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Alien Navel Cord

My Biggest Regret in Life

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I had a close friend in Sacramento. I lived near Seattle. Her sister was 15 and had been dating a guy who was 20. He moved to my neck of the woods, and she asked me to hang out with him, show him around, be a friendly face in a new city, so I did.

We went out to a casino, we had dinner, we went to the beach, drove around, etc. Then he started talking about how he liked younger girls. How he wanted to have little girls of his own. It started to creep me out so I told him my mom wanted me home around that time. I had to pee though so he said we'd stop at his apartment where he lived with his dad. After I was done in the bathroom I found him in his bedroom, and he said "come here I want to show you something." 

He proceeded to show me about 200 pictures of child porn. Really hardcore abusive stuff. I was sickened and scared at that point, and in shock. I didn't want to act like it though in front of him in case he would do something to me after showing me those things so I let him take me home.

I called my friend and told her all about it. She told her sister, and that if he ever moved back down to California to never see him again. But I didn't get his apartment complex name, apartment number, address, no idea what street it was on, and didn't even know his last name.

So I could never report it. And who knows, maybe he got married and had little girls.

And it would be all my damn fault. I feel sick when I think about what I could have done to help, but never did.

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Hi Alien Navel Cord,

Please don't keep beating yourself up about this.  You did do the right thing by telling your friend about this.  It would have been great if they had reported him to the police, but who knows?  You were in shock, understandably, so remembering to get his address for later was the last thing on your mind.  Don't expect yourself to react "perfectly" in that kind of situation. 

Take great solace in your great morals by even feeling this way in hindsight.  This was an awful situation that you had no way of foreseeing.  To feel this level of guilt shows you are a good, kind, caring person. 

The best we can do is hope that he never hurt anyone and hopefully he got or will get help for his sickness.  If you feel you must do something about this, put your energy into being the best upstanding man you can be to the women and girls in your life and in your future.

Take care, friend.

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God, what a traumatic experience! Do not feel guilty, as Distorted Me said, you did the right thing, you told someone.

I was almost abducted as a child and I didn't tell anyone till years later, when I was old enough to really understand what had happened I felt so ashamed and guilty that I never reported it, because, as you said, what if my not saying anything meant he was able to go on and hurt another child? But you actually told someone! They knew his details, they could have reported him to the police, and you protected your friend's sister. And we learned from these experiences and now you can bet we tell on these assholes.


 

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You've done what you could then. Thats good.

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