My mood has been absolutely deplorable for the past month or so. I honestly don't know how to begin to describe how bad it is. I have a lot of the "negative" symptoms, a profound deficit of positive affect. Nothing in life gives me pleasure, suicidal thoughts begin to surface, and I sometimes descend further into psychotic depression. These are my depressive episodes. I don't know how else to paint the picture more thoroughly because I never know what to say, and it really bothers me when I'm like that when I'm around my boyfriend. I want to talk, but I can never think of anything to say, so I rely on him to start conversations.
I don't get it... Dopamine has been posited to be a central neurotransmitter in the pathenogenesis of anhedonia, and I'm on multiple meds that supposedly on their own and in combinations with other meds I'm taking can treat anhedonia. What am I missing??
I'm on Dexedrine up to 60 mg as needed, Vyvanse 50 mg, Wellbutrin 200 mg, Viibryd 40 mg (increases dopamine via postsynaptic 5-HT1A receptor stimulation), Vraylar 3 mg... What else could possibly help?
There's no relief in sight when I'm like this.
I am taking stimulants for numerous reasons--primarily for ADHD and idiopathic hypersomnia, but also because I'm obese and trying to lose weight (with diet and exercise of course) and because amphetamines heretofore have been the only thing that really make me a functioning human being.
I was curious though. From y'all's experience, which stimulant inhibited appetite and/or caused more weight loss, that is, between Ritalin (and all their products), Focalin, Adderall, Dexedrine, or some other stimulant. I have actually even taken Desoxyn, twice, and to be honest, it's nowhere near as potent as Adderall or Dexedrine.
To my understanding, appetite inhibition can be extricable from weight loss; i.e., one can lose weight from a medicine without experiencing much appetite suppression, one can experience drug-induced anorexia without losing much weight, or both at the same time, or neither.
IME, so far, this is what I've experienced... I'll list the stimulant/anorectic and max dose taken.
Dexedrine (60 mg) Adderall (60 mg) Dexedrine Spansules (30 mg) Adipex-P (37.5 mg) Adderall XR (90 mg) Wellbutrin IR/SR/XL (450-500 mg) Bontril-PDM (210 mg) Tenuate (75 mg) Desoxyn (15 mg) Vyvanse (70 mg) Adzenys XR-ODT Metadate CD (20 mg) Ritalin (30 mg) Focalin XR (25 mg) Evekeo (20 mg) Belviq XR (20 mg) Tenuate Dospan (75 mg) Contrave (32 mg/360 mg) Weight loss:
Dexedrine (60 mg) Adderall (60 mg) Adipex-P (37.5 mg) Tenuate (75 mg) Dexedrine Spansules (30 mg), Adderall XR (90 mg) Wellbutrin IR/SR/XL Desoxyn (15 mg) Bontril-PDM (210 mg) Metadate CD (20 mg) Belviq XR (20 mg), Evekeo (20 mg), Focalin XR (25 mg), Ritalin (30 mg), Vyvanse (70 mg) Contrave (32 mg/360 mg), Tenuate Dospan (75 mg), Adzenys XR-ODT So I've not tried very high doses of the (dex)methylphenidate meds, and have been curious about trying a higher dose (40-60 mg, maybe higher). Focalin might be okay, but it gave me tremors, anxiety, and panic attacks at 25 mg. Vyvanse did nothing much at all except jack my resting heart rate up to 120+ BPM.
This list was very hard to compile, and I don't really know if it's too accurate.
I'm heavily considering trying methylphenidate again, specifically Metadate CD, because I actually felt something on it as opposed to regular Ritalin. I was considering asking my NP for a Metadate CD dose of 30-60 mg, or maybe 30 mg x2 or something like that, with some Ritalin 5-10 mg, maybe 20 mg, to take 1/2-1 up to three times per day prn.
The tried and true med is Dexedrine for me, specifically the IR, but I want to give that a break for a little while.
I'm curious to see how (dex)methylphenidate affects my ADHD more than it affects my weight loss/appetite suppression as well.
I know this post was rather scattered and long, but if you made it through it, any input would be much appreciated!
My brief period (6 months) on Sertraline has been that it sapped my creativity and basically made me not want to do anything, not feel anything. I just sit at the computer and watch videos and occasionally walk around, or eat, or go to the bathroom. I just don't have any drive to really do very much of anything, except what is needed for continued survival. I don’t even want to watch movies and series!
Is that normal?
I somehow ran out of Dexedrine before my next prescription was labeled to be able to be filled this past weekend... Don't know how. I never abuse my stimulants. I take them as prescribed, religiously and meticulously, dispensed in my pill planner every week. I have heretofore never taken "drug holidays" though. So anyway, this forced me to take a one-day drug holiday from my usual 60 mg/day Dexedrine, and I can say that it was absolutely dreadful.
I'm taking it mainly for ADHD-PI, but also for treatment resistant bipolar depression and hypersomnia unspecified, as well as to assist with weight loss. Just one day without, and I slept practically all day, and when I wasn't asleep, I was either a weeping, ugly-crying mess, or I was binge eating. I gained 3 lb the next day, which I know isn't a whole bunch, but, you know... I'm pretty sensitive about weight gain.
I filled my Dexedrine a day later than the day was indicated so as to not look like I was "looking for a fix..." especially since I'm trying to get a job at the pharmacy at which I fill my prescriptions, start back on my Dexedrine, and two days later (today), I am feeling better than I've felt in about in month or so (before I switched to Rexulti and ruined everything good I had going for me). I felt like I did right when I switched from 40 mg to 60 mg, my mood was shining and gleaming, I was talkative and laughing, I wanted to do things and wanted to go out of the house, I didn't want to eat everything in sight. TL;DR: I was back to my normal self +1.
My question is, would there be some advantage to taking some sort of "pseudo-drug holiday" wherein I sort of alternate between 30 mg and 60 mg each day, or take 30 mg on the weekends and 60 mg during the week days or something like that? Or no? Has anyone tried this sort of regimen? I don't want to NOT take my Dexedrine, that was pretty damn terrible the day I went without it. I guess it does show how dependent I am on it though... But any input would be appreciated.