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Edited: I didn't mean to post "first" version..


I am not diagnosed did. Just wondering whether or not it should be on my radar or if this sounds anything like what you guys go through. If I'm  onto something, or I'm being stupid.

I used to practice my handwriting when I was in school to make it cooler/neater, whatever. Nowadays, I find that my writing DRASTICALLY changes, sometimes not for days, sometimes in the same sentence, or word even. They are very distinctive; a girly print, big letters no slant// a sort of creative print slants left// scribble scrabble, and lately a really  beautiful cursive slanting right.//sometimes, a mix.  Most times, it happens automatically, sometimes I can switch it mindfully.. I include this b/c I know handwriting can say alot about your personality. 

I misplace/forget things ALL THE TIME> i am not at the age where it's normal to be forgetting stuff like this. I'll remember for a FACT where I put something, and behold, it's not there! Sometimes, it's in a more convenient location (ie;keys by door), but i have also found my open drink in the cupboard. ( I forget people's names, and sometimes people who are close to me seem completely foreign(or new).  I forget why I'm in a room, what I'm doing, (I know that's not really abnormal, but it happens frequently enough to be frustrating and interfere w/ my timing). 

I dissociate alot. sometimes seems cartoony. Esp when I'm driving. (Car-toony) and esp on the freeway. (maybe bc of anxiety?) used to be able to snap out of it, but now I feel like I can't. I don't "go out of body" though I have once, (but the situation was fitting) i used to feel alot like I was going to "fall out of my body"

My mind changes frequently, and intensely. I have several almost polar opposite beliefs/ views (well 2 polar opposite). And it's INCREDIBLY difficult for me to make any kind of decision. Usually, I opt that something in the middle would be best, like a compromise, but it's like I never actually do that, BC I change my thought again. Basically, I can not "mull it over" I have to take immediate action if I ever want to do anything, though most of the time I come to the "conclusion"  that i'd be best if I "mull it over." 

Awhile ago, I used to have horrible "fights w myself" basically at the time it felt like my hemispheres were seperate in their thinking, and kept proving the other side wrong, and displaying thier own correctness until i thought one side was true, then the other would say "but--something something something" & do the same thing. and so on and so forth. back n forth. ONE time, I had smoked weed and "saw" people in my head that were "making me say their words." 

I would go back n forth (as a kid) from being "good", to being "bad". (These periods would last long though.) i was sort of obsessed w/ morals, and being especially afraid of breaking them (whether or not i was conscious of it.(in other words, fear of lose of control over myself and doing something bad.) 

Not sure if that does anything, sorry if I am being a wimp here or what, I wanted to get real opinions from people who truly do deal w did or connecting factors. Thankyou for reading if you're down here, I would really like to hear (read) any feedback at all.


Edited by grape.guice
wasn't done
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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi, I'm sorry you never got a reply for some reason.

All of that definitely sounds incredibly distressing... I don't know if it could be DID or not but I hope you get a proper response soon!

Edited by theredthread
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Hi. Sorry i didn't jump in earlier. I also have handwriting that is way different from day to day. I have also practiced too, so you are not alone in that!

I hope you can find some kind of professional support in person in addition to here. 

Edited by theforest
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It makes sense. Dissociation is a spectrum disorder, though. Sometimes people have these experiences and they don't have DID. So it's not fate or anything.

But yeah, I get it. I have lots of different handwritings. And I get the self-fighting and self-acrimony. I never really realized how spaced out I was until after I had a name for it, though. 

Sometimes for decision-making I find it helpful to do a poll. Just sort of think/project around "I want [x]. Any opinions?" And then, if you're curious, you can ask for reasons behind the decision.

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