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Hello! I this is my first post and I want to talk about some personal issues going on with my life that is associated with coming of age (I think?), but I'm not sure why they are happening and if it is normal.

I am a 16 year old teen living in Australia with an Asian background. When I was young, I used to be pretty happy as I lived in a townhouse and mainly played with any kid in the town. We all got really close, I went to a school close to me, had a school friend growing up with me in the same area, went to a lot of school clubs and played an instrument. My mum and dad were nice as well as I had a 'passion' for studying I guess, so I got the DUX award at my school (Top of junior school, eh).

Then in grade 8, I went to another school and moved to another townhouse (school was still 5 minute drive from my house). My friend I grew up with also came to my school (so it just me and him facing the world together!). At first, I was shy and all that but I gradually made a lot of friends and we actually played the same games (League of Legends if you're interested) and went out and had lots of fun as well as my work ethics from my first school helped me a lot to study. I made closer friends than back in my first school and we talked all night on Skype and studied together and live as if we were close brothers and sisters. In fact, at this time in my schooling life I managed to have a nice girlfriend (which we ended) and another one in grade 9. This bits a bit weird. From my first breakup I felt this state of depression because it questioned who I was. The only reason we broke up was because of who I developed in society (a kind, smart dude but didn't really think about myself properly or others). So from then on, my close friend I grew up with, his mother was a Christian (I don't want to offend anyone when I say this, but she took the Bible literally). I wanted to become a Christian too so I can rediscover my true self without hiding my inner self, so I just listened to everything she said and just copied the same thing. It changed my mind in a wrong way as she told me stuff like "No working or studying on Sunday" or "The government is evil" and like "The queen is bathing in the blood of babies to keep her alive" in addition to the the Bible. This caused conflict within my family and I guess I lost that encouragement and warmth from my parents from that day on, even when I broke up with my friend and her mum as they remember of what I did. 

All this chaos made me really want to change schools, so I thought about going to Queensland Academy of Science Mathemetics and Technology, which is the top school in Queensland, Australia. I applied and everything and took the test and got in, and I thought I can start a new life and rediscover myself. And we bought a house this time, but it is one and a half hours away from school by bus with a lot of transfers in between. 

Long story short, I found out me trying to discover myself stopped me from finding myself this whole time, and I became me I guess. But, with that, I lost all these emotions. Also, I've been working harder than normal and not getting good grades (this school is number one in academic so maybe I'm just stupid .-.), so I thought that my 'Fake self' had good principles, such as being always positive and having a passion for study instead of me right now, doing work for the heck of it, reading Webtoons and occasionally playing basketball and thinking about a girl I have a crush right now. I also got Facebook to talk to others, but all I just see is everyone posting how good their life is while I'm just laughing at memes about relatable problems. 

So, I'm asking anyone whose reading this, is this a normal thing in life to be like, or did I stray from being normal. And also, is this what they mean by the stereotype that teens are moody and rebellious and becoming adults?

I'd like any responses cos I'm curious (btw, not suicidal at all, just pooped with life) and thank you if you do read this and can respond!

 

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I think "normal" is an overblown concept. It's common to have hi and low and up and down. If you feel depressed, then it might be time to seek help...but that doesn't mean your weird or off the beaten path, it might just be a slump...or a mood change cuz of the higher difficulty of school

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Hi and welcome to CB!

I'm not sure exactly what you are asking. Are you asking if what you wrote is normal? A lot of it just sounds like growing up and teenage angst to me, but I'm certainly not in a position to diagnose whether it is depression or not. Do you have a school counselor you can talk to and ask these questions? Or can you talk to your doctor about it?

I'm sorry I'm not of more help.

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I hear you saying that you are confused. That's pretty "normal" at this stage in your life.  Even the "detour" that you took into fundamental Christianity can be a part of growing up and discovering what you want from life and figuring out "who you are". I found those years really confusing.  In my opinion, you don't sound "abnormal" from what you  wrote . But I would encourage you to find someone to talk to about it -a school counselor,  therapist.  Don't give up until you find someone who can help! 

Adolescence is difficult!  Your brain is going through major development so it's really no wonder that it feels so unsettling. 

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