dancer as well prior to my career as a wife. Then the depression of lack of affection and intimacy from him set in went up to 165, then they gave me nortriptilyne for migraines, shot up to about 190!!! I wanted to kill myself for real! It was very difficult. I told them we're done with the nortriptilyne obviously and talked them into topamax (it def causes weight loss) and I'm working out and have already lost 20 lbs. It sounds awful but my digestive system got sick & that helped my obsessive BED so I can't eat like that; I used to binge then starve myself for weeks (I just can't make myself throw up no matter what I tried.) So, don't stress to hard about weight, keep to your diet and exercise and you'll be fine. Idk your age (I'm horrible at reading profiles b4 talking to someone, lol) but as you age you realize age comes with some imperfections you have to just let go off. Just like our mental health; "societal norms" need not apply only "reality."

"Ugh, and the weed! Holy shit, it makes me hear voices and ruminate too - it's so bad. It makes me convinced that i am the most logical person in my high state, and that logic tells me that i am the biggest asshole in the world and every thing i've done in my life leads to me being a sociopath that deserves to die. Just...no.  Stuff is bad. CBD, the non-psychotropic stuff, on the other hand, is wonderful for my all-over pain."

<<>>>><<< Same!! The CBD that's legal in 50 states though from industrial hemp; doesn't work well, tried from 2 companies. I need the real CBD from cannabis plant; which unfortunately as of yet haven't gotten script from Dr. I'll see how that goes since I'm limited on pain meds and I refuse narcotics. No, I will not take them. My choice.

"Yeah, i've decided alcohol and i just need to part ways, pretty much. Every single time i drink i get a headache anyway, so what is the point?  I always feel much better when i don't take that weekend drink of wine, so why bother? And let's face it - psych meds and booze are generally a no-no anyway. And i LIKE me on my meds.  With the shit i'm going through right now with my S/O, i NEED to be at my sanest.  I have to be my rational self at my best right now. Not that i don't always need to be, but especially now.  Coping skills are what keep us alive and kicking, despite the bullshit. My stress levels are so high right now, but i'm NOT needing the hospital and i'm NOT thinking of purging or hurting myself. And that in itself is a pretty big deal."

<<<>>>><<< LMAO I laugh because I had a date yesterday; my 1st one in a yr since the break-up (the relationship was dead long b4 then.) I hadn't drank in over a year and I really don't drink. But ask if I wanted to go for a drink. I thought of our conversation, but still said sure (there was more, funny conversation to it, but I digress too much already.) Well, I had five including the 2 shots bought by the regulars at the bar. Since I'm hyper right now; I handled them well.... then they wore off.... the headache!!!! omg! I thought my head was going to explode... ugh. I can't say I won't do it again, cuz well, mania comes with bad decisions; but; maybe later in the day when there's a better chance of falling asleep before the headache. I was terrified though of falling asleep and never waking up due to meds mixing with the alcohol. If I wasn't lying there in mania fueled insomnia; I probably would've had panic attacks about it.

-The only thing I'm having a hard time with right now in dealing with the hyper is I am already in debt because I've been living off my credit until I get a job, which is in the works. But I spend; instead of spending dawn to dawn in bars and on drugs and having sex with strangers like I did in my 20s; now my behaviors are a little more "adult-like," super cleaning (cool beans), exercising more (hell yes), being more social (ok, but only with ppl I know), buuuut overspending is a serious problem. I cannot be doing that. I'm really trying to get my satisfaction by ONLY buying things I need. Which is the things I would have been buying anyway on credit (again, living off it for now.)

YOU are doing AWESOME!!!! you are here; you are talking about things; you are not doing the behaviors that could land you in bad places. Yes a big ado!!!! Again, if you ever need to talk. Please msg me.  

My son died of an accidental overdose, so i understand the terror you went through.  Thank you. It's been seven years this month, sometimes it seems unreal to me that it's been that long already...he was 19. It was methadone, a tainted batch he got on the street. 

Wow, let's see - the last time i was hypo?  God i can't even remember. I mean i get anxiety still - that and depression due to the stuff with my boyfriend. So all the fun stuff :/.  I still get mania on occasion, just super-mild when the depression bounces back for a minute - moreso when i was on Wellbutrin, so i recently quit that stuff.  I take it intermittently when the depression gets too deep, like around anniversary times or when the s/o has been really bad for awhile...i've been in hospital but never jail! My boyfriend was in for 5 years though.  At least those days are long in the past for him. So i have to give him much credit for being so much more stable than he once was. This illness is such a joy.  I will definitely message you - friends on here are always a good thing. 

