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Well I had my performance review today and it was the worst I could get. So I contacted the disability person about short-term or permanent leave....

In the meantime I feel like a complete and utter failure. Like I cant do anything right.Will being on disability from work count against me when applying for a new apartment? Does it still show as if I work there?? How do I go in to work when I 've been told I am unapproachable and that I isolate, and I'm not a team player?? I have thought about checking into a hospital for a few days as i feel like life is crumbling, but I am not suicidal. i worry about being homeless because I have no family in this area to live with.

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work relationships are tough and the expectations from superiors can be unrealistic. sorry you hit the bottom with the performance review. it's really good you contacted the disability person to see what your options are. I don't know how that status shows up when you rent an apartment.

do you have an MI provider that you can talk to? you might be able to get a work release or such from them. also, working through this difficulty with support of a therapist might make it easier to find a way to succeed in your job.

--Weasel

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Well that sucks. But it's not the end of the world.

My advice is to give it some time. Maybe a day or so. Once you have calmed a bit, maybe you'll feel better and the answers will come.

And you might shoot your therapist a call. This is a blow, and maybe he/she can help.

And FWIW? I think those reviews are bullshit and don't have any reflection on "you" as a person at all.

Take care.

Breeze

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(((((((secrets))))))))

I am annoyed and upset that they seem to have no understanding of depression at all.....anyone who's depressed isolates at times, and, being Avoidant as well(which I also am to a certain degree, so I can relate...wrong choice of word, but do you get my point?).....cripes, as long as you get the work done.....its no reflection on who you really are as a person. also, aren't performance review meant to tell you positive things as well, be balanced?

The others have great practical advice.

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Well I had my performance review today and it was the worst I could get. So I contacted the disability person about short-term or permanent leave....

In the meantime I feel like a complete and utter failure. Like I cant do anything right.Will being on disability from work count against me when applying for a new apartment?

I went on short, the long-term disability from work and ultimately social security, however, my MI was not related to work. It did however factor in, in a good way (if there is such a thing) in the SSDI determination.

You CANNOT  be discriminated against from apt. hunting while disabled. It's called the Americans wtih Disabilities Act and it's taken very seriously, you may, though, qualify for subsidized housing. I did.

It's not the end of the world. The fact the you are struggling with your MI, factors in any performance issues at work. Fact of life, again to discrimate against you because of it would be bad and HR departments know how these things can turn into company crushing lawsuits, and do.

Take advantage of your time off and get well. Will you disability leave give you enough money to live on? Have you applied for food stamps? If not, get thee to thy local welfare office. Here in PA we can apply online, and then go in for interview. Foodstamps saved me when I was indigent and on just my employers' disability. Now that I'm on SSDI, get this, I NET more than I made when I worked, and I no longer qualify for food stamps. Which is okay, I can swing it, but it's all so weird.

I agree with Breeze of the evaluations themselves, they are often arbitrary, capricious, depending on how the evaluator feels about you, also you have a right to rebuttal. Or should, most of the laws that protect workers really only kick in in companies of 50+ employees.

I used to work in HR...btw....

S9

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work relationships are tough and the expectations from superiors can be unrealistic. sorry you hit the bottom with the performance review. it's really good you contacted the disability person to see what your options are. I don't know how that status shows up when you rent an apartment.

do you have an MI provider that you can talk to? you might be able to get a work release or such from them. also, working through this difficulty with support of a therapist might make it easier to find a way to succeed in your job.

--Weasel

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ok thanks, I dont know about a work release thing? i too off today. I just feel disappointed and will not tell my family(mother.father) as I dont want to hear/feel the disappointment from them. Its like going thru it all over again if i tell them

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Well that sucks. But it's not the end of the world.

My advice is to give it some time. Maybe a day or so. Once you have calmed a bit, maybe you'll feel better and the answers will come.

And you might shoot your therapist a call. This is a blow, and maybe he/she can help.

And FWIW? I think those reviews are bullshit and don't have any reflection on "you" as a person at all.

Take care.

Breeze

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I really dont know how I can proceed in this job, they attacked everything about me and I have no defenxe for enything. They said I get defensive, I isolate with headphones all the time, that I ask the same questions over and over and I dont grasp the most basic tasks. Do you know how small and humiliated I felt. I have several degrees, was in the honer society growing up, I own my own car, I maintain a place to live, I am 3o something years old and they shredded me....I need to not take this personal..

