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ten.tries

I don't feel so great

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Pretty sure I'm manic, feels like I'm rapid cycling. Thinking about hurting myself. Not too serious about it, but I have the energy. I could do something small. I'm not desperate enough, but if I get enough energy, what if I do something big. There's no one to talk to. I've tried reaching out to a bunch of people, friends, strangers, just to distract myself, stimulate my brain, because I'm so restless all the time, and now it's 10pm and there's no one there anymore. They all have their lives. I'm probably being obnoxious. I've already done a lot today, much more than I'm normally able in a day, fixed my résumé, cleaned my desk, vacuumed my bedroom, bathed my dog, had a bunch of conversations, it's not enough, my brain won't stop

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Hi, ten.tries. Welcome to CB. I'm Gearhead, your friendly neighborhood admin and one of the bipolar mods.

I was in your boat exactly all last summer. Worst manic episode I'd had in over a decade. I was obsessed with getting into bar fights, and I'm a very petite woman. It would've been a disaster. A friend recommended that I write stories about all the things I wanted to be doing, in the hopes it would stop me from doing them, and it helped a lot. Have you tried that? 

Getting in with your pdoc for an anti-psychotic is my other advice.

Please feel free to PM me or one of the other mods if you have questions about how the site works.

 

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