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Living alone & lovin' it?


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For the first time in my life I'm living completely alone. This wasn't my choice but there are aspects I love. Any crayzee folks who live alone have suggestions for the newly alone?

-  I am eating terribly. On the run, on my feet, gobbling quickly. I have no one to cook for so I'm not cooking. I'm eating things I don't normally eat and my stomach is constantly upset

- Who do I talk to besides the kitties? My mind is always on fire. And up till this point, discussing issues with my two cats has worked. I have good friends to talk to but when my girl came home from camp and ex-hubs was in the house I realized how much I missed telling someone when Mr. Kitty leapt after the bird in the backyard.   Not the serious stuff but the everyday things. Living in my head is dangerous  

- when friends want me to do things with them because I am alone I feel like I have to and if I don't, that means I'm being antisocial. But that's not always true

-  The worst is the exit stench of shit. Lol!! Existential. And projecting into the future. Late at night trying to fall asleep, my demons come out and rise up in protest against my blessed life, convincing me that living alone means I am alone and lonely.

 

 What do you like most about living alone? Anyone in love and still living alone? Anyone fall in love and move in with someone and wish they were still alone?

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

On my own on vacation. So far so good. I answered some of the questions.

1. Eating better - Frozen Amy Indian organic meals. Tahini and rice cakes. Lots of cucumbers and onions which I love and can cutup easily.  Rotisserie Chicken. Stuffed grape leaves. Big hunk greek cheese which does not upset my stomach.  Bags of gluten free chips which I think ARE upsetting my stomach. lol

2. I started writing in my journal again. All the little demonish thoughts that creep out. AND, I realized that before I wasn't really talking to myself out loud. I was talking to my critical voice. NOW I am talking to me!

3. Being absolutely alone in the woods has turned out to be easier than being alone at home. Nothing around but my books, art supplies, the river and bed. Not much to stress me out.

HOWEVER, I got depressed last night. The existential shit. Why I am doing this? Who the fuck am I anyway? I am a useless piece of crap doing nothing for the world. Same demons that get me at home. So I went to sleep very early, and woke up. FIne. Like at home. I am a little nervous now, but not much.

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I live alone and usually I love it. Food is an issue. Salad in a bag (if that's a thing where you live), fruit and yogurt, hot or cold cereal are options. Frozen stuff, as you've found. I can cook but rarely do. Pasta with butter and cheese or olive oil, garlic, and maybe something else are pretty easy. 

I call people and have online friends. And my dogs are good company. I only see friends if I want to. But I love being able to have all the lights on and TV plus radio at the same time. I'd think long and hard before living with someone again. The chatting is nice but now I can keep my own hours, cook and clean what and when I want, and not have to consider what someone else wants. I'm never bored or lonely. It worries me that I'd be expected to live with someone I loved. It would be an adjustment although I've been married and prior to that had housemates. Living alone has advantages. 

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I live alone, and I love it. I haven't had a relationship where I got to the point of moving in with someone, and as soon as I was reliably earning enough money to afford an apartment by myself I ditched the roommates thing. As far as cooking, I make things that I can eat as leftovers. In the winter, things like soups and stews reheat well, and things like stirfry aren't bad reheated. In the summer I don't feel like cooking as much, but will make things like homemade pasta salad with lots of cut up vegetables and keep this in my fridge for several days. Or get fixings for sandwiches and wraps and mix them up in different combinations (although it sounds like you may be gluten free, so this might not be the best). 

I often fall asleep to music or put on television shows that I've seen before just to have background noise which cuts the introspection. I just make sure it's not something too stimulating.

I'm an introvert, so living by myself allows me to come home and recharge, and then go do things with friends without feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, so I'm not much help on the other issues. 

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omy gosh, thank YOU so much @thunder and @sugarsugar

You have NO idea how consoling it is to hear from you two. I am enjoying parts of this - and it is hard to understand because I have NOT been alone for so long. Even in my 20's and early 30's, I had roommates. 

On 8/6/2017 at 1:41 PM, thunder said:

I'm an introvert, so living by myself allows me to come home and recharge, and then go do things with friends without feeling exhausted and overwhelmed

YES YES YES YES.  Me too. An extroverted introvert, or something to that effect. 

 

On 8/6/2017 at 0:43 PM, sugarsugar said:

But I love being able to have all the lights on and TV plus radio at the same time. I'd think long and hard before living with someone again. The chatting is nice but now I can keep my own hours, cook and clean what and when I want, and not have to consider what someone else wants.

YES YES YES YES. lol.  Right now, on vacation somewhere I have been going for over two decades, but this is the first time alone, I am thrilled when I wake up and can walk around doing whatever I want. I can go swimming and not worry about bringing food for everyone or who is coming to the river and who is not. So much of my mind is all about taking care of other people, this feels like freedom.

Thank you for the food suggestions. For some reason, I am COOKING!  The lady who owns the place keeps bringing me cucumbers and yesterday, a ginormous zucchini. This morning, I am making a frittata. I don't know why, but I seem to have broken through the cooking barrier. Probably because my life is not surrounding me here and everything is simpler. Hopefully when I go home, it will transfer over.

Today, my biggest issue is whether to go for a swim or a hike.

Bless you both for living alone, lol.  I know this has nothing to do with being lonely. I needed to hear it from other people.  I am very independent, I have a full life, it is only my treacherous mind telling me I am bereft. Eventually, hopefully, someone will come into my life for love and other things, :}, but....until that happens I am living alone with the kitties, and that is something to treasure for now.

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