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(((((((secrets))))))))

I am annoyed and upset that they seem to have no understanding of depression at all.....anyone who's depressed isolates at times, and, being Avoidant as well(which I also am to a certain degree, so I can relate...wrong choice of word, but do you get my point?).....cripes, as long as you get the work done.....its no reflection on who you really are as a person. also, aren't performance review meant to tell you positive things as well, be balanced?

The others have great practical advice.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well they probably just care about the bottom line and not wasting precious company monies. They are type A people who love talking loud and having friend circles. They just dont "fit" my ideal environment.

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Well I had my performance review today and it was the worst I could get. So I contacted the disability person about short-term or permanent leave....

In the meantime I feel like a complete and utter failure. Like I cant do anything right.Will being on disability from work count against me when applying for a new apartment?

I went on short, the long-term disability from work and ultimately social security, however, my MI was not related to work. It did however factor in, in a good way (if there is such a thing) in the SSDI determination.

You CANNOT

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Hi all I am gonna use this thread as a brainstorm thread, plus it feels like I am not in this room by myself when I post stuff. I took my add med so it is helping me think of things

*************************************************************

* APPLY FOR OTHER JOBS (ADMIN ASST,ESCORT,MCDONALDS)

*TAKE THOSE FREE COURSES ONLINE  TO GET SKILLS

*APPLY FOR DISABILITY FROM WORK

*LOOK FOR BETTER & BRIGHTER APT

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Hey Secrets!

Hope you had a rejuvenating nap. Now, how about trying to do a little towards one of those things you listed? Great list, BTW. Maybe just spend an hour scanning the help wanteds, just to see what is out there?

I just want to let you know that I think it makes sense that you feel crappy. You battle depression, your work environment is not ideal, your supervisor said some mean things in your review.

It really sounds like you would do better in a more supportive (less type A, less cliquey) workplace. There's probably one out there for you.

--Weasel

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i just left my job, which was easy and interesting, because of a sudden crushing depression, but i can really relate to the problem of feeling like an outsider from the cliques (and having them care, not me).  try to remember that you're not defined by them.  look at them and ask yourself, who the hell are they to judge me?  sure maybe in their role of evaluating your work, but how much of it was really about your work?  you probably have an idea of that.  would the same person who does the same job as you do with the same strengths/needs get the same evaluation if that person was a part of the clique? probably not.  so f*** them.  maybe i sound bitter but i'm tired of bosses like this. 

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Hey Secrets!

Hope you had a rejuvenating nap. Now, how about trying to do a little towards one of those things you listed? Great list, BTW. Maybe just spend an hour scanning the help wanteds, just to see what is out there?

I just want to let you know that I think it makes sense that you feel crappy. You battle depression, your work environment is not ideal, your supervisor said some mean things in your review.

It really sounds like you would do better in a more supportive (less type A, less cliquey) workplace. There's probably one out there for you.

--Weasel

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well I didnt go to sleep cause I feel like I will miss out on my free time that I have away from work today. yeah I feel like crap after what they said and it makes me feel uncomfortable even going back tomorrow. I hate that it gets to me. that somehow they won. I hate beng the underdog...

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So now it becomes a race of getting approved for disability vs getting fired

To Do List:

1. watch American idol

2.Lay out Clothes for tomorrow

3.take bath

4. Go to bed

4.Eat breakfast

5.Work 7-4:30 *Behave like Mary Poppins"

6.Go for stress walk at lunch

7.Go home

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What kind of work do you do at your job?

I can't believe a place would fault you for wearing headphones if you don't have to interact with customers and mostly just work on a computer all day.

I've worked in software tech environments and LOTS of folks wear headphones. It's the only way to work on code logic without constant distractions from cubemates/folks chatting in the halls, etc.

Just curious, are your work colleagues alot older than you? If so, there might be a bit of a generation gap/lack of cultural understanding.

Grrrr.

--Weasel

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performance reviews are such complete bulllshit. Just weasel words like "team", "environment", "interaction", "synergy", "maximise", "castrate".

They should be pleased that you do your work with minimal fuss, without disturbing other workers trying to do the "team" bullshit.

They cannot fire you if you are doing your job. And they definitely can't fire you for doing your job despite being depressed. That is just asking to get their arses whipped.

Meanwhile, good on you for taking their stupidity on board and tolerating it. Ultimately it reflects badly on them.

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