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hey people.

I have primary anorgasmia and sexaul aversion. I've never had an orgasm in my entire life. Recently i started taking Wellbutrin and started feeling optimistic and kind of happy. When i looked in the mirror i thought for the first time "i'm kind of cute," instead of noting all of my inperfections. Internally i know i'm worthless, i'm crap, etc, etc. I sort of have an inferioty complex so i work myself to death to achieve alot more then most people and still feel like crap after doing soo. I'm about to graduate with my ba 3 years out of hs and am already in grad school. I'll have my MBA Accounting/Finance next year or 4 years out of hs, then i'll start my Doctorate of juris prudence.  I also try to dress nice and have starved/anphetamined my self to being thin. I also work out. But i just know interally that i'm just so worthless.  When i get hit on by girls or guys, I just look at them and think "why are they lieing to me, no one could ever find me attractive, i'm worhless. They are just lieing to me." 

I really think my anorgasmia comes from my inablity to ever think of myself in any way being sexual. The wellbutrin has been helping but i was wondering if anyone knew how to convince myself that i'm not worthless and also how to help my anorgasmia.

thanks

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hey people.

I have primary anorgasmia and sexaul aversion. I've never had an orgasm in my entire life. Recently i started taking Wellbutrin and started feeling optimistic and kind of happy. When i looked in the mirror i thought for the first time "i'm kind of cute," instead of noting all of my inperfections. Internally i know i'm worthless, i'm crap, etc, etc. I sort of have an inferioty complex so i work myself to death to achieve alot more then most people and still feel like crap after doing soo. I'm about to graduate with my ba 3 years out of hs and am already in grad school. I'll have my MBA Accounting/Finance next year or 4 years out of hs, then i'll start my Doctorate of juris prudence.

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hey people.

I have primary anorgasmia and sexaul aversion. I've never had an orgasm in my entire life. Recently i started taking Wellbutrin and started feeling optimistic and kind of happy. When i looked in the mirror i thought for the first time "i'm kind of cute," instead of noting all of my inperfections. Internally i know i'm worthless, i'm crap, etc, etc. I sort of have an inferioty complex so i work myself to death to achieve alot more then most people and still feel like crap after doing soo. I'm about to graduate with my ba 3 years out of hs and am already in grad school. I'll have my MBA Accounting/Finance next year or 4 years out of hs, then i'll start my Doctorate of juris prudence.

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 4 weeks later...

Hope that is helping.

Depression can really reduce your sexual feelings. If you stop being depressed, don't be surprised if this all changes. A lot. Especially if you continue to take Welbutrin. You may find it takes quite a bit of getting used to.

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Another update.

I saw several doctors had examinations and tests, etc.

I now realize I have preformance anxiety and overall bad feelings about sex. MY subconcous has labeled sex as bad and me as unworthy and incapable so my brain's anxiety sends signals to stop sexual activity, etc because it's trying to protect me because on a subconcous level i think sex is bad and my brain is trying to protect me from a bad thing....

I see the therapist on tommorrow to talk about this.

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The traditional solution for this is getting drunk, followed by shotgun wedding and never again wanting to do it. (Ok, this must be wrong, since I see so many families with more than one kid, not of the same age.)

Perhaps you'll find something better.

It may be helpful if you can find a relaxed enough situation where various kinds of touching don't necessarily imply screwing. When it goes from nerve wracking to a combination of relaxation alternated with frustration, you'll be getting somewhere. No need to hurry, though certain body parts may insist otherwise.

Do you do a lot of physical things, like sports or hiking, or climbing trees (ok, that's frowned upon, I suppose)? Going to the gym probably helps, but the more you are forced to live in your body instead of in that glowing CRT, the more you will be comfortable in it. And, when people hit on you, there's a reason. Unless you are flashing a lot of cash, there is something about you personally, whether it's personality or physique, that they like. Tell yourself, out loud if you're alone, "People think I'm attractive." If you hear it enough times, you might believe it in your gut.

Another body conscious thing which might, I warn you, result in a date or something, is to go dancing. This is probably a lot easier at some kind of folk dancing event, which may seem incredibly corny, but fun. Takes a bit of nerve, a good mood, and possibly a friend along.

