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Sexual Impulse with Christian couples

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I am a Bible believer, Following Jesus Christ, and i am 30 years old and i am in relationship. 


i am not with premarital sex, oral sex, and masturbation. 


during i am Texting or discussing with my Girlfriend (Christian Godly Woman) i feel excited, and horny while the discussion IS NOT SEXUAL, general and casual talk. 

how can i Curb my sexual driving ? I want to Be Holy, and having a Pure Holy Relationship.


may someone please advice me, i need your opinion about that struggle i am going on. 

thank you, God bless you.

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Elijah, I don't think your feelings indicate anything unhealthy in your mental state, in which case you aren't really in the right place. Do you have a diagnosed mental illness? Knowing that could give us a better chance to help you.

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Elijah -

I was once as you are, deeply committed to a love of God (as I still am) yet terribly conflicted by the demands of my personal sexuality and my fear of the judgment of God and the church over it. I will counsel you as one who has found peace in Christ, and as one who also believes in the truth of God's Creation as revealed to us through science.

God does nothing without a purpose.

In your belief, you are a creation of God. God made you. God made you in every detail, your whole body with all its parts and working systems, each with a function intended for a purpose. He made your mind, and gave it both the gift of free will, and the blessing of the ability to use that free will responsibly and without fear through the Grace of Christ who died for all sin.

Now, this part you may or may not have difficulty with, but bear with me: The body that God has given you, that He has placed your eternal soul within, is in essence an animal body. Not "animal" as in a "beast", but animal as in not a vegetable or a mineral. It is a biological machine. It can only behave according to the physical laws that nature places on biological machines. (Think of it as the car your soul drives.) That biological machine has certain natural features, and if you do not properly understand them and their purpose, then trying to drive around with them not doing what you think they ought to do can lead to distress.

Your body is male. A young man's body is naturally designed to feel sexually excited, because it is at this time that he is at his peak reproductive state. In other words, your body is supposed to feel this way now. And if God made your body and put you in it, it stands to reason that God intended you to feel this way.

This is where the whole thing gets tricky. The church often tells us (by interpreting the Bible certain ways) that sexuality is bad Bad BAD and that if we act upon the very strong impulses we feel, we will suffer eternal damnation (which would be worse Worse WORSE). Yet God has placed us within bodies that have a really really strong drive to be sexual. Therefore, it would seem as though God has placed within us a very strong urge to condemn ourselves to eternal damnation.

This makes no sense at all, especially given the lengths to which God went to ensure that humanity could obtain everlasting life. Something about the notion that sex is bad must be, therefore, wrong. Someone in the church has gotten the wrong end of the stick somewhere along the line.

Actually, there are very good reasons to persuade a population of people to control their sexual urges - too many babies is not a good thing. Sexually transmitted disease is not a good thing. Unfaithful relationships are not a good thing. Men killing other men over women is not a good thing. Over the centuries, church leaders have used religion as a tool to mold societies by warning people that Bad Things Will Happen To Them if they are too sexy. The trouble is, it's much too easy to over-apply this on the individual level, as you have done.

Your sexuality is completely natural, and is a gift from God to you. It is not meant to be hidden away like a candle hidden beneath a basket. It is a powerful, fulfilling gift God gave you to enrich your life. God has intended that we should feel pleasure in life just as we should feel the pain of growth and the pain of loss - He gives us pleasure in balance. He also teaches us to use all His gifts in moderation, and with responsibility. Your sexuality is for you, and for you to share with those special persons with whom you wish to form personal bonds. It is a powerful expression of human love. Use it for that. It is meant for that. There is no obligation for you to use it for anything else if you don't want to. Use it to allow yourself the feeling of pleasure in life when you wish, by yourself - you can do no possible harm in that, and again, it is intended.

Elijah, I will tell you that I did not have sex until the year I graduated from college, and as difficult as it is for me to believe as I look back upon it now, I actually feared that God would strike me down - like, with lightning - when I had done it.

No lightning. Nothing.

God isn't going to judge you. There is no judgment. No matter what some worked-up clergyman has to say about it, no matter what you read in some tract about "purity", God isn't going to frown if you feel sexual. He meant for you to from the moment He made you.

Go now, and be free of fear, and live in the love and light of your Creator.

Edited by Cerberus
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