I take "Dopamax" too, lol!  The first two times i was on it i lost weight. Now, no. Sigh. I had to stop because i lost my insurance those two times. Grr. But i take it for migraines and seizures. It's a wonder drug indeed. Now i  am getting breakthrough headaches which sucks but i suspect once i get into ketosis again they'll go away, like the last time i was on this eating plan. It's good for seizures too. But i'll still need the topiramate as a mood stabilizer. It's a great drug. Lol, i'm terrible reading profiles too!  I didn't put my year of birth on my profile anyway because i'm vain, haha! But i'm in my 40s - i tend to get away with lying about it via omission, due to good Lithuanian genes lol. I've been fooling myself that i'm still in my early 30's because everyone else seems to think i am. :D  But you're right, seriously, things do change but i never thought my weight would be one of them! Even with the Hashis! Delusion is a dangerous thing. You're also right that the diet and exercise are totally working. It's coming off - it was just a question of the right foods. Autoimmune people tend to really react badly to carbohydrates and i had forgotten about that somehow. Or gotten lazy. Or both. Congratulations on your 20 lbs!!! That's really awesome!  Maybe we can be weight loss buddies!?

I only take CBD that i get through...ahem..."alternative sources" lol.  He gets the real stuff and it's powerful. I have had medical CBD too in the past, again via alternative sources. It's hard to get an Rx in this part of the country when you're on Medicaid. I work for myself so can't get normal insurance on my income. It's a problem but hey, i do what i can. 

It sounds like you're doing pretty awesome yourself!  Overspending can be a problem for me, too - but only on, as you say, "healthy" things these days. No more bars for me. I spend on things like healthy foods and supplements.  You're about to get a new job? That's great!  I'll have to message you for juicy details re: that and your date...;)

Edited by Devotchka
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3 minutes ago, Devotchka said:

"My son died of an accidental overdose, so i understand the terror you went through.  Thank you. It's been seven years this month, sometimes it seems unreal to me that it's been that long already...he was 19. It was methadone, a tainted batch he got on the street."

<<>>><<< :'( I have no words. I know the heartache I felt knowing she was using, crushing. I'm just so sorry. No words. Hugs <3

".... This illness is such a joy.  I will definitely message you - friends on here are always a good thing."

<<>>><<< sorry I quote like this, but I forget things a lot lo & digress tons, this is how I try to stay on track. Hypo, I get that cyclicaly, if that's a word, it's very low though. Used to that. I'm sorry you're going through so much with your guy :/ sometimes, they're a but much. I have very few friends in real life, I had tons, knew them for years, but I grew up, they stayed in a high school state of mind even as we were all coming up on 40 (I just turned 41 not too long ago.) I had to let them all go, most were of course very childish and dramatic about it, oh well, I quietly moved on & am happier, albeit, sometimes lonely, but happier.

"I take "Dopamax" too, lol!  The first two times i was on it i lost weight. Now, no. Sigh. I had to stop because i lost my insurance those two times. Grr. But i take it for migraines and seizures. It's a wonder drug indeed. Now i  am getting breakthrough headaches which sucks but i suspect once i get into ketosis again they'll go away, like the last time i was on this eating plan. It's good for seizures too. But i'll still need the topiramate as a mood stabilizer. It's a great drug. Lol, i'm terrible reading profiles too!  I didn't put my year of birth on my profile anyway because i'm vain, haha! But i'm in my 40s - i tend to get away with lying about it via omission, due to good Lithuanian genes lol. I've been fooling myself that i'm still in my early 30's because everyone else seems to think i am. :D  But you're right, seriously, things do change but i never thought my weight would be one of them! Even with the Hashis! Delusion is a dangerous thing. You're also right that the diet and exercise are totally working. It's coming off - it was just a question of the right foods. Autoimmune people tend to really react badly to carbohydrates and i had forgotten about that somehow. Or gotten lazy. Or both. Congratulations on your 20 lbs!!! That's really awesome!  Maybe we can be weight loss buddies!?"

