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Has your Therapist ever told you to stay off this site?


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When I talk to my therapist, I tell her about people I have met online and how supportive they have been. And that I connect with them very well.

She always questions if this site makes me worse? And always keep reminding me the people I am talking to have mental illness and may not be good for me. It makes me sad,

because she should look over their MI and see that they are a person that talk about other things than their issues. 

I am just curious on your thoughts and if any of you experienced this in therapy.

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Yeah, my therapist has suggested that I spend too much time here. She is not supportive of my belonging to MI-related groups, she seems to think it encourages the idea in my head that I'm broken. She thinks it makes the cost of getting better too high. 

Another therapist I've worked with, on the other hand, while my tdoc was on vacation, really encouraged me to find an in-person MI support group. She thought it would help with the feelings of isolation and "other"-ness. I'm very closeted about my MI and she thought it would help me to have somewhere in-person where I was "out" about it, and it was "normal" and okay.

So far I haven't managed to join an in-person support group (due to a combination of scheduling and finding one and social anxiety), but I haven't left CB or related sites either (nor do I plan to).

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37 minutes ago, jt07 said:

People have a need to talk to others who actually understand.

This I agree with, I have made many attempts with people in real life to try to get some support or understanding.. and it doesn't last, it will only go soo far until they feel like I am I burden. I haven't found a DBSA group around here. So I am lucky I have this website and I tell my therapist that. And I have had better advice here than some of therapists gave me in the past.

 

33 minutes ago, Geek said:

Yeah, my therapist has suggested that I spend too much time here. She is not supportive of my belonging to MI-related groups, she seems to think it encourages the idea in my head that I'm broken. She thinks it makes the cost of getting better too high. 

I think that is not being fair, to me at least. I see how it is good seeing people in person, it feels better knowing these people know exactly what you're going through and it's cool to see them in real life. 

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I would confront a therapist or psych who tells me to not use online support sites. That is because I don't socialise elsewhere, which inhibits my communication skills, and stops me from learning how to understand outsider views, opinions etc. 

For me that is vital, because I get stuck in myself and lose capacity to see myself as part of the human race, and that the human race is diverse, not everyone in it is going to harm me or hate me etc. Its also important because it teaches me how to have more constructive conversations, not be so passive-aggressive and volatile and accept that just because others have different opinions, it doesn't make them or me an inherent problem. 

Whilst I am not open to in person interaction unless it is forced, how else am I supposed to figure out that its not dangerous if I have no access to online support sites? 

Some are very counterproductive, but here isn't by a long shot. I have changed a lot since I joined and I am forever grateful. 

Edited by Hopelessly Broken
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@KnickNak my tdoc has told me to keep a good balance. she says i should not depend on online forums as my only form of socialization, at the same time it is only people here that truly understand what it is like to struggle with serious MI everyday for decades. I have lost a lot of people that i considered friends because they just don't understand or want to hear anything about depression or emotional struggles. i had to lower my expectations and not look for support in "real life" apart from my therapist or pdoc. i just end up feeling worse about myself, like a burden.

it's isolating and lonely as hell. sure, it's better to talk with people in person, but some of us only have CB or online support. i am very grateful for the supportive understanding people here.

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I don't talk about my mental illness in real life except when I see my psychiatrist, and I honestly wouldn't go to any real-life support groups because I'm rather shy in groups so sites like CB are very important to me. It allows me to be around people who understand and to be myself because I'm anonymous and I can discuss my feelings openly.

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15 hours ago, Hopelessly Broken said:

Some are very counterproductive, but here isn't by a long shot. I have changed a lot since I joined and I am forever grateful. 

Likewise.. I was on 2 other mental health support sites, and it just wasn't the same as this one. People here feel more real and without this site I don't think I could have made it through 2012-2014 and it brought me such comfort knowing I have a wonderful group of people here. 

4 hours ago, Rabbit37 said:

I haven't named this site, but he knows I belong to an MI site, and is fine with it. I also don't socialize IRL. 

My therapist wants to know the name of this site, I won't tell her. For some reason I feel like it's personal to me and I don't want her to taint it. If that makes sense.

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9 hours ago, Blahblah said:

I have lost a lot of people that i considered friends because they just don't understand or want to hear anything about depression or emotional struggles

It's quite sad isn't it? I had lots of friends, I often wonder if it scares them of if it doesn't interests them.. I do think I see myself as a burden like you said or someone with baggage. And also, some people can't afford therapists .. which is another reason this site helps.

9 hours ago, Blahblah said:

my tdoc has told me to keep a good balance

This is very true, and I think with anything in life.. there should be balance.

4 hours ago, heilmania said:

My pdocs are fine with my being part of CB. My old pdoc thought it was great.

My argument to you doc would be, "How is it different than going to a support group IRL?"

(it's not)

Amen to that, I see her tonight.. I will ask her that. 

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When I was seeing a Psychologist for therapy I mentioned the sites I go to, He advised me not to go to those sites as they might add to my existing depression. He also pointed out I was ill myself and should putting all energy toward fixing that. "Dealing with the depressed or other MI is very depressing, I should know. Just look at the number of suicides of counselors and psychiatrists." he said. I did not tell him what URL's or the names of the sites. We never discussed it again.

He has good points but a lot are posting to compare notes on meds, it brings people comfort to know there is someone out there who is also having the same experiences and side effects you are.
 

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I  have never told my therapist about CB. Not because he won't like it. It just never come up.

 

there are times I read this board that it may trigger something, but for the most part it helps me realize that I am not as crazy as I think I am.

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11 hours ago, notloki said:

He advised me not to go to those sites as they might add to my existing depression

My therapist said the exact thing. The only depression it caused  me is maybe not being able to give more valuable advice to people.

11 hours ago, notloki said:

it brings people comfort to know there is someone out there who is also having the same experiences and side effects you are.

Ditto. I wouldn't even know or begin to look for someone who has the extent of what I have. This site has helped me in very dark times.

 

1 hour ago, Savannah said:

but for the most part it helps me realize that I am not as crazy as I think I am.

Everyone has a little crazy in them, some have it worse than others :) It puts things in perspective for me, like things could always be worse.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I have seen some counterproductive forums, so I think some caution makes sense, but a well moderated board can be a very helpful thing and perhaps many tdocs don't have enough experience with them to understand this.

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