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Between Episodesl


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I have BP 1 and have wanted to ask others to see if anyone else has this.

 

i used to have BIG swings both ways but since meds I don't. During everyday life I get some mild ups but they arent fun, but my usual manias are dysphoric. When ever I get in a stressful time( more than a few days) I start feeling like I am going to have an episode or quit functioning. Does anyone else have this? What is it called. I don't think it is mixed as my pdoc says I don't have this. Maybe I am just overly aware of every feeling I have.

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Since I started taking meds I've had some depressions that were bad enough to merit major med changes, but until last summer I hadn't had a mania that was really bad and distructive in over a decade. 

I've also noticed that my cycles, on meds, are very different. Before I followed a pretty clean three year pattern, roughly nine months of hypo-graduating-into-mania, then some dysphoric mania as I hit nine months of depression, then remission until it all started again.

Now my BP l seems to function more like BP ll, with more chronic lower-grade depression, and some hypomania. I'm sort of more overall stable and more symptomatic at the same time. The peaks and valleys are gone, but the middling stuff is around more. We've tried to medicate it out, but every combo we've tried has had worse side effects than the illness itself, so here I stay.

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