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I need to talk about something, and you may not like it

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I'm so fucking tired of this damn war on drugs. The persecution of doctors and even pharmacists (YES - PHARMACISTS are losing their licences in FL for filling "too many" 100% legit scripts - not forgeries, but by doctors with active DEA credentials appropriately medicating -- not some crazy ass amount of oxycodone or worse).  It leaves people like me, in chronic hard-core pain (that's only gotten worse) crying in bed from the pain.  Doctors are too afraid to treat their patients.

Meanwhile.. it's all about the poor, innocent, helpless victims of a world where pain meds exist and they've gone out of their way to get shit illegally - over -and over - and over again in order to feed a habit rather than face up to their internal demons. And it's a DISEASE.  REALLY? REALLY? FUCK THAT SHIT! It's a CHOICE. Mental issues and a physical predisposition exists, but taking one damn 5mg hydrocodone does not make someone an addict for life and take free will out of one's control.

People are dying from Fentanyl made to look like other shit.  Well, it is an illegal drug market about money and regular deaths when dealers get pissed off.  What the hell do you really expect.  Yet they're the "Victims".  No.  Victims don't make consistent choices over the course of months or even years to do something they're fully aware of the consequences of and decide they don't care and would rather be high and risk it.  And still continue to risk it, knowing it's on the market.  What do they do - buy test strips.  It's like personal responsibility no longer exists.  Probably because politicians sons and daughters are getting addicted.  It couldn't possibly be the environment they were raised in, or that they have personal issues -- nope, it's gotta be caused by some evil in the shadows that came after their poor, innocent children and hurt them.

You don't become an addict overnight and you don't get over it overnight. It's a long slow process made up of many choices.  People aren't so idiotic that they don't know what that choice they're making is.  Noo.. addiction is all about the drugs being there; whereas, mental illness is a conscious personal failing you should just be able to magically get over & not doing so is a choice.

I just saw a neurologist.  He said I'd just have to live with the pain cause I've been on all the psych meds.. and throwing opiates at it isn't a reasonable thing.  ......  Yet, after all the psych meds that were never developed to handle fibromyalgia.. the OFFICIAL medication treatment guideline says : OPIATES.  And the really sad thing is - it works for mine.

Honestly, .. I've thought about going and buying the fake shit that's actually fentanyl, dissolving it in two quarts (or even gallons) of liquid, and dosing it in tsp.  Actually seems pretty damn cost effective considering the price of medications.  I'm not going to do it.  There's probably other shit in there that'll mess with my MI chemistry/meds too.  But I considered it.

This system is fucked.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I recommend kratom.  It narrowly missed being outlawed by the DEA last fall, but... It acts like a (relatively mild) opiate. It can not be injected or snorted or smoked (actually it can physically be smoked, it's just not going to have an psychoactive effect).  It's sold as an herbal product, still legal (although you're bound to get ripped off in stores, try buying on the internet).  If one takes too much, it was make one nauseous, so overdosing is basically impossible.  And it's a whole lot easier to get for withdrawing opiate addicts than bupe.  Doctors get a hard time from medical boards and the DEA for prescribing a medication that helps addicts stay clean.  Buprenorphine is also a medication for pain control. You might want to get a new pshrink and ask for bupe or even methadone.  

Your "choice" idea is really poor, though. You're bitter, it's understandable, but a lot of people have been hooked on oxycodone BY THEIR PHYSICIANS.  You should blame irresponsible doctors, and irresponsible pharmaceutical companies, not the victims. The fact that addiction is amenable to medical treatment. "Choices" don't get better from medical treatment. Addiction does. You're just another person blaming victims for their problems- as are many of the anti-drug crusaders who are keeping the meds from you. You're kinda buying into exactly the philosophy which keeps you from getting medication in the first place. People also suffer from being overweight, and this is presented as a choice, when genetics and hormones have a it more to do with it than "willpower".

I don't really understand why you're weaving this fantasy of fentanyl into your personal suffering. Why do you entertain this fantasy of scoring "fake" fentanyl-laced heroin? Perhaps you have some idea that scoring opiates like oxycodone isn't actually that hard, while your complicated fantasy about fentanyl is. Keep meeting fellow patients in hospitals and doctor offices, tell them your story. I've heard street price of Oxys, there are a lot of little dirt poor old ladies on Medicare who are getting bottles of 30 for $8, and it's too tempting for them not to sell at least some of them. Really, it's your choice not to go the illegal route-  you complain about "addiction" not being real; well how "real" is your complaint they're not available to you?  Are you afraid of finding out you're wrong about addiction and "personal choice?"  I think you are and are right to be afraid. Note I'm not really advocating really scoring opiates, I just think you're ideas about addicts getting what they deserve is pretty cold-hearted, and a bit hypocritical on your part.

