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Do you have a part time or full time job?


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I have been trying to get stable for a year after being diagnosed a year ago.   I retired at age 46, then I got diagnosed at age 53 after a Zoloft fiasco.  I have a small home business, but it would be nice to get a part time job.   I think the social interaction would be great, but I am not ready yet.  I get overwhelmed very easily.

I would like to find out  how many of you are not stable but still able to hold down a job.  Also would like to hear from those who are stable, and what kind of work you do.  

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I am more stable than not but still not right.

i substitute as a teachers aide so I only take a job if I am feeling good.

 

i just passed the test to become a substitute teacher. I can work 8 days/ month and max out what I can make on disability.

being around kids all day isn't really socializing though.

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Right now, I work part-time and go to college full-time.  I finally sought treatment after 10 years years of no treatment and functioned very well in the workplace.  Now that I'm on proper medication, I think this is the first time in my life that I have been stable.  I thrived working full-time because it kept my mind busy and I'm really productive when I'm in a manic phase and I'm good at hiding it when I'm in a depressed phase.  Right now I work as a paraprofessional at a high school and I'm going to college full-time to obtain my teaching license.  I've had social anxiety along with my bipolar and I was able to function in the workplace and always had great evaluations from my supervisors.  

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I work full time as a nurse but i feel overwhelmed every day.  I wish to only work part time but we can't afford it.  This is a new job after not working for 2 months.  So I am trying desperately to keep it as we are so behind on everything.

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After going bonkers trying to conform with the norm, I have enjoyed the freedom of self-employment for a decade. Time has taught me how to schedule myself according to how I am feeling. I try to balance it all out and work anywhere between 20-60 hours a week. 

Though I still have frequent days when life gets the best of me, I pull it together, complete my task of the moment, then take time to decompress in a conscious effort to not get overwhelmed. 

I have no idea what 'stable' is. Everybody seems to have their own perspective or definition. And, that is fine.

Healthy relationships are a lost cause for me. Instead, I tend to measure my own stability by equating it to self-sufficiency. Providing for myself removes the liabilities and anxiety of dealing with 'people drama'. All the demands, wants, expectations, criticism. Avoiding that that has its own share of consequences. Its a balancing act.

I am better in my head than I once was, but.. unquestionably, there is always plenty of room for improvement. All that pressure to fit neatly into a box. Bah! No thanks!

 

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6 hours ago, Amethyst674 said:

I work full time as a nurse but i feel overwhelmed every day.  I wish to only work part time but we can't afford it.  This is a new job after not working for 2 months.  So I am trying desperately to keep it as we are so behind on everything.

Amethyst674, I cannot imagine working full time while having this illness.  You are so strong, and you should be proudof yourself.  {{{hugs and prayers}}}. 

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It was also a run in with an antidepressant (Paxil) that caused me to go manic and halfway destroy my life until I was diagnosed bipolar by a new doctor. During that time I barely held together my academics in college as a full-time student, I failed at least 6-10 courses and got into disciplinary trouble with my school's student conduct office. Once I switched doctors it took several months to taper me off my old medications and onto new medications tailored to treat my underlying bipolar disorder, but these few months felt like the longest months ever. I couldn't imagine having even a part-time job during my ssri-induced mania much less a full-time one. Heck I couldn't even complete but 3 out of 15 credits of the course load I was taking and my GPA really spiraled downwards.

Now that I am on the right medications I have managed to get a part time job in telemarketing, and conveniently it's located at my school. I have yet to take on full-time college and this part-time job together; this fall semester will be the first time I try to balance both work and school. My meds have been doing a great job at keeping me stable. Work does elicit a decent level of anxiety given I have to call and convince people to donate money, but my xanax has been helping with that lately.

I'm interested in seeing how well I can manage working at least 9 hours a week (the min requirement) and taking 15 college credits at the same time while I am stable. I need to work in order to pay off my debts accumulated during my manic phase, but if I end up not being able to manage it, work will have to go because I cannot bear to sacrifice my school performance, since this area was also severely damaged during my manic phase.

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I've always worked full time, somehow. At one time I worked multiple very part time jobs, plus was in school to change careers. How I did it, I have no idea. Honestly I don't recommend it if you have options but I needed the money and think the routine maybe helped stabilize me. 

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I've been unstable for the past 6 years up until January or February when I switched from Lamictal to Lithium. I've always had a full time job, but I have FMLA so that when I need to, I can go home and avoid a super freak-out at work. I do NOT however have short term disability so if I ended up in the psych ever, I'd most likely be able to keep my job but not get paid for the time I'm in hospital. So I hope that doesn't happen.

