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Think I need some anti-depressants

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Brief history:

Hardly been in work since last April, to start with because I was smoking too much weed which just kills my motivation, but lately because of this terrible depression. Doesn't seem to make a difference whether I smoke weed or not these days (I'd like to avoid takling about drugs but my history of the last 6 years is full of drug use) - I still shouldn't smoke it but even without I spend most of my time in bed and can hardly even motivate myself to leave the house, do the dishes or talk to my parents.

        I've always been depressed but it got much worse at the end of last November when I dropped my anti-psychotic (amisulpride) dose by a third for two weeks. I'm back on the full dose but I still feel hopeless and lately I've been thinking about suicide. I can slip into a sort of zen state for hours lying in my bed thinking about slipping away. There might not be any threat of actual suicide: it might just be a way of taking my mind off getting a career and other issues. I just know the thought of suicide is kind of a comfort.

I'm 27, live with parents and live a pretty inactive life apart from sometimes seeing friends in the evening for a drink. There's loads of other issues that I don't want to go on about so I'll just say that I'm looking for information on anti-depressants. I'm going to get myself referred to a new psychiatrist (despite being on anti-psychotics I haven't seen the old one in 2 years because she's a bitch) and figure I'm going to be prescibed some anti-depressants. I've tried citalopram before and within half an hour of taking the lowest dose possible I was a braindead zombie with no notion of desire for anything in life and the nausea wasn't that great either. Apart from that I know nothing about anti-depressants. And I won't take anything that will makes you put on more weight (than the amisulpride has) 'cos I'm vain like that.

Cheers for any response.

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Hey you.

I'm sorry you're in such a bad state right now. I know what it feels like. From the sound of it, you might need an antidepressant. http://www.crazymeds.us has loads of information. I can understand why you're afraid of the zombie effect, I got that too on Zyprexa. It sucks. But the right antidepressant shouldn't make you feel like a zombie. There are tons of them out there, so you just have to keep trying, unfortunately. Eventually you will find something that works. I did. Don't give up because some of them might now work. And even if no antidepressant works, there are other options, like mood stabilizers. But I think an antidepressant would be the most logical thing to try first.

Really try to get a referal to a new pdoc, someone you feel comfortable bringing up all your issues with.

Hoping you get help and feel better soon!

Keep me updated.

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Hang in there, lost.

Getting a new pdoc, good! Trying new meds sucks but when you find one that helps you will be so very grateful. Don't give up on yourself. Also remember many antidepressants can make you feel blah and apathetic in the beginning, but when it finally hits its stride 4 to 6 weeks in, you should feel better even with that strange apathy.

Do lots of research and try not to be afraid of side effects you read about. Just because some can happen does not mean they will. For every med there are people who hate it and people who love it.  You won't know until you try it.

By the way I take paxil, one that is well know to cause most people weight gain. It doesn't make me gain weight. Of course I am a bit older and know I can't eat as much I used to either.

Hopefully as you heal your mind with the right meds you won't need the smoke. ;)


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Checked out crazymeds and don't like the sound of any of them, except maybe wellbutrin. And adderall, but I'd probably end up abusing that and I know from experience that amphetamine psychosis is not nice.

I'm going to try and change pyschs but speaking to my MI friend this is difficult in the UK for a number of reasons, not least because it makes the local health trust's statistics look bad. Still I'll try. Trouble is I hate the psych I'm signed up with because she just wants to put me on clozaril for some reason - I don't know why, amisulpride takes care of my psychosis fine and clozaril has a whole load more dodgy side-effects including weight gain. I recently lost weight and if I gained loads again I'd definitely be suicidal..

I need to get back into the local mental health system somehow. I want lots of tea and sympathy with nice nurses, doctors, scientists and other patients. Maybe I'm a mental health junky, maybe we all are, maybe better off dead... nah it's a beautiful day today and I'm feeling better.

Hmmm this is all a bit off-topic, maybe should have posted in a more general section of the site.

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