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I Guess This Is Trauma?


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So I was talking with my therapist this week, and she'd read a hospital report of where I'd had a dissociative episode whilst visiting my brother last week. She explained that it pretty much only comes from trauma, and I know what the trigger was and why it happened, I just never considered the particular event traumatic. I mean, that trigger has given me flashbacks before and other symptoms, but I just didn't think it was y'know... that bad? What happened was scary but I'm easily scared so it seemed normalish?

Tdoc wants me to do trauma work when I've finished my DBT but two things come to mind:

1) How do I deal with the info that I might have trauma, its scary to think I'll have to revisit this and talk to someone about it

2) I don't want to give wieght to what happened, I want to call it a mistake and forget it happened. I understan this will take work to unpick.

 

I guess I'm just yelling aimlessly just could use a little support? Thanks

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It's pretty common (and perhaps even universal) to minimize things and to say that they weren't that bad. 

And you know what? If you're easily scared than it has the potential to affect you even more, since your baseline is already closer to "I'm scared." 

And something that I'm learning right now is that, while I want to forget about it, that doesn't work forever. It works until a trigger comes along and then it explodes in my face. So the best way to take the weightiness away from the event is to work through it. Even though it sucks and it's shitty and awful and horrible and scary.

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I understand minimizing past experiences. I do that too.  I  keep thinking that other people have had much worse happen to them so I shouldn't be so affected by it. And for me it was "just" psychological (not physical, sexual, etc.)  so I keep thinking it wasn't that bad and that it shouldn't still be an issue! 

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