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Hi guy's I'm going to cut a long story short here and get to the point and ask the questions I need help with tackling this disease !

Age 30 

6 2" (have worked as male model before , so  high aesthetics ?)

 Caucasian.

Some depression on both sides of the family although hard working and successful.

IQ - 120-125  

Highly musical , regarded as gifted by top music teachers in the country won major competitions as a child.  

Onset probably about 14 , hyper behavior in school . Behavioral problems at home above normally adolescent type. 

First depressive event aged  15 post first state examination. approx 4-5 days in duration 

Second depressive event aged 18 duration 1 month 

third and forth bout aged 20,  final happy(no anxiety) hypo manic period. 3-4 months pre depression . 

aged 21 beginning to get messy , break up with first GF and end up in hospital for one night . began lexpro 5 mg . 

Lexpro for 2 years , worked but have a feeling was hypomanic during the duration . Engaged in  crazy amounts of sex despite less libido ?! 

Racked up over 10 road traffic offences and got into a number of crazy bar fights. Including getting split open with a bottle . 

post lex no fight no tickets ... ??

Depression returned slight and dose increased . 10 then little depressed 3 months later 15 mg then 20 up to 25 mg . 

Started seeing a girl libido was poor. decided a quick taper was needed. Lost the girl(she thought I was taking drugs, mania eh?) and developed pure dysphoric hypo/mania , music sounded like the best mdma high ever. tears flowed. but also felt like shit and burned out,  impulsive af \partying constantly even though i didn't want to?! 

the next 6 years of my life have basically been a mix of bad to terrible . Constant severe anxiety , mood changing rapidly is this hypermanic ?-music and thoughts racing in my head high anxiety feeling but like I can take on the world, very high libido lots of causal sex but also mixed deep depressive spells. CBT did nothing . Impulsive buying , horrible sexual fantasy's ect. Seriously messed up , Suicidal a lot of the time! 

Due to my intelligence I have manged to get by 2 years of collage . But in running at 20% of what I could do . At my wits end earlier this year I tried lamitical  at 25 mg . I had some dry month at night ,and bloating . took it for 2 weeks and yes it was working slightly even at just 25mg . But the sides were starting to bug me ,so stupidly I believed that the calming effects were placebo I stopped taking it . The horror show that is my mind returned within 2 weeks. I blamed it on stress.I blame everything on some external event in my life.

Anyway had to defer one of my exams until next year. There is no hope in hell I will get through next year in collage, Unless i get this medicated properly I have finally excepted I have a chemical imbalance and its not going to go away. 

Questions:

I'm hoping to start up the Lamitical  again as I noted an improvement in my mood for sure in that brief two weeks. Should I ask my doctor for some benzo's while I titrate up .Do the side effects decease after time?. The bloating was really annoying as I am quite vain about my appearance .

Severe anxiety is the main symptom I have currently does lamitcal work on this for most people or should I add something else for this? 

Are ssri's a no no ? The lexapro had an effect on my anxiety but always scared me to start it up again as a mono treatment. 

Slightly hpyomanic writing this but maybe it's of some use lol. All help greatly appreciated,

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by rory-30
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Hi, Welcome to CB!

I can relate to most of what you are describing. I was also on lexapro for about 4 years.. and that drug really to be honest screwed me up, I went from manic to severe depression on it, I started Lamictal after and stopped all SSRI's for about 2 1/2 years...I also was on an AAP with Lamictal so it worked well together and yes.. the titrating wasn't bad with me.. it was just slow. 

It wouldn't be a bad idea to ask for some Benzo's they are def helpful.  yes, I hate to admit it , but I am pretty vain and I hate the side effects of meds because of weight gain but I have to pick my appearance or mental health. Lamictal actually made me lose weight, Lexapro is what made me gained all my weight and to this day I am still having a hard time getting it off. To answer your question, side effects tend to go away.

I know it's not fun.. starting the med go round, but it's worth it when you find the right cocktail.

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Thanks for the support , I've lost 7 years of my life so tbh, my appearance is not going ahead of my mental heath anymore I guess my anxiety makes me freak out at every little change. With the Lamitical i didn't gain and fat because weight increased by 3 pounds in two days and actually dropped after that just felt bloated and fat, was clearly just water retention . 

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With the weight, I understand and from what I understand specifically about Seroquel that I am taking is something that takes away the 'I am full feeling'....I have that feeling but happily got so thin after 4 month Manic episode I needed to regain....If we know these things about the meds then we just need to exercise, eat as much just better food? I cut sugar and avoid it as those highs and lows are not helpful for BP people anyway. ...If I am unhapppy with the way I look I get down, sounds like you are the same...So take meds, suffer the negatives but work like Crazy (excuse the pun) and work off the calories...I am swiming and doing weights at home...Think of this as part of your therapy, you willl in enjoy the buzz of the exercise too....nothing wrong in being concerned how you look...Its part of you and can help you feel good about yourself and we all need that.

 

 

 

  

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5 hours ago, KnickNak said:

I know it's not fun.. starting the med go round, but it's worth it when you find the right cocktail.

I agree ...

26 minutes ago, TimR said:

I cut sugar and avoid it as those highs and lows are not helpful

I have done this also ... not cut it entirely, but lowered it significantly, and I haven't even been hypo for a long time now, IME.

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I started back on the Lamitical today, 25 mg . I took it midday, what is the best time to take medication to reduce side effects when starting up? 

Also to add weight was 93.0kg before starting.

Edited by rory-30
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54 minutes ago, rory-30 said:

I started back on the Lamitical today, 25 mg . I took it midday, what is the best time to take medication to reduce side effects when starting up? 

Also to add weight was 93.0kg before starting.

My doctor has me take Lamictal in the morning to avoid the possibility of insomnia. You should check with your doctor to see when he/she wants you to take it.

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Lamictal titration has to be done slowly, and you may feel worse before you feel better. It can be very activating. If you're depressed, this may be a plus, but it can also make you cranky and irritable. Some of the side effects are weird, too, like the kind of muscle stiffness that makes you wonder if you picked up a truck and don't remember doing it, and a taste in your mouth like you've been sucking on an old penny, and itchy skin and benign rashes. Your skin will adapt, but prepare to sunburn more easily, and bug bites are going to suck. 

I have always taken it in the morning. No chance of sleeping otherwise.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Update , scraped the gabapentin horrible medication . Sticking it out with the lamitical , it's beginning to work feel happier and calmer. Slight effects easing  apart from slight headache hungover feeling going to increase water intake. Anyone have any tips on the headaches?   

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20 hours ago, rory-30 said:

Update , scraped the gabapentin horrible medication . Sticking it out with the lamitical , it's beginning to work feel happier and calmer. Slight effects easing  apart from slight headache hungover feeling going to increase water intake. Anyone have any tips on the headaches?   

The only advice that I have for dealing with the "Lamictal headache" is to power through them with aspirin and Tylenol. Don't overdo the Tylenol. The headache is one of those side effects that goes away once you reach your target dose and stay there for a while. In other words, the headache will go away eventually. I no longer have any side effects from the Lamictal I take.

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On 6/25/2017 at 3:22 PM, jt07 said:

The only advice that I have for dealing with the "Lamictal headache" is to power through them with aspirin and Tylenol. Don't overdo the Tylenol. The headache is one of those side effects that goes away once you reach your target dose and stay there for a while. In other words, the headache will go away eventually. I no longer have any side effects from the Lamictal I take.

Thanks, the headache is now mostly gone. But my anxiety has returned with a bang which is very annoying. I'm still only on 25 mg perhaps I need to move to a high dosage. Getting really sick of this.

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