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What does stable mean to you?


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I was wondering what stable means to you. To me it just means to be comfortable in your own skin. I don't need to be happy all the time, I just need to be content. I would like to go to the store without being feeling overwhelmed, and not be anxious, or nervous. To be able to sit down and watch a tv show, or read book, and be able to concentrate on it. Not to get overly sad and overwhelmed for things that don't usually make me feel that way.
 

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To me stable means not cycling between mania and depression. It also means maintaining a good level of functionality. Being stable feels normal and I don't know what I would do without my meds that keep me stable. Being able to attend school and work is also another big part of being stable.

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For me, stable definitely means functional. I'm able to do the things I have to do for the day and executive dysfunction doesn't get in the way. I have to-do lists that are completed, I wake up on time. I'm also not manic or all that depressed (I consider my baseline to be something of a dysthymic state), but I don't have to be happy to consider myself stable.

I feel relatively stable now. I'm occasionally slipping, but I'm not doing all that bad.

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I define it as not fitting the technical criteria for hypomania, mania, mixed or depressive episode and not having done so for a length of time. Enough time that I have been able to resume my usual activities like working, studying and living independentally.

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Stability for me is the ability to have a meaningful conversation without walking away questioning every syllable spoken from every imaginable angle trying to decipher what was implied in place of what was actually said. Intense social anxiety. I choose to avoid people entirely in an effort to not be frustrated by them. 

I am overly cynical and critical. Paranoid. Untrusting. I challenge and question everything, finding contradictions where they don't exist, looking for signs of deception, always provoking emotional reactions to peel away the layers hoping to uncover the truth behind the false image. 

I have a full-time occupation that requires only a few minutes of weekly human interaction. Everything else is handled by text or computer.

Oddly, the anxiety only applies to 'real' encounters.. Online, I am a completely different person. The anonymity makes a huge difference in my ability to communicate. The physical detachment allows me relax and think clearly. No pressure at all.

Many sacrifices allow me to be more stable than I have ever been. My occupation demands that the past history of my illness remains a carefully guarded secret. It's crazy..

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