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I work full-time, and up until a few months ago, I also freelanced in addition for 12 years. It can be so trying to deal with the corporate world with this disorder. Even before I was medicated, I worked but I attribute that to not having any safety net (no parents, siblings, SO). Many times I've dashed off angry emails that I thought sounded perfectly reasonable only to find out from a manager that I should have worded them differently. I don't like to blame that on bipolar, but it has a hand in it for sure. Those times it grabs a hold of your brain and goes "This is happening and you have to respond to it." People don't seem to understand that once those take hold, it's nearly impossible to stop them (I call them "bipolar rages"). For this reason, I have NO IDEA how I've managed to survive in a career for so long (editing, multimedia stuff in a corporate setting).

I use most of my sick days as mental health days, and I know I'm lucky to have them at all. Usually those are spent in bed, though, trying to escape my brain rather than trying to find some activity to make myself feel better.

I guess I feel stable most of the time, but I also feel like a fraud, as if what I think is stable looks insane to everyone else. :mellow:

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I am now retired but worked full time since my 20's. I've has 2 careers in my life, 10 years as a manager for an upscale retailer and a Network Systems Administrator for 11 years for the Judiciary of one of the States.  

Edited by notloki
forgot to list jo jobs
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I worked for 25 years as a full time software developer.  It was a highly stressful job.  I never had an issue until going through a project with impossible deadlines.  I was working until midnight almot every day for a month.  People were dropping from my project, which meant that I had to pick up the slack.  My daughter was sick with asthma, and stomach problems, and I denied myself vacations....Not a good recipe for staying healthy.   I recovered quickly after that.  Then made the same mistake 5 years later.  I regret all of that, but what I am grateful for is that I know I have this disorder, and even though I am not stable, I am glad it happened now, rather than when I was older.  God is teaching me how to take care of myself properly.  I lam not able to do much, as everything overwhelms me now, but I need to realize that I have to heal.  I have a good group of people who support me, and hope I am able to stabilize, and be anxiety free in the near future.

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I'm going through a fairly stable period. And I'm currently a student. I'm still off for the summer for the rest of the week though. And I cashier at the pharmacy down the street from me. It's not a bad place to work. Doesn't get too busy even at its worst, and it's nothing I can't handle after working at a Dunkin Donuts for a year (this was a major stressor).

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On 8/15/2017 at 4:00 PM, FaucetGenie said:

I guess I feel stable most of the time, but I also feel like a fraud, as if what I think is stable looks insane to everyone else. :mellow:

I can definitely relate. 

Everything becomes so black and white. Polarized. There is no in between. There is no compromise. 

From my perspective, a personal opinion couldn't be presented any more clearly. But, the message falls into the abyss of misunderstandings because it wasn't presented in a way that -they- could comprehend.

The more I try to be brief and focused, the more misunderstood my perspective becomes.. to them. 

It seems nobody is allowed to have an honest opinion anymore without everybody grouping up to point a collective accusatory finger at anybody who expresses the slightest bit of passion.. but only when it contradicts the beliefs of the people who requested the opinion. "If your beliefs happen to lay beyond this invisible line.. regardless of the truth being in your favor, YOU are crazy!" 

So the decision becomes, retreat or push on. 

There is safety in numbers, and for anybody who dares to stray from the herd, a sledgehammer of judgement awaits.

Imagine how much more productive society would be if we weren't paralyzed by the fear of consequence for thinking outside the 'happy, safe, healthy, normal, acceptable' box?

Where would we be as a society if all of the artists, inventors, and activists were hunted down and persecuted for the brilliance of their non-compliant, non-conforming, rebellious minded determination?

These people are the ones who dared to go against the grain, embrace the passion of their beliefs, and devote their sanity towards exposing the real 'frauds'. 

Doesn't matter if it was the founding fathers of America, or any grade school student who did the research and then got a bad grade for daring to contradict a history textbook, or a research analyst who is far ahead of the curve of conventional wisdom, or an advertising agent who knows people better than they know themselves. 

The polarity of the last presidential race was a great example of this..

Retreat (Comply) or push on (Rebel). Either way, there is a consequence.

If we conform to the pressure, we are no longer true to our personal beliefs.

In my mind, that also means we become trivial, adding nothing, taking no risks, paying no price, reaping no reward.. becoming invisible. A fraud within a fraud. 

A lot of the time, the more insane my perspective is perceived to be, the less of a fraud I feel I am. Those pesky naysayers can't handle the exposure of the truth. That would mean having to accept they believed a lie, right?

The 'bipolar rage' is the response we typically get from the 'normal' segment of the population who does not have the gift of knowing how to think freely. 

Well, right up until the moment the illness compels us to do something that is obviously too far beyond the realm of acceptability. And then, that vindicates all of their cowardly closed-mindedness.. "See.. I told you you were out of line.."

I find the game of socialization to be equal parts fascinating and frustrating. The funny, tragic part is how often those adjectives trade places.

 

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