Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

do meds even do anything?


Recommended Posts

I'm so sick of going to pdoc, trying new shit, seeing no difference. What the hell is the point. Every person on this board has some long ass list of 20 meds they have tried in the past that didnt do shit but give you crappy side effects. Why am I throwing away so much money, going to pdoc and dealing with her crap- why am I doing all this when they dont even work anyway.

My problem is no neurotransmitter problem.. I was born feeling crappy and its just who I am. The only med that could help me is one that could erase my memory so I wouldnt have to think about how shitty everything is, so I wouldnt be crying every stupid fuckin day. Of course theres booze and drugs.. but where the hell do I get that. Im not 21 and I dont know anybody- so I have no connection to alcohol, and I dont even know who the hell to ask about drugs.

So what else can I take, what else can I do just to get away from my crappy life. I dont want to kill myself right now b/c I want to do it right. I want is nice & thought out, I want it to be final.. and right now I just dont have the energy to plan this shit out. I cant go to the hospital b/c its too much money and then I just come back with even more make up work to do.. it'll just make things worse.

I could just watch tv all day but then I feel like such a lazy shit.. and then I dont get my work done, then Im behind in all my classes and then things just get worse. I dont even think I'm going to graduate anymore. Its so sad because I never thought I'd be here with no energy, not graduating.. just wasting my parents money and being such a failure. I wish there was some way to just disappear, I wish no one ever knew me and I could just be gone.

Or maybe there was something that could just harden me so i wouldnt be so goddamn emotional all the time. I hate crying when I wake up because I have another stupid day ahead of me, I hate crying after classes because I have no fuckin idea whats going on, I hate crying after therapy because we just keep talking about the same shit, Im not ever going to change and I'm just wasting an hour of his life.

I dont even think this has anything to do with the topic line.. but whatever I just feel like complaining. I know theres nothing anyone here can do to help me since we all probably feel the same. But what helps? I just feel like whatever I do Im just going to end up fucking up my stupid life, then I could just go on like I am now... crying and feeling like shit each day- but why continue with that. I know people will tell me things get better with time.. but it just feel like its getting worse.

I dont really expect any reply to this b/c theres nothing to be said. Im just sick of trying...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just feel like whatever I do Im just going to end up fucking up my stupid life, then I could just go on like I am now... crying and feeling like shit each day- but why continue with that. I know people will tell me things get better with time.. but it just feel like its getting worse.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I understand as well.  I'm kinda wondering the same thing.  What's the point in fighting when it feels like you are sure to lose.  I keep waiting for it to get better, but it doesn't seem like it has or ever will.  I'm not advocating suicide, but yeah, I understand.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi delicate,

in answer to your (probably rhetorical) question: we keep trying different meds because sometimes, one works for a little while, and we get a glimpse of what it could be like to not feel this way.

the image I like is this: normally I'm under 6 feet of snow. It's fucking cold, and I can't move. I can go to therapy, but it's like trying to shovel out using a teaspoon. but when a drug works, suddenly the drifts are lifted, and I can get around much easier. it's soooo nice to not have all those thoughts that I used to think were just me and my depressed personality. the meds allow me to think--wait, maybe I am actually this person with all the clouds lifted. maybe this happier person is really me.

when a med stops working, and the next one doesn't work, or it fattens us up or makes us even more batshit than before, it's tempting to just say screw it and go without.

and then we lose hope. nothing wrong with that. once you lose hope, there is always waiting without hope. try something, don't expect it to work, or even bother hoping. just go try it.

lily

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi delicate,

I am right there with you. all these meds. and what is happening? nothing. but if i were to quit paxil - within 2 days Id be sucidial (well known incidents to me).

It sucks to be underage and not be able to drink. but thats the bipolar self-medicating coming out of me. and as an adult i should say "no drinking, young person."

but for me sometimes its the only thing that helps.

Please know that I feel the same way.

love,

december

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To restate what someone said above; yeah, there's all these people with 20 meds listed that they tried and that didn't work.  But some people found that one that does.  That's really the goal for everyone.  Keep going back to try something new until there's no more new to try.  Then on to alternative treatments.  During the process, it sucks ass, but it's kind of the only way we've got to get out of it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

sorry to revive this lame ass thread again.. but i just need to vent..

how can people handle this? Just came back from pdoc and yet another hundred bucks for 3 weeks worth of pills.., and thats even with pdoc giving me some samples..  I just don't have this kind of money and I can't make my parents pay these huge bills for some stupid meds that I probably shouldnt be taking cuz they dont do shit anyway.

so far I've just been charging everything to my student account for school.. but once the semester is up I'm sure I'll owe them something in the 1000-1500 range. Its like this everytime I come back from the pharmacy.. I just break down and cry because I can't believe I'm wasting so much money. Then pdoc wanted me to get blood tests to check thyroid, liver whatever.. but they dont even take insurance for that and I can't spend another 150+ on blood tests...

I know I shouldn't complain because at least I have parents that are willing to support me, but I cant just keep handing them this bills every month.. I feel terrible making them pay so much.. I could see if I had some disease and needed meds... or if I was 70 yrs old.. but Im 20.. why do I even need this...I just feel so guilty.. I know I should just get a job so I can pay for these.. but I can barely get up for classes... how am I gonna hold up a job, especially without crying sometime during the shift.

well my plan is to stop the meds in 3 weeks.. no titrations down.. just cold turkey stop them all.. I cant afford this anymore.. and if my body freaks out for a week- then whatever I deserve it anyway...

Is there anyone out there who is not taking any meds and doing okay? Please someone tell me it can be done...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

how can people handle this? Just came back from pdoc and yet another hundred bucks for 3 weeks worth of pills.., and thats even with pdoc giving me some samples

If it's a new med, why get so many of them at once? Why not buy only a week or 10 days worth, and then reassess whether you're continuing the med or not.

Then pdoc wanted me to get blood tests to check thyroid, liver whatever.. but they dont even take insurance for that and I can't spend another 150+ on blood tests...
I know it's money, but get the thyroid check. If your thyroid is off, a supplement might solve much of your depression issues.

well my plan is to stop the meds in 3 weeks.. no titrations down.. just cold turkey stop them all.. I cant afford this anymore.. and if my body freaks out for a week- then whatever I deserve it anyway...

Spend the next three weeks tapering down if you're giving up on meds. Depending on what you're taking your body might freak out for more than a week. Or it might freak out in ways that land you in the hospital -- and believe me that bill will make meds and blood tests look like they're free.

I've taken a long list of meds, some helped more than others. Now I've reached a combination that makes me feel almost 'normal.' However, if I'd given up before this, I'm pretty sure I'd be dead by now.

Fiona

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Heya delicate,

Meds are freaking expensive, and especially if you have the ones that aren't working for you.

Slow taper is indeed the only way to go.  I've seen *very few* people go cold-turkey and not get very, very sick.

Like a rocking pneumonia, hit by a bus, and crushing suicidal depression all at once.

Don't do that.  Go slow.  Go slow.

The blood tests are another story.  They are *so* worth doing, and eating the cost.

If your blood sugar, or thyroid, or some other process, is misbehaving, then it can be *fixed,* and the mood stuff might be helped or at least simplified.

If the bloods are all *normal,* it's not only reassuring, but it also simplifies your treatment.

The majority of people I think go through a bunch of meds before they get the right stuff.

Be okay.

--ncc--

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...