Please don't overdo the amphetamine/weight loss thing. I've seen what anorexia looks like from the outside, and it's scary. And not necessary to get dates, either.

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Another update.

I saw several doctors had examinations and tests, etc.

I now realize I have preformance anxiety and overall bad feelings about sex. MY subconcous has labeled sex as bad and me as unworthy and incapable so my brain's anxiety sends signals to stop sexual activity, etc because it's trying to protect me because on a subconcous level i think sex is bad and my brain is trying to protect me from a bad thing....

I see the therapist on tommorrow to talk about this.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think I have this issue as well....I realize I have preformance anxiety.  This is in all aspects after being a competitive gymanst and dancer when I was younger.  I had so much talent as a gymnast it was sick.  All the horror stories you here are true... Every since then I've been fucked up with competition and anxiety issues... urgh.

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My first "suggestion" was satirical. One sexual episode, no matter how satisfactory, is worth decades of regret. Even such an authority as Shakespeare agrees with you, tho he was discussing the more obvious male side of it. However, the traditional solution traditionally occurs between the ages of, say, 16 and 20, so the hydraulics tend to be more robust, and only need to function for one of the parties. The alcohol just loosens  inhibitions. Unfortunately, someone I know is in the middle of a similar scenario, with additional complications.

I still have problems getting off myself, tho, without Prozac, I can get there. When I was 14 I read about premature ejaculation and decided it was an awful thing. I practiced taking a long time, and now I have no choice. Unless I hold my breath until I turn blue. And I think I still have a leftover effect from Prozac. But working up to it is not unpleasant.....

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The traditional solution for this is getting drunk, followed by shotgun wedding and never again wanting to do it. (Ok, this must be wrong, since I see so many families with more than one kid, not of the same age.)

Perhaps you'll find something better.

It may be helpful if you can find a relaxed enough situation where various kinds of touching don't necessarily imply screwing. When it goes from nerve wracking to a combination of relaxation alternated with frustration, you'll be getting somewhere. No need to hurry, though certain body parts may insist otherwise.

Do you do a lot of physical things, like sports or hiking, or climbing trees (ok, that's frowned upon, I suppose)? Going to the gym probably helps, but the more you are forced to live in your body instead of in that glowing CRT, the more you will be comfortable in it. And, when people hit on you, there's a reason. Unless you are flashing a lot of cash, there is something about you personally, whether it's personality or physique, that they like. Tell yourself, out loud if you're alone, "People think I'm attractive." If you hear it enough times, you might believe it in your gut.

Another body conscious thing which might, I warn you, result in a date or something, is to go dancing. This is probably a lot easier at some kind of folk dancing event, which may seem incredibly corny, but fun. Takes a bit of nerve, a good mood, and possibly a friend along.

Please don't overdo the amphetamine/weight loss thing. I've seen what anorexia looks like from the outside, and it's scary. And not necessary to get dates, either.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

my problem isn't getting girls. Infact on this stupid internet thing face book i was named on of my university's 50 hottest students... (lol lame i know). I just have absolutly no interest. My doctor told me my depression was pretty bad and he thinks it's causing all my sexual poblems.

I love dancing. I like to go to clubs and dance it's fun.

yeah i've gotten off the anphetamine.

thanks for your help, but i just feel like a lost cause.

fergie

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Another update.

I saw several doctors had examinations and tests, etc.

I now realize I have preformance anxiety and overall bad feelings about sex. MY subconcous has labeled sex as bad and me as unworthy and incapable so my brain's anxiety sends signals to stop sexual activity, etc because it's trying to protect me because on a subconcous level i think sex is bad and my brain is trying to protect me from a bad thing....

I see the therapist on tommorrow to talk about this.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think I have this issue as well....I realize I have preformance anxiety.

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Awwww you're a cutie ;)   I don't neceassarily have performance anxiety but maybe I do.  I can't O from just sex... I have to have manual stimulation.  And it takes a good while too ... it sucks.  But when it happens its great!!

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  • 3 weeks later...

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