Newbie

[imfinethanksfornotasking]

i don't know if i belong here yet.. but maybe can find those who relate. i come from a family of selfharmers.  my mom and half sister (unrelated to one another, coincidentally) both cut.  i've figured that is not something i can probably do but hey i will give myself time before i rule out anything for certain. 

i'm here because today following a pretty bad week and an overall bad several months i had a really strong urge to harm myself.  i don't want to -die- and i don't want anyone to know, and i thought something i could do is use a hammer and maybe hammer my hand.  because that could be an accident, and i've had broken fingers before and can deal with that after the fact. 

i didn't actually do it because i started obsessing about not being able to type.  but i did at one time type quite well with just one hand so i could learn to do that. 

i'm a bit disturbed to have come up with that though.  i really don't want to do anything anyone would know was intentional or that i did.

[groovyone]

i don't know if i belong here yet.. but maybe can find those who relate. i come from a family of selfharmers.