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  • 2 weeks later...

hey there, yes kratom  is a good idea but it can NOT be smoked or snorted. Thats crazy talk. You can buy the powder online and put it in veggie caps.

It has a mild pain killing effect. To your other point: how would you find fentanyl? it's not like anyone advertise "heres vicodin laced with...".

I understand it's frustrating. I can't recommend buying oxycodone or vic's.    hey Geared, I wasn't thinking, Im sorry.


good luck.

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removing info we don't permit
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I've heard in various places that marijuana helps with pain management. If you decide to break the law, that might be the best direction to break it in. It would be nice if the feds would give up the ban, but I imagine that's not happening for a while. It appears the DOJ (feds) have decided to make it more of a scapegoat than it has been lately. If it became legal enough you could even know how much you were getting. Check NORML about the legal situation,  though I can't guarantee it's accurate.

I don't look down on addicts. Rather, I feel lucky that I don't seem very susceptible to addiction to substances other than coffee, and I was able to give that up, painful as it was. I was legitimately on opiates for a while, but had no trouble dropping them. My grandmother was prescribed the same addictive medication by two different doctors and got hooked for a while. I gather getting off it wasn't easy. I used to sit in the next cubicle over from someone who got hooked on pain killers after an injury. He lost his job, and his position as a scoutmaster.

I really wonder if the drug war does any "good", especially when compared to the damage it does. I often have trouble getting meds for my ADD because of it. 

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  • 1 month later...

People with chronic pain get addicted, too. It's not just whiny little problem avoiders. And if you ask an addict the day they chose to be an addict, I guarantee none of them can tell you. Most of them came from situations where chemical dependency was the norm. Most of them have mental health issues, to begin with and start self-medicating. You sure do seem to demonize them. I get angry, too. I also have severe debilitating pain that my doctor is too afraid to treat with opiates because I am a mentally ill liability. She doesn't see me as a suffering patient in need of relief. She sees me as a threat to her medical license and she's even made that clear. It sickens me. My pain is real. My pain is horrible. And I should not be forced to just "deal with it" but I am. I still don't blame the addicts or anyone who is suffering because of opiates. It's a fucked system, but I agree with Colorado Kid.It hits a nerve because I've been through addiction, just not to opiates. For me, all it took was a bad childhood, bad self-esteem, suicidal ideation, familial drug use, and one bad choice to get me rolling into addiction. 

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Just to be clear, I'm not blaming addicts - I'm blaming society that believes that if only these evil medications could be stopped, there wouldn't be any addicts.  That nobody would do drugs and all would be saved.

There are of course instances of doctors prescribing much higher doses and amounts than are justified to people who have never been on opiates before, and aren't aware of the dependency element or potential addiction.  Adolescents and the Elderly come to mind.  I sympathize with that & that was negligent. However, in the current environment, I think you'd be hard pressed to find that naïveté anymore.

But even then, there's a difference between chemical dependency and addiction.  Some people are lucky and get neither, some become dependent, and the unlucky find they have the chemistry where it becomes more about the high than pain relief.  But, what one does after that is a direct action and choice.  Honestly, I believe in free will, so if they decide to chase that high, that's their choice.  It is a decision though.  It may be hard to resist in many, but that doesn't alleviate personal choice - and ultimate responsibility.

It's those who aren't addicts, who want to believe that it's not their loved ones fault/choice/decision at all - that simply taking it overrode everything and decided their actions for them - That, I hate.  They can't bear to think their loved one shares any responsibility, and in turn, are now crusading to keep anyone from having access.

Addiction isn't the drug. Addiction is a behavioral way of coping.

I won't bother refuting the individual things I didn't actually say.


Thank you for those who showed support for my situation & how messed up this system has become.

And, to clarify, the Fentenyl bit was just an unfiltered process of thought rant.. mostly based on, "fine, you try to end opiates only to bring this killer drug onto the streets - fuck you.. I'll just use that then, AND I'll save money off prescription costs." Of course, the logistics of that are ultimately idiotic, so it ruled out itself. I'm actually a firm believer in having prescriptions.

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  • 1 month later...
On 9/12/2017 at 5:55 AM, Iceberg said:

I agree that people in severe pain should get their meds regardless of what else is going on. Everyone talks about addiction but what about the cancer patients or severely injured who now can't get adequate pain control. 


I actually just did an MRI today to look for spinal compression in my neck.  My neurologist said that finding something would likely allow me access to the pain medication he already believes I need, but can't give me due to this mess.

I honestly don't know how I want it to come back..

A part of me is actually hoping he's right about me having a spinal cord injury.  All so that a doctor's ass is covered enough to prescribe how they wish to - and I could actually treat my pain.

So fucked up.

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