Hermione Posted August 24, 2017 Share Posted August 24, 2017 I am on my vacation and still feel depressed. My therapist didn't even want me to go on this vacation because it is with my parents and they are a trigger and I am already deep in the depression hole. Last time I went away for the weekend with them I came home more depressed and suicidal and I feel it will be no different granted I am already that way as it is. I was no longer motivated to go to work so it's nice to not have that responsibility but still miserable I forgot the extra meds to up my remeron my psychiatrist said after 5 days I could up it if no change and there has been no change. I am tired of this I can't enjoy vacation as is I felt obligated I can't distance myself from my parents or can't seem to. I just give up I am sick of it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heilmania Posted August 24, 2017 Share Posted August 24, 2017 I'm so sorry you're feeling like crap. No giving up, though. You're stronger than the negative thoughts. It sounds like last time, you came back feeling suicidal, but you did feel better before this most recent bout of depression. Try to remember that you've gotten through this before, that things can and will feel better again. Take care, Hermione, and keep posting if it's helping to distract you, even if you're just writing your stream of consciousness in a blog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkfloydforeverlove Posted August 24, 2017 Share Posted August 24, 2017 I understand what it's like to have parents as a major trigger. It'll get better. I promise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paintedsky Posted August 24, 2017 Share Posted August 24, 2017 (edited) Maybe the trip will provide an opportunity to feel better in some way, so I'm glad you decided to try. It's sounding like this vacation is confirming your feelings that you need space from these people. Edited August 24, 2017 by paintedsky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermione Posted August 24, 2017 Author Share Posted August 24, 2017 (edited) Thanks for the support I was badly depressed before I came I fear it will just get worse I was suicidal before I came and just hoping this goes ok I have 3 sessions planned with my therapist 30 minute phone calls and anytime I need. I love my parents it is just complicated. But huge trigger whether I like it or not... I hate depression I will probably try to write some in my journal that is good for me too if I could draw I would it's beautiful here. Edited August 24, 2017 by Hermione Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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