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That's it for me.

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my pdoc is tired of me she tried every single meds on me with no luck and eventually in this last appointment she looked me and said "mmmmm...strange this is a rare case " then i knew that i'm doomed with this psychic pain forever....well if i have left 5 yrs of my life to live i would hold on to it and be patient until i die but sadly I'm 25 yrs god knows how much pain left for me to live :( so wtf with taking meds if they're not not working and causing more suffering to me. I've been put on every damn antipsychotic newer and older with very potent doses and on mood stabilizers tegretol lamictal depakote, antidepressants with different types ssri's tca's nsri's .

i guess i'm not meant to be well on this life,  i'm living in a world of my own i keep pushing and pushing a day is like forever for me well enough writing... i need books to describe the suffering, i used to be religious muslim man who believes mercifulness of god and how kind he is, not anymore I believe god is cruel and injustice, is he enjoying watching me in pain?! it's he's fault I blame him for that because he created me and put this fuck incurable disease on me i will not ever forgive him for what he's done to me let him burn me in hell for this cuz i m already in hell

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it took me four pdocs to get any tangible results, my first one basically did what yours did, but there are good doctors out there. and not to trivialize the situation i know your really suffering, but i thought i had tried every med for my mood issues and then i found a doc who helped me. maybe theres one that can help you- maybe a specialist in your condition

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I know the hell youre talking about, isbipo. I've gone through 24 meds in varying combinations and doses to get to the current cocktail of four that work. It took years. 

Living with mental illness can do terrible, painful things to a person's faith. Have you read any of the threads in the Spirituality forum? They're food for thought.

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