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At the point in the road where I need others help ASAP


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Hello Everyone,

I'm new to the board and after looking high and low for one I hope this is the right one. Over the past ten years I have lost my mother to breast cancer and brother to drugs. Lucky enough I have a beautiful wife though and an amazingly supportive father and in-laws. The reason I am writing is due to my mania and the struggles I am having reeling it in. I found my current psychiatrist with the help of my insurance company because everyone was not taking new patients, retired, etc... After a few visits it became more apparent that my doctor is turning into a minute clinic. By no means do I expect her to provide therapy but I do expect to her to listen to my issues because those relate to how the meds are working. Instead, she cuts down of the dose of this and increases that etc... My biggest issue right now is my mania. It leaves my wife at a loss for words. I can go two weeks absolutely wired. I don't go out gambling, go on shopping sprees, or buy expensive things but I do make grand plans for something that may be months in advance that are unrealistic until I finally realize I'm not making sense and my mood comes crashing down. This happens over and over. I try to explain this is the simplest of terms to my doctor and I get dead air back. I'm reaching out for hope because I don't know what else to reach for. Thanks for reading. 

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First of all, welcome to CB. I hope you find what you're looking for here.

Sometimes when I feel like my psychiatrist and I aren't communicating I write a letter explaining my symptoms or complaints and hand it over. Maybe you could try something like that?

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It sounds like you have only tried 2 meds. Most bipolars have tried hand fulls of meds before they find the right one. A letter is a good idea, either that or find a new doc. Ask your general doc for a recommendation.  

 

Edited by notloki
misspelling
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I understand what you talk about . I remember when I would go days without eating just writing my novels or short stories thinking I was the next Stephen king. Same thing with having to stay in a healthy relationship... I had these ideas on how things were going and how people were thinking and mania symptoms off the roof. When I started medication after months like this , I realized how bad it all really was and I understood why I hadn't been able to cure myself before . It's hard to explain things like that when you're literally in the eye of the storm . Words don't come easy and no one seems to understand the crazy . My psychiatrist personally took years to understand the situation and occasionally still struggles when I'm going through mania symptoms . All I can say is don't give up and keep trying to tell him about the most minute details of the disease. Everything even if for you it might be normal or if you've had it for so much time . I discovered I had  symptoms from PTSD and bipolar by talking about my depersonalization and my dissociative states . The more he knows the more he'll understand and the more he'll be able to help. Don't listen to the voices in your head 

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Zoloft eh? How many antidepressants have you been on and what kind of impacts have they had on you? I've been on several and they all sent me on rollercoasters....however I misunderstood the hypomania and mania for depression recovery...and then would spiral down again. My last AD was cymbalta. Was put on it for depression and pain....I went to a specialist for a medical issue and they randomly doubled my cymbalta dose for an off-label purpose - I promptly lost my mind and got my diagnosis after 20 years of mental illness. I can't tolerate them. I relate to the planning - I have planned and started more life "overhauls" about how I was going to get my act together and BE AMAZING than I can remember.

Also - my doc is also my therapist, which is rare. It sounds like maybe you need a therapist in addition to a psychiatrist. If I was only able to go and talk about meds for a few minutes without some psychological help I would be totally out of control.

Edited by Renarde
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On 8/16/2017 at 10:01 PM, tbh8644 said:

Hey Ren,

Honestly my whole adult life. I need someone who listen to me and hear me out. I'm trying!!

Antidepressants almost killed me. Can you get a second opinion from another pdoc or psych NP?

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I would look for a new pdoc, even if it means getting on a long wait list. You need someone who understands. A lot of pdocs only do med management, but like you said, they need to talk to know what is happening.

You might want to go to a support group, like DBSA, and get suggestions for a pdoc. or, ask the ins co for more help.

Nice to meet you :)

 

 

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If you're manic, why does your doc have you on an anti-depressant at all? I had a beaut of a manic episode last summer, and the first thing my pdoc did was yank me off of Cymbalta (note: taper off whatever it is you go off. SSRI withdrawals are not fun).

I think Confused is right and you need to look for a new doc, even if it means being on a waiting list. Better to be waitlisted and have something in the works than to have no prospects and be stuck long-term with a bad doctor, particularly if you might crash soon and need more help.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I totally agree with the masses here, if the doctor is not understanding your symptoms or hearing your concerns, what potential is there for forward progress? 

Although the symptoms are disruptive to your home life and relationships, it's great that they have not (yet) progressed or intensified to unquestionably destructive behaviors. 

Advancing hypomanic states and being instructed to continue the use of anti-depressants? That can be extremely risky. Find a health professional that truly understands the risks of the medications they prescribe. Read the listed potential side effects of your prescriptions. The little black box is there for a reason. A full blown manic episode is often a life-altering event with very negative consequences. Do everything you can to avoid it.

Also, I believe the idea of harnessing that abundance of creative energy and putting it towards writing out your thoughts, goals, fears, and plan would be very beneficial. Include your support system in your brainstorming. The afflicted mind often shuts out the very same people we need to let in.

If you decide to seek the guidance of a therapist, this will likely be your first 'homework' assignment. Treat it like that 30 page assignment we all hated in school. Be descriptive. Draw charts. Sketch pictures. If mania creeps in uninvited, interview your neighbors goldfish for their unique perspective. The more you give the therapist to work with, the easier their job becomes.

Having a psychiatrist and therapist that know, and trust, each other professionally is a major advantage. Why? Because it will lead to a proper diagnosis (effective treatment) much faster than where you currently stand.

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