<<<>>><<<LOL at dopamax, I trip a lot since I've been on it, in a goofy way, look like a spaz lol. I'm "blessed" that I was given SSD early in my dx, I was really that bad, so I have Medicare, & Medicaid, I truly appreciate it too. As far as medical I'm super grateful. The SSD, well, grateful but not enough to pay the bills anymore unfortunately. I'm guessing ketosis (I had to look it up lol) is what my body is doing) I eat protein, fruits & veggies. Very few if any carbs & very little sweets, which is odd for me but fine. I have a bag of chocolate chips when I need a little fix I don't deny myself, just 5 or 6 is enough. & tons of water! Sometimes I feel 16! But then I talk to a 16 year old and go, nope! Lol. Definitely 30s. Lol. I have autoimmune issues too, with Lyme/Fibro/allergies/digestive issues of course I do. My list of supplements is long. But probiotics & enzymes are a must!.... Thank you :) for the congrats!! I'm down with weight/fitness buddies!! :)

"I only take CBD that i get through...ahem..."alternative sources" lol.  He gets the real stuff and it's powerful. I have had medical CBD too in the past, again via alternative sources. It's hard to get an Rx in this part of the country when you're on Medicaid. I work for myself so can't get normal insurance on my income. It's a problem but hey, i do what i can."

<<<>>>}<<< LOL alt sources, I need to find those here! But super high CBD with super low thc very difficult to find alternatively. & I've tried. It's hard to get an rx here too. I'd have to pay out of pocket .

"It sounds like you're doing pretty awesome yourself!  Overspending can be a problem for me, too - but only on, as you say, "healthy" things these days. No more bars for me. I spend on things like healthy foods and supplements.  You're about to get a new job? That's great!  I'll have to message you for juicy details re: that and your date...;)"

<<<>>>><<<Thank you :)  right this second this conversation is helping, just before it, I cycled into a panic attack, then crying fit, no reason of course. I didn't even know I could do that while hypermanic. Now I'm calmer, thank you :) Only reason that bar happened is the invite & he paid for everything of course, he's a gentleman :) & the details are indeed juicy ;)

 

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4 hours ago, Devotchka said:

 

I only take CBD that i get through...ahem..."alternative sources" lol.  He gets the real stuff and it's powerful. I have had medical CBD too in the past, again via alternative sources. It's hard to get an Rx in this part of the country when you're on Medicaid. I work for myself so can't get normal insurance on my income. It's a problem but hey, i do what i can. 

 

Keep in mind that recreational pot had CBD bred out of it years ago. CBD reduces the effect of THC. There is one strain I know of, Catotonic, that is mostly CBD with 15% THC. Few strains of cannabis contain a significant about of CBD, trace amounts,

I take hemp seed oil which is high in CBD and significantly cheaap and legal in all states.It comes is gel capsules of 1 gram. 60 tabs is about $7,00. 

Edited by notloki
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36 minutes ago, notloki said:

Keep in mind that recreational pot had CBD bred out of it years ago. CBD reduces the effect of THC. There is one strain I know of, Catotonic, that is mostly CBD with 15% THC. Few strains of cannabis contain a significant about of CBD, trace amounts,

I take hemp seed oil which is high in CBD and ch significant eap and legal in all states.It comes is gel capsules of 1 gram. 60 tabs is about $7,00. 

Yes, you're quite right -  i only take pure CBD in crystal form that has absolutely no THC in it, because i am actually allergic to it - it makes me quite psychotic, quite literally. I have schizoaffective disorder as well (which i just realized i need to put in my signature). The person i get it from gets it for himself to deal with his crippling anxiety, and has it available for people withdrawing from drug addiction as well. I asked about the THC content specifically and it has none. I feel it immediately. I can tolerate about 5% in medical grade formulas. One definitely has to be sure of one's source!

I find the OTC stuff does zilch for my pain, unfortunately. I was taking Ultram for it but prefer strong CBD instead. I use the oil all the time in my food and skincare, though. Great for my skin and overall health! 

Edited by Devotchka

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5 hours ago, notloki said:

Keep in mind that recreational pot had CBD bred out of it years ago. CBD reduces the effect of THC. There is one strain I know of, Catotonic, that is mostly CBD with 15% THC. Few strains of cannabis contain a significant about of CBD, trace amounts,

I take hemp seed oil which is high in CBD and significantly cheaap and legal in all states.It comes is gel capsules of 1 gram. 60 tabs is about $7,00. 

That's exactly what I need very little to no THC. I bought the Hemp seed oil, "CBD" oil (the stuff legal in all states; made from industrial hemp) and it did very little to nothing for my pain unfortunately.

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Im not Bipolar, possibly, and i mean possibly tossing the idea of cylcothymia around.

BUt day to do i wake up and dont know what im gonna gget, 

Also within a day for a few hours im happy, not hypomanic, happy, neutral. Then depressed, then verydepressed, sady, almost wanting a release.........its so maddening...........klonopin helps if i just keep it dosed steadily

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I am bipolar NOS.  The only thing that helped me with my rapid cycling is lamictal, but I still wake up with huge panic/depression, and goes away as soon as I take my meds and klonopin.  I feel anxious most of the day, but my nights are perfect.

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