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i don't express myself very well.  i could have the worst month of mylife then go to the counselor and suddenly, wow, i'm feeling better.  must be a left over coping mechanism from childhood when, if asked, i put on the smiley face and danced the dance.  it's not coming in handy anymore.  i'm feeling really desperate.  i don't know how to express to the pdoc that I NEED MORE of anything he's got.  life is going downhill.  i am getting worse.  there is no outside force to explain it , life is no better or worse externally than it ever has been.  i'm not sure what i can say, when i look fine and act fine and the most i do is cry (and of course always deny-deny-deny i'd ever think to hurt myself - do not want to end up in psych ward).  please help.  i put this here because i'm in need of a good drug combo.  i don't care anymore if it deadens me.

i've tried zoloft, paxil, prozac, wellbutrin, effexor, lexapro; abilify, zyprexa, seroquel; ritalin, strattera; clonazepam.  Currently just lexapro 10 mg and clonazepam 1 mg as needed.  should be taking strattera but it doesn't help so i'm not.  have adhd and anxiety andi guess depression.  what is risperdal helpful for?  should i ask for more lexapro??  i want my ritalin back. 

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i don't express myself very well.  i could have the worst month of mylife then go to the counselor and suddenly, wow, i'm feeling better.  must be a left over coping mechanism from childhood when, if asked, i put on the smiley face and danced the dance.  it's not coming in handy anymore.  i'm feeling really desperate.  i don't know how to express to the pdoc that I NEED MORE of anything he's got.  life is going downhill.  i am getting worse.  there is no outside force to explain it , life is no better or worse externally than it ever has been.  i'm not sure what i can say, when i look fine and act fine and the most i do is cry (and of course always deny-deny-deny i'd ever think to hurt myself - do not want to end up in psych ward).  please help.  i put this here because i'm in need of a good drug combo.  i don't care anymore if it deadens me.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

There are a number of things that might work, might squash your awake time, and/or your personality. One thing my pdoc has done is give me something that will make me sleepy/mellow (lorazepam, risperdal) to deaden my feelings until the latest med trial reached a point where I might be feeling a definate improvement.

As for communicating these things to your pdoc and therapist I suggest a couple of simple steps:

Step one: print this message.

Step two: call your pdoc and call your therapist

Step three: read this message to him.

Step four: ask for immediate as well as long-term relief.

I hope you get relief soon!

Fiona

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