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Ive been having suicidal thoughts for the past 3 weeks i think, they come and go something they're strong and other times is just me wishing i was dead. I feel like i wouldnt kill myself but i want to cause serious harm, i can tell i feel a little unsafe, i have told my pdoc and my psychologist but they seem to not pay enough attention to it. I feel like i cant keep up with my life too much work and too much stress plus i have issues believing im sick, one psychiatrist (a different one, not the one i see all the time) denied all my symptoms once and told me i had bpd when i really dont i cheked all the symptoms and the only one i have is self harm and my regular pdoc says im SZA and that i dont have bpd but that experience makes it even harder for me to believe im ill. I stop my medication and then i take it again im not sure what to do with my life and nothing seems to help i feel like im not sick enough like i dont want to die enough but i dont want to live either, its getting really hard to keep on going. I cant go to hospital here is extremely hard to get admitted or at least thats what i think all i know is that i cant keep up with my life and people dont take me seriously i feel like i have to attempt suicide to prove myself im really suffering i already did it once 4 years ago but nothing happened it wasnt bad enough. Im in a really dark place and its frustrating.

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  • 2 weeks later...

just wanted to post to say that i read this and i'm sorry you're struggling with such a rough time. please don't hurt yourself. things can go wrong. 

 

maybe print out this post and show to your psychiatrist? so s/he can take you more seriously?

 

best to you, xx

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