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Hi,

I have what I like to consider pretty bad GAD and it is most prevalent when I am faced with time pressure and especially with assignments at school.

I always start telling myself "I can't do it" and all i want to do is run away and avoid the stress and do anything to avoid having to deal with it.

this usually takes the form of extensions and excuses and skipping classes and emailing profs, etc.

I've been doing really well this week but for some reason I can't let myself feel that or think to myself that maybe I can do it, because I keep saying to myself, just because I succeeded in the past how do I know I will this time.  I've also failed a lot in the past, so that could happen too.  

I even feel like writing this post is avoidance even though its really just me reaching out, but I feel pathetic that I can't just deal with my shit on my own.  

Right now I have a 1000 word paper due in 3 hours and I tried reading the articles that I need to read but I just got overwhelmed and started writing down all the thoughts that were going through my head. That helped a little because I got the thoughts out, and I guess that's what this is doing too.

I still am majorly fighting the urge to email my prof for an extension, which I prob will be able to get, and get on a bus to go home and hide in bed for as long as possible.  I just don't want to face this fear.  I freeze up any time I say to myself that I can't do it, and I will do anything to run away.

 

I guess what I want to know is does anyone else feel this, and if so, how do you cope without running and hiding.

 

Thanks

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I'm glad you reached out and wrote this post.  It takes a lot of courage to do that!

I noticed you wrote this post 12 hours ago ... did you do the paper?  Ask for an extension?

12 hours ago, voic.of.illogic said:

all i want to do is run away and avoid the stress

I can empathize with this ... stress is (for me) something that I hate, and I have it every day. 

I don't feel like I want to run and hide, but when the stress (and anxiety for me) builds up I like you, I just want to stay inside and not deal with anything at all. I also avoid doing things.  Eventually things get done, but it can take some time.

How is the clonazepam working for you?  Do you think you need a med tweak?  Does your DR and/or another one of your supports know how you are doing (as written in your original post)?

If you've told everything to others, what do they suggest?

I would suggest being very honest with everyone (supports) ... that is the only way people can help you (IMO).

Like I said above, maybe your pdoc can tweak a med or something? 

 

I also want to say that I think it is great that you have so much support! 

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Yes... I crumble under pressure and want to just run and hide. I can't live up to challenges. In high school I had the first signs of anxiety disorder, and I had my dad write sick notes for me while I was depressed and anxious. I missed maybe a month's worth of school due to it. And now I am missing work due to anxiety (and mania but that came on secondary to the terrible anxiety). 

It is really hard. I hope you are able to be ok!!!

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