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Tired and wired (kind of a rant I guess)


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Anyone get like this? I only managed to get an hour or two of sleep last night and I'm definitely feeling the effects of that. Exhaustion and everything, you know. Anyway, I go to see my therapist today and right off the bat she says I'm hypomanic by the way my eyes look I guess, and the fact that I was giggling and talking non-stop. I was definitely not acting like my normal self, I guess. The thing is, I'm not so sure if I'm actually going hypo. I'm not super full of energy or anything, my thoughts aren't racing, no grandiose ideas, etc. The only thing I guess would be my significantly uplifted mood that I started to get last night. I'm not feeling TOO good, just great. I don't see what the problem is, and now my therapist is trying to get my pdoc to bring my Lithium dose back up when I've been trying to get off of it! This is all very frustrating. I can't just go in to see my pdoc/therapist, fuck even my parents happy without them jumping to equations and invalidating my feelings by saying I'm just hypomanic. I can't fucking stand it. I CAN HAVE FEELINGS TOO. ANyway, my therapist aalso refuses to believe me when I say I've been taking all my meds. I have. I don't fucking miss doses. I know what happens when I do, and I don't want that to happen again. I just feel pretty great right now, and I don't want that to stop just yet. I like feeling something other than that perpetual ennui I experience whenever I'm not depressed.

I digress. I guess I'm just wondering if what I'm experiencing is just the effects of sleep deprivation or if I'm actually entering a hypomanic state. I want to know if what I'm feeling is real or not, I suppose.

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7 hours ago, friedcerebrum said:

I guess I'm just wondering if what I'm experiencing is just the effects of sleep deprivation or if I'm actually entering a hypomanic state. I want to know if what I'm feeling is real or not, I suppose.

I think what you are feeling is real. 

IMO, it could be from sleep deprivation ... so much can happen when a person hasn't slept in awhile.  Hypo can sometimes be triggered by a lack of sleep.

 

6 hours ago, friedcerebrum said:

I can't fucking stand it. I CAN HAVE FEELINGS TOO

I can relate to this so much.  My pdoc treats me the same way.  I mean ie, someone could have died and I'd be crying, and he'd think I needed more medication because I was crying ... he'd see it as a MI thing rather than me really having real feelings (like non -MI people have) about something.

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